Some celebrity memoirs are wonderful — Bossy Pants by Tina Fey, for instance, or Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling — while others pose all kinds of problems, like, say the memoir of disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong. And then there is the hot mess of crazy that will surely be Lindsay Lohan's memoir, which she says, will actually "probably be like a trilogy, like Harry Potter." May the literary gods preserve us.
According to an interview Lohan gave the Daily Mail, she hasn't put the books together yet, but that they'd be based on her journals. "I've kept journals my whole life, since when I was a kid, and stuff," she says, "and I think I have a lot to say."
Contrary to what spectators might hope (or fear), Lohan says she wouldn't be looking to make the books a graphic tell-all. Though it's unclear how much we can believe this given that it comes from the girl who infamously released a sex list of all the guys she's allegedly slept with, Lohan says she'd want the books to be positive. She explains:
I worked with a lot of girls in India that have gone through a lot of stuff, and a lot of kids who have gone through family issues or who get subjected to DUI or anything like that and then the pressure of just being better.
I feel like my book will be more about that than anything else because there's the excitement of the life that I have lived but I've seen a lot and if I can help anyone that might feel like its ok to screw up, it's OK to feel lonely, or ugly or to feel overweight or underweight.
So I guess this means that she's no longer looking to have E.L. James ghost write it. So for that much, at least, the literary world can be grateful. Because however you feel about 50 Shades of Grey, one has to admit that James' writing style leaves a lot to be desired.
Given the way Lohan has flitted from project to project lately, not ever seeming to make any of them work, it's unclear if she'll ever actually deliver on this memoir trilogy. If she does come out with the books, I'm sure she'll make a killing on them — after all, isn't everyone a little curious how one of the world's cutest child stars becomes... well, I don't have to say it, do I? Though subjecting us all to three of them might be a bit much. Be on the look out, folks.