Whether you're in a new relationship or have been dating someone for a while, you maybe wondering where things are going. Of course, the more warning signs you get, the better, especially early on so no one wastes their time. For instance, maybe you've been dating someone for a year and think you two are headed toward marriage, but then you find out your partner feels differently and isn't in settling-down mode. Whatever the case may be, there are some interesting questions you should ask your partner that will help you try to predict your relationship's future, or at least give you important questions — and answers — to think about.
"New lovers frequently have the feeling they really understand each other, but after the rosy glow fades, the understanding might fade, too," Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. (aka "Dr. Romance"), psychotherapist, and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together, tells Bustle. "Focusing on what's romantic, sexy, or exciting glosses over the dynamics that will determine whether you can really live happily ever after. From the perspective of counseling many couples, as well as my 36-year very happy marriage, I have found there are certain questions and topics that are the real determinants of whether any given couple can make the transition from falling in love to truly becoming loving partners in the journey of life."
And before you get to the answers, your desire to simply approach certain questions can tell you a lot about the relationship. "As a couple, you can work together to make sure both of you get what you want and need," Dr. Tessina says. "But, if you have no confidence this person can work through differences with you, you'll be reluctant. That's why I tell new couples that if they think saying or doing something honest will screw up the relationship, then screw it up right away, so you can find out if the two of you can get through a rough patch. Couples will face many rough patches in a lifetime, so it's important to find out if you can work through them."
As Dr. Tessina says, asking your partner certain questions can help predict if your relationship will make it or not. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, so take the below to heart. If nothing else, they will give you some things to think about.