At this point, we're pretty confused about who should end up with Bachelorette Andi Dorfman. Josh haters and Nick haters caught a glimpse of the two men in a more relaxed setting during Monday's hometown dates. The result? We can see her with Josh, but we can also see her with Nick. Of course, Chris the farmer could even end up being the wild card. Point is, we don't know who Andi should end up with, so we need some more information. Fortunately, Chris's mom announced to Andi during their chat that she and Chris would "have beautiful babies."
But there are serious feelings on the line; we can't just take Chris's mom's word on this. So, serious journalist that I am, I decided to see what Andi and her partner's kids would look like by visiting some Internet baby-making generators.
Will she and Chris indeed make beautiful babies? Will Nick's Neville Longbottom looks sabotage his chances? Will Josh pass on that ginormous smile to his kids?
For the best, most scientific results, I used the photo of Andi in the header of this article, since it's a flattering, straight-on shot. For the men, I used their ABC promo pictures, since they're all styled and shot by the same photographer. I also made matches using three different sites: Morph Thing, Make Me Babies, and Baby Maker to generate a variety of choices.
So what will Andi's future kids look like? It's time to find out.
ANDI & CHRIS VIA MORPH THING
This website is well-known for its mashup abilities and will likely give us our most accurate results. Chris's mom talked a big game, so let's see how the farmer's kids could stack up.
All I can say is Andi and Chris better hope for a boy if they have kids.
ANDI & JOSH VIA MORPH THING
Why do both of their children remind me of Yoda?
ANDI & NICK VIA MORPH THING
Nick's kids are actually both pretty cute. His son has that whole model-gaze thing going for him.
But those are just the results from the most reputable morphing site. Now it's time to move on to the sites who make up for less precision with props and funky photo borders. First up?
ANDI & JOSH VIA BABY MAKER & MAKE ME BABIES
Makemebabies.com doesn't just have a funny URL, its photo results are hysterical. Check out Andi and Josh's daughter:
And their son, who is apparently a child born on a pirate ship in 1776, tricorner hat and all.
Like, puh-lease. That's Nick's son if I ever saw him. If Andi and Josh pop that baby out, Josh should ask for a DNA test.
Fortunately Baby Maker was a little kinder to the pair.
See, not so bad once you get past the whole "you stuck a morphed face on top of the head of an actual child" thing.
ANDI & CHRIS VIA BABY MAKER & MAKE ME BABIES
Remember how morphing made Chris and Andi's son a looker and their daughter a bit more on the homely side? This time it was the opposite. Here's what Baby Maker and Make Me Babies respectively thought their son would look like:
Help. These sites are condemning Andi and Chris to sons that look like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.
ANDI & NICK VIA BABY MAKER & MAKE ME BABIES
Baby Maker gave Nick and Andi a son that is almost identical to the one she would have with Chris.
So much for precision-morphing. Since the son was a bust, let's kick things off strong with the girls. Make Me Babies gave Nick and Andi a daughter with seemingly all their worst traits combined.
But the girl from Baby Maker isn't half bad:
But I'm still giving the cutest kids crown to Nick, who, out of all three websites, had the least atrocious-looking mashup kids. Sorry, Chris and Chris's mom. Better luck next time.