13 Questions To Ask A Therapist To Help You Get Over Your Ex

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

While some breakups are easier to move past, others are harder to recover from. You may try various coping and self-care strategies, from seeing friends more to focusing on something you’ve been meaning to do, like hiking every morning before work. But if you keep trying to move on and just cannot, it may be time to talk to a therapist if you can’t get over your ex. After all, the loss of the ex may be deeper in your subconscious than you may realize.

“Oftentimes, breakups are very painful, and it is important to process that pain,” Jessica Schroeder, LCMT, Registered Play Therapist, and Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, of the JS Therapy Group, tells Bustle. “It is critical to get over your ex — not only to become emotionally healthy, but also to prevent carrying experiences forward into new relationships.”

You may not even realize how this hurdle is affecting new relationships, but there are plenty of ways not being over an ex can manifest when you're seeing someone new. “For example, you could compare your new partner to your ex or you could unintentionally have reactions according to what happened in your relationship with them,” Schroeder says. “Or, if you felt you were not good enough in your last relationship, you may have behavioral responses in your future relationships, all according to that self-narrative.”

While there is definitely no one-size-fits-all formula to getting over an ex, there are questions you can ask a therapist that will help, according to therapists themselves. And, the sooner you begin taking steps to do so, the better you’ll feel and the more you’ll be able to move on. Below are 13 questions to ask a therapist to help you move on.