Dirty talk is great — it helps you feel closer to your partner and allows you to express what you want and need between the sheets. With a little sultry whispering, it's easy to communicate during sex, even if it's something you're not usually comfortable with. Need more clit action? Just whisper into his ear and let him know. Need lube? Tell him how much using it would turn you on. The possibilities are endless, and you'd be surprised by how much better the sex will be.
However, there are more important sweet nothings to be whispered and, surprisingly, they don't have to be of a raunchy nature to be sexy. Mature men know that sex is even hotter when issues like protection, safety, consent, and female orgasm are all covered. It may sound silly, but a willingness to express and discuss these issues verbally makes a man all the more attractive in bed. If he's a grown man who's deserving of your time (and vagina), he'll be able to turn you on with his respectful, forward-thinking pillow talk.
It's time to separate the men from the boys — here are seven things every grown-ass man should be saying in bed.
1. "Do you want me to [insert verb here] you?"
First and foremost, all mature adult men understand the absolute necessity of consent. Asking for consent often gets a bad rap, and less mature guys will say things like, "It kills the mood to ask if she wants it." Au contraire, my misinformed friends. Is there anything remotely unsexy about whispering "Do you want me to f--k you?" into someone's ear? Not to my knowledge.
2. "You're beautiful."
I'm all for dirty talk, but if a man takes the time to pay me a genuine compliment in between the raunchy, sexual commentary, I'm extra turned on. Trust and intimacy come with the territory when you're having sex with a grown-ass man, and he will know that having passionate, romantic sex and having rough, dirty sex are not mutually exclusive.
3. "Where are the condoms?"
Alternatively, he could say, "Hey, look! I have a condom right here!" But the moral of the story is that a man who is actively thinking about using protection is definitely full-grown. No one wants to be banging a dude who makes horrible excuses like "it doesn't feel as good with a condom" when everyone, including this badass 14-year-old girl, knows that is utter bullshit. There's nothing appealing about someone who is willing to put your health and safety at risk just to make their boner happy.
4. "Does this feel good?"
A grown man isn't afraid to ask for feedback — it shows a level of confidence that less secure guys don't possess. Actively making sure a woman is experiencing pleasure rather than just assuming she is makes a guy infinitely more amazing in the sack, IMHO. There won't be any need to fake an orgasm if your partner is regularly checking in to make sure what he's doing feels good to you.
5. "Are you close?"
A sure sign of grown-ass-ness? Caring about female orgasm and understanding that sex does not revolve around male ejaculation. Regardless of when he finishes, a mature man knows that sex isn't over until both parties have climaxed. Whether he's asking during foreplay, intercourse, or afterplay (I don't think that's a real thing, but now it is), a man who is willing to help you achieve an O by *gasp* actually communicating is worth hanging onto.
6. "I'm going to come."
A warning isn't always necessary, but it's especially nice during oral sex, because not all women enjoy the taste or sensation of semen in their mouth. A respectful man will have the decency to let you know in advance, so you can make whatever decision you're comfortable with about what to do with his semen. Whether you choose to spit or swallow, it won't phase him, because he's mature enough to know that it doesn't matter, and that it's your choice what fluids go in your body.
Sometimes, nothing at all needs to be said between the sheets. A grown-ass man will recognize those moments and cherish them, and not feel the need to fill the silence with unwarranted grunting or dirty talk. Contrary to what most porn would have you believe, sex doesn't have to include screaming to mean that it's good. Silence can be golden, and being aware of that makes a man even more attractive.
Images: Stephen Poff/Flickr; Giphy (7)