13 Women Share Their Dating Goals For 2019

by Natalia Lusinski

The New Year is less than a week away, which for some means setting goals for 2019, whether they’re about career, health, money, etc. After all, if you feel the drive to, the New Year can be a time to refresh many areas of your life, including your love life. When it comes to dating goals for 2019, you may just want to date yourself, which is completely OK; the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable you may be later if you decide you want to date someone new. And, if you do want to focus on dating in 2019, goal-setting is a great way to re-strategize your love life.

Goals help us create a target we want to hit — it’s important to know where you are now and where you want to be,” Rachel Wright, a licensed sex and relationship therapist, tells Bustle. “Even if the goal represents the middle of the dartboard, it allows us to at least know where to aim.” She says that even if you miss the bullseye, you’ll end up much closer than if you didn’t set the goal at all.

Below, 13 women share their dating goals for 2019, and you’ll probably be able to relate to some or be inspired to set some of your own.


Joanna, 30

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My dating goal for 2019 is to overcome my fear of commitment; I’ve never been in a long-term relationship because of this fear. All my life, I’ve been very independent and pursuing my career and dreams on my own terms. My role as a digital director for a leading agency keeps me very busy [...] but I won’t let ‘being busy’ be an excuse. If there’s someone in my life I admire, care about, and want to share my life with, I won’t let time or my fear be the reason for another missed chance on love.”


Allena, 25-30

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My dating goal is to meet someone the old-fashioned way — offline. [...It's] downright overwhelming and discouraging trying to filter through and find a somewhat decent guy to go on a date with [online]. [...] Rather than burying my face behind a screen to find ‘The One,’ I’ll be looking for a guy IRL to get to know without the electronic facade tainting any initial opinions of him. A few ways I’m planning to put myself out there is by trying a new hobby, going to the gym without headphones so I appear to be more open to conversing, and even going to Happy Hour on my own!”


Heather, 31

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“I spent 2018 dating a lot of guys, including one exceptional man who unexpectedly passed away a few months later from a serious illness. It was difficult to get back into dating again, but I still tried and went out with a few more guys that were not right for me. In 2019, I want to continue dating now that I know what I don’t want and know that there are great men in the world. I’m going to keep putting myself out there and see what happens!”


Lisa, 46

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My main dating goal in 2019 is to not settle on some guy that I’m not really interested in just because I’m bored or lonely. I’ve spent 30-some years dating the wrong guys for the wrong reasons and the end results are the same — I’m miserable. The very definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior, expecting different results. I’m tired of insane dating, so I’m saying ‘no’ to the wrong men and wrong dating practices.”


Veronica, 29

Ashley Batz/Bustle

As a women of color and an entrepreneur, dating has been a struggle in 2018. My dating goals for 2019 are going to change by being more available and saying ‘yes’ when I would have normally said NO. I have made a list of dating ideas outside the box to include apartment or car shopping for fun, weekend overnight trips, and taking cooking classes. I’m looking for someone that is open to having fun and being spontaneous. I have to be sure I allow the space for that with my busy schedule as a business owner, but I have high hopes 2019 will bring me good vibes.”


Madison, 31

Ashley Batz/Bustle

“My primary dating goal is to be more comfortable in my sexuality. I only came out as a lesbian a few years ago, to very few people, and I want to have the strength and confidence to tell more people this year. As a result, I’m hoping the Universe (and maybe even my friends!) will reveal more dating possibilities to me!”


Abigail, 38

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My dating goals for 2019 are to have more experiential dates; ‘getting a drink’ or ‘meeting for coffee’ are so tired. If the date has to include alcohol, a trip to a vineyard, wine tasting, a wine class led by a sommelier, or a cocktail-making class are all more engaging dates than meeting for Happy Hour. [...] Also, I aim to have more balanced, reciprocal dating; one person always planning is a no-go; both parties should take initiative. Another goal is for more mindful dating in 2019, as well as more friend dates; all dates don’t have to be for the development of a romantic or sexual relationship. Dating is fun if done right and authentically.”


L, 47

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My dating goals for 2019 are toward the man I’m seeing; it’s vital, because each year we evolve according to various scenarios experienced. [...] I will pick one day per month and dedicate the day to him by celebrating him as if it’s a national holiday. In addition to that day, we will plan a date to meet after work at a grown and sexy restaurant/bar with music to get to know one another more. Overall, each month, we will explore something new together that neither has done before.”


Carolyn, 33

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“My dating goal for 2019 is to stop dating. [...]What I want to know about someone, above all else, is: Are we physically compatible? If our bodies don’t fit together nicely, if our tongues don’t understand each other, if my hands can’t find a place to touch, I’d rather stop right there. But if all those things are working and feel good, then let’s do all the mundane, routine BS of getting to know each other.”


Alex, 29

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

I’m non-binary, which is difficult for a lot of people I know to understand. ‘How can you not be more male or female?’ they say. The thing is, I cannot explain it; it’s a feeling. As a result, I may be more attracted to a male one day, and a female another day. Confusing?! Yes! So my new dating goal is to not care what others think! This is much, much easier said than done, but I’ll definitely give it a try!”


Leah, 23

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“I’m an advertising professional in Brooklyn who has been on a grand total of five dates in the past year, two of which were [...] incredible. This is kind of odd, but I’m terrible at dates and really, really good at job interviews. That said, I’ve decided to reframe how I handle dating in New York (complete fear, shrinking to the self-confidence of my seventh grade self), and instead, look at the date through the lens of an interview. [...] Ultimately, and I guess this is also a life goal that I’m trying to turn into a reality next year, I want to ask double the amount of questions for every answer I give, and that takes [a lot] of confidence and actual active listening.”


Kenzie, 30

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“As a professional woman working 60+ hours a week and building my own business, finding time to date can be difficult, to say the least! My goals for 2019 include coming from behind the screen and meeting potential partners in real time! I definitely believe in the power of online dating, having heard so many success stories from friends and family; however, sometimes it’s too easy to ‘swipe left’ and decide that there aren’t any good mates out there! In 2019, I fully intend to make networking and socializing at in-person events a priority, and allow relationships to unfold. (And maybe swipe right on one or two.)”


Ashley, 23

Hannah Burton/Bustle

“My dating goal for 2019 is to stop looking so hard. I had a bad breakup last year, so I’ve spent all of this year looking for someone. But: You’re never going to find a good guy if you’re constantly searching and not focusing on bettering yourself. So my goal for the New Year is to let the relationship find me. I’m going to live my best life; if a guy is meant to be part of my year, then so be it — he’ll naturally fit in.”

As you can see, the women above have many different dating goals for 2019, although some are similar and overlap. No matter what your own goals are, the important thing is setting some to begin with, then trying to live your life in such a way that you’ll accomplish them.