After what has felt like a century of waiting, Jurassic World hit theaters June 12. Even those who haven't seen the movie yet have likely gleaned enough information from the trailers to predict that the dinosaur-centric film is rife with bone-chilling moments. As one who scurried to my local theater to see the film faster than you can say "Jeff Goldblum", I can assure you all that yes, some of the dinosaurs (hi, genetically modified Indominus rex) in this summer blockbuster are downright terrifying. I don't even remember how many times I jumped and — being that I saw the movie in 3D — there were several points where I felt like a prehistoric talon was about to literally pilfer my popcorn. The film centers on the fallout from a decision made by a corporate team helming its dinosaur-centric theme park to create a terrifying new dinosaur. The Indominus rex is meant to draw in throngs of new guests, even though the park seems to be doing just fine without a bloodthirsty genetic hybrid being added to the mix.
As you've likely seen in the trailers, the Indominus rex is a supremely intelligent, bloodthirsty killing machine, so when it manages to escape its confines, everything kind of goes awry. As scary as the Indominus rex proves to be throughout the film, it is far from the only fixture that will make you jump out of your seat (keep a good grip on your concessions). If all of this is making you too scared to purchase a ticket and take a walk with the dinosaurs, never fear! For your reading pleasure, I have broken down a list of spoilers and OMG moments from the film so you won't have to sleep with the lights on tonight. Seriously, though, I'd highly recommend actually going to see the movie, even if you have to cover your eyes a few (several) times. ***Major Jurassic World spoilers ahead.***
Jeff Goldblum (Sort Of) Makes An Appearance In The Film
No, we don't get an actual cameo from Jeff Goldblum's Dr. Ian Malcolm. However, we do see talk-nerdy-to-me tech wiz, Lowery Cruthers (Jake Johnson), reading Ian Malcom's book, God Created Dinosaurs, complete with a photo of Ian Malcolm on the back cover.
The Indominus Rex Can Communicate With Velociraptors
The lethal Indominous rex is a genetically modified behemoth that includes DNA strands from various species, including velociraptors. When raptor whisperer, Owen (played by Chris Pratt), attempts to utilize his team of raptors against the Indominous rex, he and his cohorts make a grisly discovery — the Indominus rex can communicate with raptors and poises herself as the pack's new alpha. From there, the raptors turn on the humans and begin a murderous attack. Don't worry, they come back around at the end.
A Bunch Of Adorable Herbivores Die *Sniff Sniff*
When Owen and Claire (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) are frantically searching for Claire's nephews, Gray (Ty Simpkins) and Zach (Nick Robinson), they happen upon what would be a halcyon landscape if it weren't for a bunch of super adorable herbivores laying slaughtered across the hills. This is the moment where Owen and Claire realize that the Indominus rex isn't merely hungry — "she's killing for sport."
Vic Hoskins Wants To Turn Raptors Into Military Weapons
Vic Hoskins (played by Vincent D'Onofrio) is the leader of the park's security force and the film's main (human) antagonist. He attempts to vet Owen to train the raptors in a way that will turn them into deadly, military weapons. Ironically...
...Hoskins Is Killed By A Raptor
After the raptors have turned on everyone, Hoskins starts going on a tangent about his maniacal plan for the species until he is interrupted by a — you guessed it — decidedly volatile raptor. He attempts to ameliorate the raptor, which only leads the creature to nom nom-ing on Hoskins' hand and then totally killing him.
Claire's Assistant, Zara, Suffers An Especially Grisly Fate
After the Indonimous rex gets loose, everything else takes a Murphy's law route where other dinosaurs basically start freaking out over the mayhem. A group of pteranodons takes to attacking a massive crowd, including Claire's assistant, Zara (played by Katie McGrath). A pteranodon carries Zara to the aquatic exhibit where a mosasaurus resides and recently proved itself to be a carnivore by devouring an entire great white shark. Zara swims frantically as the pteranodons continue to poke and nip at her. She is then catapulted into the air by the mosasaurus who devours her.
Claire & Owen Share A Super Random Smooch
Claire proves that she knows her way around a rifle when Owen is being attacked by a pteranodon who comes dangerously close to snacking on his face. She shoots the pteranodon, which leads to a random — albeit shmexy — smooch between her and Owen.
Jimmy Fallon Makes A Cameo
If we can't have Goldblum return in the flesh, we at least get to enjoy a cameo from Jimmy Fallon, who plays himself narrating safety videos for some of the park's rides.
There Is An Epic Battle Between The Indominus Rex & The T. Rex
IMHO, you really haven't lived until you've seen some talon-to-talon combat between a T. rex and an Indominus rex. Seriously, guys, I yelled out "WHOA! THIS IS AWESOME!" during Jurassic World's finale, which included a dino battle. When Owen regains the trust of the raptors, they set to defeat the Indominus rex, who chucks them one by one as if flicking off mosquitos. Claire asks Lowery to open "Panic 9", which is apparently where the T. rex is housed and guess what?? The T. rex is totally human-friendly in this movie! The T. rex basically sees the Indominus rex wreaking havoc and bullying raptors and is all, "not on my watch" in dino-speak. From there, these two mammoth beasts start whaling on each other. The T. rex almost meets a grim fate, but one of the surviving raptors delivers a few hits to dismantle the Indominus rex's reign of terror. From there, the Indominus rex is pushed to a watery bank where none other than the mosasaurus leaps out and eats the Indominus rex!! WHAT!? The T. rex gives all the humans a look like "um...you're welcome," and peaces out. It is everything ever.
Images: Universal Pictures (2); Giphy (8)