7 Sly Ways To Get Someone To Think More About You When You're Not Around

by Kristine Fellizar
BDG Media, Inc.

It's always nice to know that the person you're in a relationship with is thinking about you. But is there a way to stick out more in their mind? How to make someone think of you when you're not around is not about playing games. You don't need to consciously wait a few hours before texting someone back in order to have them wondering what you're up to. You don't even need to "pretend" to be unavailable so they don't know you were hoping for another date with them. If you really want someone to think more about you, according to experts, it's what you do when you're together that actually counts.

A lasting impression is what keeps you on someone's mind, Rori Sassoon, Relationship Expert and CEO of VIP elite matchmaking service Platinum Poire, tells Bustle. When someone enjoyed being around you, "it is infectious and you will be missed."

It doesn't matter if you just met, just started dating, or have been with the person for a long time. Everyone likes being thought of. Luckily, there are some pretty sly and effective ways to get someone to think more about you when you're not around. So here are some of the best ways, according to experts.


Talk To A Mutual Friend About Them

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If you're interested in someone but have yet to be asked out (or ask them out yourself), one of the best ways to get that date is through a third party. "A great way to reinforce that you earnestly like someone is when you talk about your crush to a mutual friend because you know it will get back to them," Sassoon says. "Go ahead and plant a seed of admiration." Knowing they're on your mind, will bring you to their mind.


Always Leave Your Last Conversation On A Positive Note

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Make sure the last communication you had with them is positive, Sassoon says. Then, give them space to breathe. No need to play games — just go about your life and things will progress naturally. "This works because absence makes the heart grow fonder," she says. "You leave them with the time to appreciate your treasured time together."


Keep Them Laughing Even When You're Apart

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Research has shown that sharing laughter is a great way for people to bond. So if you're not together, don't be afraid to send them a funny quote or joke that makes them laugh. "Laughter is the key to the heart," Sassoon says. Bonus points if it's an inside joke just between the two of you.


Hide Secret Notes For Them To Find

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If you want someone to think more about you, Polly Rodriguez, CEO and co-founder of sexual wellness company, Unbound, tells Bustle it's about evoking the feeling you share with each other. "It's not you they should be reminded of, rather, you want to remind them of the feeling you share when you're together," she says. "This is best achieved by thinking of the other person's day and how to make it a bit better." For a "fun and sexy surprise," Rodriguez suggests hiding sexy or thoughtful notes for your partner to find. This way, they'll be reminded of you throughout the day in a way that feels more personal than a text.


Do Something Thoughtful For Them

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Complete your partner’s set of chores without being asked to, Justin Lavelle, dating expert and Chief Communications Officer of online background check platform BeenVerified, tells Bustle. "What better way to show someone you care than by doing [their] chores?" Lavelle says. "No one enjoys having to deal with dirty laundry, taking out the garbage, washing dishes, and vacuuming after a long day at work. Coming home to all of that already taken care of can be one of the most appreciative gestures you can offer and will have them thinking about how thoughtful of a partner you are." If your partner feels loved and cared for through acts of service, this is a really great one to do.


Use Scent To Trigger Memories

Studies have found that scents are pretty powerful and can get woven into long-term memories. For example, if your moisturizer has a distinct scent, it can trigger your partner's memories of you if they smell something similar. A fun way to give your partner a little reminder of you throughout the day is to leave some scent-tied memories behind. Maybe that means spraying your signature scent on their pillow, or buying them the candle you always light when you're together. Either way, scent can be one fun way to help bring you to mind.


Tell Them About A Song That Reminds You Of Them

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"If I told you that you remind me of the second verse of 'Let it Be' by the Beatles, you better believe, you'll be Googling the lyrics or the song, and thinking of me," licensed psychotherapist, Michele M. Paiva, tells Bustle.

It's all about creating a fun memory for them. For instance, you can tell your partner, "If you see a bird today, it's me saying 'Hello!' Although Paiva recognizes that it sounds kind of silly, "these types of triggers actually help your partner to pre-program themselves to actually look for birds and think of you," she says. "The brain is incredible and you can absolutely use this tactic in a fun, light way."

Getting someone to think more about you when you're not around should be fun and you really shouldn't have to do anything extraordinary to make it happen. With a few small gestures, you'll stay on their mind throughout the day.