Erika Jayne Has Teamed Up With This ‘Real Housewives’ Expert For Her Memoir

by Kristie Rohwedder
Nicole Weingart/Bravo

Hi there, fellow Real Housewives devotee. Do you remember when People revealed that Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Erika Girardi had a book in the works? And do you remember how your excitement bubbled and fizzed like a bottle of sparkling rosé that’s been rolling around in the trunk of a moving car for 40 minutes? Well, get ready to feel like two bottles of fizzy sparkling rosé, because the self-appointed Founder of the Real Housewives Institute is co-writing Pretty Mess. In a recent interview with The Huffington Post, Real Housewives expert Brian J. Moylan said he’s ghostwriting Erika Jayne’s forthcoming memoir. Sometimes, special things happen. This is one such special thing.

If your eyes regularly drink in the Bravo recaps Moylan writes for Vulture, then you know why this collaboration is massive: His astute episode analyses, his evocative descriptions of the Bravolebrities, his poetic metaphors, and his Jill Zarin fanfic are all as beautiful as Erika Jayne's leotard collection. And Girardi, as anyone who has watched the last two seasons of RHOBH knows, has been a terrific addition to the cast. She's funny, smart, she’s kind-hearted, she wields expletives with a deft hand, she always looks flawless, and she happens to be a bona fide chart-topping pop star. This pairing is sure to yield a book for the books.

Now, if you aren’t familiar with Moylan’s work, go ahead and give this tribute to Luann de Lesseps’s statement necklace collection a gander. And take a look at this recap of the RHOBH reunion, too. Oh, and be sure to read this ode to Tom Schwartz’s triplet brothers. And finally, do not forget to check out this love letter to Erika Jayne. Those four pieces are only the brilliant tip of the brilliant iceberg that’s actually not made out of ice, but made out of Moylan’s Bravo recaps.

How exactly did the glorious duo of Girardi and Moylan come to be, you ask? Her appreciation for his fine recaps, that's how. When the “XXpen$ive” singer started penning her memoir, she sought Moylan out. “She likes my recaps and had her agent get in touch with me,” the writer told HuffPo. “We’ve been working on that for the past few months and the book should be out in the beginning of the year when RHOBH starts.” She's a fan of his, he's a fan of hers, and every RHOBH fan ought to be a fan of this collaboration.

Published by Simon & Schuster imprint Gallery Books, Pretty Mess is slated to hit the shelves next January. If you’re an Erika Jayne stan — and why wouldn’t you be? — it’ll be required reading. As the Simon & Schuster site teases,

“In Pretty Mess, Erika spills on every aspect of her life: from her rise to fame as a daring and fiery pop/dance performer and singer; to her decision to accept a role on reality television; to the ups and downs of family life (including her marriage to famed lawyer Tom Girardi, thirty-three years her senior). There’s much more to Erika Jayne than fans see on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Pretty Mess is her opportunity to dig deep and tell her many-layered, unique, and inspiring life story.
As fun and fearless as its author, this fascinating memoir proves once and for all why Erika Jayne is so beloved: she’s strong, confident, genuine, and here to tell all!”

An Erika Jayne autobiography that's ghostwritten by Moylan really sounds like something that's too good to be true, but it's actually both good and true.

Once upon a time, RHOBH costar Dorit Kemsley said Girardi was “difficult to read.” (Ugh, so thankful to be done with their Season 7 feud, and so thankful that it’s been months since the word “Pantygate” was uttered on Bravo.) Pretty Mess, on the other hand, is sure to be a delight to read.