I did it again. I marathoned Season 3 of Orange Is the New Black too fast, and now I'm on the other side of it with no more new episodes to watch. While it's nice to be done with Season 3, I miss it already. So, what better way to have its memories live on than in a giant Orange Is The New Black Season 3 full recap? We can all relive it together, guys, because this season has been the best.
Instead of just focusing on Piper and her ongoing woes both inside and outside of Litchfield, the focus of OITNB shifted to the outstanding cast of supporting characters, who very much stole the spotlight. Did you ever think Black Cindy would have that kind of chutzpah? Or what about Chang's surprising backstory that took a character who has been on the sidelines this whole time and brought her front and center? This season was magnificent, and now it's time to go through it again.
The season picked up shortly after the end of Season 2. Rosa got away in her van, and along the way she hit and killed Vee — who is 100% gone from the show. So, here's what happened in Season 3.
1. Bennett Backed Out
The first big OMG moment of the season came with Bennett's flashback story. The episode built him up a lot — could he finally be the real hero he wants to be? However, he found himself in the company of Daya's family, and suddenly he had second thoughts about not only marrying her, but raising their baby, too.
So, Bennett did the only thing he thought he could do. He ran. He's completely gone, MIA, and it's horribly upsetting since he was such a good guy for so long. Not anymore, I guess.
2. Nicky Let Her Vice Get The Best Of Her
At the end of Season 2, Nicky got ahold of Vee's heroin stash. Nicky is a recovering addict herself, and knew she had to get the drugs out of the prison. She teamed up with my favorite correctional officer, Luschek, to sell the drugs and turn a little profit.
It worked. That is, until one remaining pack of heroin was found, and Luschek threw Nicky under the bus for everything. She was taken down to max security, we don't see her again, and I miss her so much. I hope she's OK.
3. The Women Of Litchfield United Over Underwear
There was a new job at the prison that paid a much higher rate. The women basically had to work in a prison sweatshop, making underwear for the lingerie company Whispers. Piper was assigned there (of course) and she was a much better underwear manager than anyone else. After realizing how much material was being wasted, she hatched her own plan to make underwear and sell it.
Oh, but before it was sold, the inmates wore it around for a while, got it nice and smelly (can't believe I just typed that sentence) and then it was sold to pervs online. This underwear venture also gave us the Great Piper Chapman Underwear Monologue of Season 3.
4. Black Cindy Found Her People
It started off as a way to get Kosher meals, and then it turned into the best joke of OITNB Season 3. And then it turned into something real.
After the prison food was overhauled, and basically replaced with mush, the inmates learned that if they claim they're Jewish, they can get Kosher meals. It worked for a while, till a Rabbi came in and shut the whole thing down.
However, Black Cindy was determined to get those Kosher meals, and decided to fully convert to Judaism. She gave the Rabbi the most heartfelt speech about finally finding her people and feeling like she belongs, and I promise I'm not crying over this speech, you're crying over it!
5. Season 3 Made Us Feel For Pennsatucky
Pennsatucky has been a semi-villain for two seasons now. But, in Season 3, parts of her story made me cry. We learned that she did have a serious boyfriend for a while, but immediately after they broke up, she was raped (and probably more than once, too).
On top of that, she befriended one of the new correctional officers, and he raped her, too. It was incredibly heavy stuff. She managed to get a small douse of revenge, but I have a feeling this plot might linger on to the next season.
6. Alex Had Reason To Be Paranoid
She wound up back in Litchfield, and she was immediately convinced that someone was on the inside to kill her. Her fear subsided for the most part, but she let her guard down at just the wrong moment. At the end of the season, she was cornered by one of the drug cartel's members, and I really don't know what's going to happen to her.
7. The Time Hump Chronicles Captured Our Imagination
Suzanne wrote an erotic novel that was basically porn in space, and it was amazing; I want to read it.
8. Poussey And Soso Found Something In A Hopeless Place
Poussey became an alcoholic for a part of the season, and it was difficult to watch her go to such a dark place. She managed to come out of it, though, and told Taystee that she really needed, and wanted, a real, supportive relationship. But Taystee couldn't give her that.
Then we had Soso, who was dealing with an awful bout of depression. Healy ignored her when she asked for help, and she tried to commit suicide (!!) Thankfully, Poussey found her, and the two now have a connection. A connection that looks like it's going to transform into the supportive relationship both of them are looking for. I SHIP IT.
9. Um, Red And Healy Also Found Something In A Hopeless Place?
The award for weirdest storyline of Season 3 goes to... whatever the heck was happening with Red and Healy. She was clearly using him to get what she wanted (her kitchen back) and he was taking things the wrong way. I'm going to say that Healy actually developed feelings for Red, since he and his wife were very estranged.
10. Daya Finally Had Her Baby!
Feels like she's been pregnant forever, huh? In OITNB terms, it really has only been nine months, and she finally gave birth. She intended to give the baby to Pornstache's mother, Delia, but her own mother made that final decision for her. Aleida called Delia and told her that the baby died in childbirth.
Daya's baby was still taken away — this is prison, after all — but was taken by Cesar who was then immediately busted by the DEA for drugs, and the child was taken away from him.
Ugh, I still have so many questions that need to be answered. Season 4 better hurry!Images: JoJo Whilden/Netflix; Giphy (10)