The Top 13 Things I Miss About Being Single Now That I'm Happily Married
Having been married for almost a year, I can say, without even the slightest hesitation, that there are things I truly miss about being single. After college, I was single the majority of my 20s, and that was fine with me. Sure, I dated lots and had flings, but when it came to serious relationships, they were few and far between. I never felt like I needed to be in a relationship. If anything, I found relationships to be stifling, and aside from the easy access to sex, it just wasn’t my thing. But then I fell in love ― awww! ― and did the unthinkable for me: I got married.
While I do genuinely love my partner and can’t imagine being married to anyone else, I do still occasionally daydream about being single. While my single friends tell me I’m so lucky to have gotten married, I tell them they’re so lucky to still have singlehood in their back pocket. But that’s the problem with life: You always want what you don’t have.
Wednesday, Feb. 11 is Satisfied Staying Single Day. Perfectly placed just three days before Valentine's Day, Satisfied Staying Single Day is about celebrating just how awesome it is to be single and free to do your own thing, and loving every minute of it. For those of you who are single and stoked about celebrating Satisfied Staying Single Day, let me get in on the celebration, too, as I recall all the things I miss most about being single myself.
13. Not Having To Deal With In-Laws
I love my partner's family and friends ― they're great. But being an American amongst all his French family and friends can be a bit much. In fact, you don't really realize just how American you are until you're surrounded by a bunch of non-Americans. Sometimes, I just miss being an ordinary American drinking wine that doesn't have to be sniffed and savored.
12. Flirting Without Feeling Like I've Done Something Wrong
Sometimes I catch myself saying and doing things that make me feel like I maybe need to take it down a notch. Should I really be giving the guy at my coffee shop a "How you doin'?" look? Probably not. Honestly, I miss just standing around flirting with my bizarrely attractive super while he empties the trash.
11. First Kisses
Even when they're bad, they're still good, because there's nothing like kissing someone for the first time. There's this instant, as you lean in, where you wonder what the next couple seconds has in store. The anticipation is high and the suspense is so exciting. No more of that for me.
10. Not Knowing Who I'm Going Home With
When you're single, you never know how the night is going to end. Will you go home alone? Will you wake up with that hot bartender you've been eyeing for months? Or will there be a hookup session in the elevator of your building, because OMG, the fourth floor is so faraway? I miss the sense of endless possibility.
9. Not Having To Worry About Buying Gifts For My Partner
I just want one holiday to come and go and not have to spend weeks on figuring out what the "perfect" gift is. And then there are birthdays and anniversaries, and the rest of it. Like, why?
8. Having No Reason To Shave My Legs
Right now my partner is in Paris, and I won't see him until April. What does this mean? I. Can. Braid. My. Leg. Hair. It's wonderful. Not that he would ever insist I shave my legs, of course.
7. Unlimited Friend Time
This isn't to suggest that being in a relationship keeps me locked up in my apartment, unable to see anyone else, but sometimes, I just want to see my friends and not feel like I have to ask if he wants to come along, too. I mean, how am I supposed to talk about him, if he comes with me?
6. Sleeping Like A Very Happy Starfish In Bed
Although my partner and I tend to sleep separately, not having to feel bad because he wants to cuddle and I don't was one of the greatest joys of being single.
5. Endless Material For My Writing
Because I write about relationships and sex, being single offered an endless supply of stories for essays and articles. How would I know what a pity bang is first hand or just how much better casual sex gets in your 30s, if it weren't for my single days? I have to admit, I miss the material.
4. Getting Out Of Having Grown-Up Conversations
I don't want to talk about who's paying what bill or where we'll be next Christmas. I just want to buy the most expensive champagne, stick my fingers in my ears, and block it all out.
3. Being Alone
I'm a loner to the core. I thrive when I'm left to my own devices, and I'm pretty sure I could live up in the Yukon for several years before I'd need human contact. That's just how I am. Being single allowed me to be alone all the time, and although my partner is an ocean away at this very moment, being married means I'll never be alone again. For me, that's a scary thought. But at least my partner knows that I need my space.
2. Analyzing Text Messages
Admittedly, I get a wee bit jealous when a friend forwards me a text from someone she's dating and we have to mull over the meaning of it for 20 to 30 minutes. Like, what does he really mean when he says, "I had fun last night?" Is he trying to be vague? Is he just keeping his excitement about how awesome you are to himself for right now? Is "fun" a euphemism for something else?
There's no hidden mystery in my texts anymore.
1. Having The Pizza All To Myself
Sometimes, you just want to eat the whole damn pizza and not have to share or be judged for it. Actually, this goes for all food.
Do you know how exhausting it is to hide food from your partner so he won't eat it? Or to quickly eat it while he just steps out to get more toilet paper? Granted, I'm expert at it by now, but still. Being single never required this much effort. It was awesome.
Images: HBO; Giphy(13)