As a rule of thumb, breakups always suck. It doesn't matter what decade you go through them, they're the worst — and the '00s were no exception. But, happily, there were certain ways you got over a breakup in the '00s we had at our disposal to at least minimize the recovery time from heartbreak to whole, functioning human being again. It wasn't always easy and it wasn't always fun, but it was mostly bearable. Bonus? Being single in the '00s was hella fun, so you always had that to look forward to.
I distinctly remember breaking up with my early '00s boyfriend of two-and-half-years back and — as I walked away, careful not to let him see the tears welling up in my eyes — feeling like I might never get over the hurt that I felt in that moment. It didn't matter that I had been the one to break up with him. Whether you were the break-upper or break-uppee, the end of any substantial relationship stung. Sometimes a little, and sometimes a lot. In my case, it was the latter.
The first few weeks post-breakup were spent rather predictably. I don't want to paint the whole sordid picture, but it may or may not have involved copious amounts of chocolate and bawling through High Fidelity. Fortunately, though, that phase soon gave way to the following ways you actually got over a breakup in the '00s.
Listen to Better-Off-Without-You Anthems
Think "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake, and "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. Naturally, you belted it out like you were singing it directly to your ex.
Prank-Dial the Heck Out of Them
You had *67 on your side, and it was so worth the 75 cents per use. I'm not saying it was a mature thing to do ... I'm just saying we did it.
Change Your AIM S/N to Something Cryptic, Yet Pointed
So, instead of being MaTtAnDjUliE_4_eVa, you might switch it up with something perfectly passive aggressive like, FlirtyAndFunGirl_421. The first step to liberated status was a single s/n, duh.
Call Your BFF on Your Pink Razr Flip Phone
Who else were you going to vent to about every.single.one of your ex's annoying habits? Let me rephrase that: who else would have kept listening to you incessantly ramble on? Thanks, bestie.
Decide Your Unfettered Future Included Road Rules
Setting your sights on the future is always a solid way to get through a breakup. In the early '00s, we still watched a lot of MTV and there were always so many sexy singles on Real World and Road Rules. Who could blame us for wanting to give it a go?
Hit the Mall for Some Retail Therapy
Stops into American Eagle Outfitters, Abercrombie, and Hollister were musts — but you'd be lying if you said you didn't dip into Hot Topic to flirt with the hot "scene" guy working the counter.
Adjust Your MySpace Top 8 Accordingly
For a few weeks, you might keep your ex in your Top 8 in the secret hope you might get back together. So it felt like a big win when you finally came to your senses and kicked their MySpace face to the curb.
Put Forth Your Best Revenge Face
The best revenge, of course, is looking your best — which is why anytime you even remotely thought you might see your ex, you styled your hair with Aussie sprunch spray, shellacked some Juicy Tubes on your lips, and spritzed on Jessica Simpson's edible perfume. Hot damn!
And Rock Your Fierce Revenge Fashion
Sassy slogan tee that said "FLIRT" in big, sparkly letters? Check. Super-tight, low rise jeans without pockets on the butt? Check, check.
Life is too short to spend pining over some silly boy! At least that's how you felt when you watched Amelie, which convinced you that you were one beautiful adventure away from finding a quirky, exotic love to put your lame ex to shame. Oi, please.