Justin Bieber & Orlando Bloom Fight: A Rundown of the Entire Cast of Celeb Characters

The Bieber-Bloom fight of 2014 really is the gift that keeps on giving. (If someone had actually been injured I wouldn't say that. But they weren't, so as it stands we have the man most well-known as Legolas fighting the man-child most well-known for being unnecessarily shirtless, and it's so random I can't take it!) The latest addition to this strange, strange news is that, apparently, Orlando Bloom is now hanging out with the ex-wife of the man who is "reportedly romancing" Bloom's ex-wife Miranda Kerr, the person who the Bieber-Bloom fight was allegedly about. Is that confusing enough for ya?

As Page Six so nicely puts it,

The swashbuckling movie star frolicked with Australian songbird Erica Packer in Spain Thursday, adding a wild twist to his romantic résumé.

Erica Packer is the ex-wife of Aussie billionaire James Packer, who has been reportedly romancing Bloom’s former spouse, Miranda Kerr.

Usually when the celebrities go overseas in the summer, there's a dry spell when it comes to entertainment news. This year is different. The Bieber-Bloom fights extends beyond just Bloom throwing a punch at Bieber. This thing has taken on a life of its own. There are ex-spouses who have switched partners! There are people involved on multiple continents! Leonardo DiCaprio was there!

I can see how the aftermath of this unexpected pop cultural event could be confusing, so I thought it'd be nice to give a summary of how exactly everyone is involved. Without further ado, The Bieber-Bloom Fight of 2014 Rundown:

Orlando Bloom

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  • Was married to Miranda Kerr
  • Threw a punch at Bieber in a Ibiza restaurant
  • Hung out with a woman named Erica Packer who is the ex-wife of a dude named James Packer who is reportedly tryna get with Kerr (and there's photographic evidence!)

Justin Bieber

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Oops! I mean, JUSTIN BIEBER

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Miranda Kerr

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  • Ex-wife of Orlando Bloom
  • Maybe had an affair with Justin Bieber but probably not because DEAR GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
  • Is, reportedly, being romanced by the James Packer guy

Selena Gomez

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  • Ex-girlfriend of Justin Bieber
  • Wasn't there for the fight
  • Once hung out with Orlando Bloom and everyone was like, "Oh, that's kinda weird. But they're probz not dating."

Leonardo DiCaprio

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Erica Packer

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  • Australian singer and model
  • Hung out with Orlando Bloom on Thursday
  • Apparently popular enough in Australia to have her photo included in our Getty subscription

James Packer

Ian Waldie/Getty Images News/Getty Images
  • Australian businessman
  • Alleged wooer of Miranda Kerr

Michelle Rodriguez

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Zac Efron

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  • Is also in Ibiza
  • But is primarily included here because I know some of y'all are Zac fans and I thought you'd appreciate the pic

OK! Does everyone have everything straight? Hopefully, no other celebrities will involve themselves in this mess. If, like, Octavia Spencer and Rob Kardashian end up being part of this, I'll officially give up.

Images: Getty Images