How To Get Married

Get a date, decide if they’re worth it, then get it over the line.

Archive Holdings Inc, Nick Dolding, Ronn, Johan, Carl/Getty Images

Do you want to get married? Would you be comfortable saying that out loud, to another human, in real life? It’s a question I asked some single colleagues a few months ago. Their responses were probably similar to yours: yes to marriage, no to talking about it.

To find out if this trend lived beyond our office, Bustle commissioned a survey with OnePoll in which we asked 1,005 women aged 25-39 a series of questions about marriage. Two findings stood out:

  • 77% agreed that “I would like to be married or in a civil partnership.”
  • 68% agreed that “I prefer not to say out loud how keen I am to get married.”

Those figures became more extreme in the North East (82%, 74%) and West (86%, 78%), while women of the Southwest (Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, et al.) also wanted to be married (72%) but had much less difficulty talking about it (52%).

We don’t believe in staying quiet about the things that you want, so if you want to get married, this guide is for you. It’s structured in three parts: getting a date, working out if you should commit, and securing commitment in return. You’ll also find more data, brilliant first-person anecdotes, and a final sendoff to remind you that a bad marriage is worse than no marriage. We hope you find it useful.—Charlotte Owen, Editor in Chief

The Data

1 / 3
Women In New York & L.A. Want Marriage More Than Women In Texas. Why?

Plus five other discoveries from our survey.

by Bustle Editors
Why It's High Time To Consider Using A Matchmaker

Experts explain why they’re so valuable and how they work.

Peter Dazeley, AzmanJaka, Fiordaliso, Steven Puetzer, Sara Flappo, EyeEm/Getty Images

How I Made It Happen

One woman on the approach to dating apps that got her the result she wanted.

1 / 3
The Road Map To Making It “Official”

How to navigate the dreaded “what are we” talk.

by Ashley Abramson
Ronn, Johan, Carl, Dan Brownsword, Aaron Foster, Kevin Reid, Kwanchai Lerttanapunyaporn, EyeEm/Getty Images

The Moment I Knew

3 women on the moment they knew their partner was “the one.”

1 / 3

One More Thing...

According to the data, somewhere between 13% and 20% of engagements are called off before walking down the aisle. If that sounds familiar, let’s talk upsides. Firstly, you’re about to save a lot of money. The Knot estimates the average wedding reception costs $22,500 in 2021, while hiring an attorney to help with a divorce will set you back between $10,000 and $20,000. But more than that, you just dodged a bullet.

We asked Bustle readers about the relationships they’re glad they left behind and these are their stories, including an unexpected pregnancy, infidelity, and a good old fashioned oedipus complex.

Introducing: Thank F*ck I Didn’t Marry Them.

1 / 6