Holiday Gifts You Should Never Get Your Girlfriend

Gather round, ye single humans, because I have some good news for us all: No matter what kind of nonsense questions you get about being single from relatives this holiday season, you can take comfort in knowing that you are still #blessed, because you don't have to deal with the prospect of dating someone like this guy who bought his girlfriend a toothbrush last Christmas. I mean, I try not to judge. Buying Christmas gifts for ladies can be hard, or at least it must be for some humans, including the pseudo-boyfriend I had in middle school who bought earrings for my decidedly unpierced ears (it's the thought that counts?). But hey, at least he never gave me anything that made some not-so-subtle implications about my dental hygiene.

"This is the gift that I got my girlfriend last year that ended our relationship," says our protagonist, who thankfully is using his unfortunate miscalculation from last year to offer some stellar advice in the land mine that is gift-giving to a significant other. While this video is clearly meant to be (at least somewhat) facetious, it does hit a little too close to home on the difficulties gift navigating. For instance, is buying someone a FitBit a kind gesture or an insult? Will you get your head bitten off for whatever panicked, paranoid thought is gleaned from the gift of perfume? Is any gift safe? (Obviously yes, because Netflix subscriptions exist, but I do see his point.)

Beyond the advice giving, I think this makes a fitting response video to the Basic Bitch Holiday Gift Guide with all of the subliminal messages, especially because of the uncanny overlap in gift choices. As for Robbie, the stand-up comedian responsible for this gem, something tells me he's going to be learning about the benefits of being single during the holidays all over again, if this year's gift for his girlfriend is any indication of how much he's learned in the past year:

Yes, that is a mannequin. In his defense...OK, I've got nothing. But if you need a laugh and one more very valid reason to be thankful you're single this year, look no further than this "What Not To Get Your Girlfriend" video:

Image: YouTube