How To Get Married

Get a date, decide if they’re worth it, then get it over the line.

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Do you want to get married? Would you be comfortable saying that out loud, to another human, in real life? It’s a question I asked some single colleagues a few months ago. Their responses were probably similar to yours: yes to marriage, no to talking about it.

To find out if this trend lived beyond our office, Bustle commissioned a survey with OnePoll in which we asked 1,005 women aged 25-39 a series of questions about marriage. Two findings stood out:

  • 77% agreed that “I would like to be married or in a civil partnership.”
  • 68% agreed that “I prefer not to say out loud how keen I am to get married.”

Those figures became more extreme in the North East (82%, 74%) and West (86%, 78%), while women of the Southwest (Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, et al.) also wanted to be married (72%) but had much less difficulty talking about it (52%).

We don’t believe in staying quiet about the things that you want, so if you want to get married, this guide is for you. It’s structured in three parts: getting a date, working out if you should commit, and securing commitment in return. You’ll also find more data, brilliant first-person anecdotes, and a final sendoff to remind you that a bad marriage is worse than no marriage. We hope you find it useful.—Charlotte Owen, Editor in Chief

The Data

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Women In New York & L.A. Want Marriage More Than Women In Texas. Why?

Plus five other discoveries from our survey.

By Bustle Editors

Why It's High Time To Consider Using A Matchmaker

Experts explain why they’re so valuable and how they work.

Peter Dazeley, AzmanJaka, Fiordaliso, Steven Puetzer, Sara Flappo, EyeEm/Getty Images

How I Made It Happen

One woman on the approach to dating apps that got her the result she wanted.

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The Road Map To Making It “Official”

How to navigate the dreaded “what are we” talk.

Ronn, Johan, Carl, Dan Brownsword, Aaron Foster, Kevin Reid, Kwanchai Lerttanapunyaporn, EyeEm/Getty Images
By Ashley Abramson

The Moment I Knew

3 women on the moment they knew their partner was “the one.”

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One More Thing...

According to the data, somewhere between 13% and 20% of engagements are called off before walking down the aisle. If that sounds familiar, let’s talk upsides. Firstly, you’re about to save a lot of money. The Knot estimates the average wedding reception costs $22,500 in 2021, while hiring an attorney to help with a divorce will set you back between $10,000 and $20,000. But more than that, you just dodged a bullet.

We asked Bustle readers about the relationships they’re glad they left behind and these are their stories, including an unexpected pregnancy, infidelity, and a good old fashioned oedipus complex.

Introducing: Thank F*ck I Didn’t Marry Them.

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