The Best Toys For Solo Sex Quickies

I go to some extreme lengths to carve out time in my schedule, from re-wearing outfits to brushing my teeth on the toilet. But one thing I will absolutely not sacrifice is my daily sex and/or masturbation routine. That's why I love sex toys that deliver quick orgasms. Slow, sensual sex is nice and everything, but when you've got places to be, it's just not always an option.

So, one of my many creative efforts to save time has been mastering the art of getting myself off quickly. One way of accomplishing this has just been experimenting with different kinds of touch, but toys are definitely a big help. With their assistance, I'm able to masturbate in the span of a two-minute work break. I'll also occasionally take a toy out to speed things up when I'm with my partner and the sushi delivery guy's expected to arrive in five minutes.

I hate to think of all the orgasms I'd miss out on if I didn't have my trusty toys, so now, I'm sharing the information I've acquired with you. Here are some ideal sex toys for people who want to cut down their sex and masturbation sessions to record time.


The Satisfyer Pro 2

Satisfyer Pro 2, $100, Adam and Eve

Unlike your traditional vibrator, this one works by generating air waves that suck in your clit. I'll admit I don't quite understand it, but whatever this sorcery is, it always makes me come in two minutes or less, so I don't question it.


The Womanizer Deluxe

Womanizer Deluxe, $155, Amazon

Similar to the Satisfyer, the Womanizer works through clitoral suction, so this is clearly the technology of the future. According to a study conducted by the Womanizer's manufacturers, 80 percent of users orgasm in two to three minutes, and that is absolutely true to my experience. For me, this comes in second to the Satisfyer, but it's still the real deal.


Adam & Eve Sensual Touch Wand Massager

Sensual Touch Wand Massager, $70, Adam and Eve

I've never encountered a sex toy with vibrations as powerful as the Adam & Eve Sensual Touch Wand Massager. Once I'm ready to finish, all I have to do is switch it to its highest setting.


Hitachi Magic Wand

Hitachi Magic Wand, $52, Amazon

I must be the only sex writer in existence who hasn't tried this thing, but given what others have said, I couldn't leave it out. The Hitachi Magic Wand is famous for its unusually powerful vibrations.


The Doxy

The Doxy, $135, Lovehoney

This one boasts 30 percent more power than the Hitachi Magic Wand. "It is way more powerful than any other vibrator I'd used," reads one review. "I can lay with it alone and have orgasm after orgasm."

I don't mean to imply that sex or masturbation should be a race to orgasm. There's definitely a time and place for your hands and other less time-efficient tactics, as well as sex that doesn't end in climax. But then, there are those nights when you've got to go pick up your dinner before it gets cold — and that's when these definitely come in handy.