Last fall, Vanderpump Rules stars Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright spent some time with the latter's family in Winchester, Ky. and, just as many Pump fans thought, the Bravo cameras were there for all of it. And praise Giggy, Pump fans will get to watch all of it sometime this year. Alas, like an oyster that's just not ready to unleash its pearl, Vanderpump Rules: Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky has yet to share its premiere date. But much like that pearl, the SURvers' series is sure to be worth the wait.
How could it not be? Brittany’s probably the loveliest person on Pump Rules, Jax is probably the funniest person on Pump Rules, and animals are always the best (forever a fan of Clare Crawley and her Bachelor in Paradise raccoon fan, please don't give me that look). Looking for a stellar reality TV show this summer? You better believe Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky has the ingredients.
What would yours truly like to see happen on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' spinoff's spinoff? Here are some humble wishes for Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky.
1. Jax Wearing Overalls As Often As Possible
Now, the overalls may not be the next chunky knit sweater (what could ever be?), but it’s still a great Jax look.
2. Plenty Of Scenes With Brittany’s Pet Pig
Would you take a peek at that little cutie back there? That's some serious Hanky the swan-level star power. Bacon Bit was born to be on TV.
Quick sidebar: Could you imagine Hanky, Panky, Giggy, Bacon Bit, Gordo, and the other Pump Rules pets reenacting the Pump Rules opening credits? It'd be a masterpiece, no question.
3. Brittany Taking Jax To All Of Her Favorite Places Around Town
Gotta see Brit's old stomping grounds, doye.
4. Brittany & Jax Visiting Castle Post
There is a castle in Versailles, Ky. that, as was revealed on Pump Rules Season 5, is where Brittany hopes to one day be married. Let us see this fabled citadel and let us see Jax drink in this fabled citadel, please and thank you.
5. Jax Creating A Cocktail Inspired By Their Visit
He could call it the… The Winchest-SUR? (Sorry.)
6. Jax Befriending A Mini Horse
No such thing as “too many mini horses on Bravo,” my friend.
7. Brittany & Jax Building Something Together
Maybe they assemble a brand new gate. Maybe they put together a hutch. Maybe they repair a rocking chair. Whatever it is, by season's end, the project would be complete. It'd be a symbolic moment. And symbolism is what these shows are all about, right?
8. Brittany Playing Practical Jokes On Jax
Just some harmless pranks that’ll set Jax off for all of 30 seconds before he realizes what’s going on and laughs it off, nothing too wild. Fake animal turds on his pillow, toy possums in the bathroom, whoopee cushions stitched into his overalls pockets — you get the picture.
9. More Of Jax's Barnyard Animal Impressions
In the trailer, Jaxypoo flaps his wings and clucks like a chicken. It's beautiful. Hopefully, this is just one of many animal sounds in Jax's repertoire.
10. More Lyrics To "Farmer Jax"
Another trailer highlight: While tossing bales of hay at some lunching cattle, Jaxypoo croons, "Farmer Jaaaax." Alas, before we can hear more, the trailer cuts to another scene. It's not enough.
11. A Genuinely Happy Season Finale
Does their trip to Kentucky really fall apart at the end? Because that's what the trailer wants us to believe. And that'd be a real bummer. May there actually be a happy twist. A proposal, a group hug, a rousing rendition of "Farmer Jax" — something.
And hey, now that Taylor and DJ James Kennedy are apparently chummy, maybe they can collaborate on a "Farmer Jax" single. Just chucking it out into the univ-SUR-se.