How To Know If Someone Loves You, According To Their Actions
If your relationship is strong and brimming with love, you may notice a few things your partner does without hesitation, simply because they want to. Barring a busy schedule — and sometimes even then — they may drop everything to help you out, find ways to be supportive, or do little things to make you happy. And apart from wanting to be a good partner, it can also stem from their strong feelings.
"Your partner’s lack of hesitation to do nice and supportive things is one of the biggest signs of love and commitment because that means they are prioritizing you," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. "This is a sign of a good and loving partner, but it should be a mix of this trait and many other great ones that make a lasting partner."
It'll still be important, for example, that you both maintain your individuality, and do things for yourselves. And, of course, there are lots of other ways to show love, and not all of them have to happen immediately. That said, here are some sweet things your partner will likely do without thinking twice, according to experts, if they're really in love.
1. Help Out During Tough Times
If your partner responds quickly when you need help — even if that just means stepping out of work to call you back — you know you're a top priority to them, Caroline Madden, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author, tells Bustle.
This can pertain to time-sensitive situations where you need help right away, like if your car breaks down and you're stranded. "The thing is when you really, really love someone you want to be there for them," Madden says. "You want them to know that you are there to support them." So don't be surprised if your partner shows up with jumper cables, before you can even blink.
But they also won't hesitate to help out in smaller ways, either, including doing little things every day, just to make your life easier.
2. Be Honest
"There are plenty of key things your partner won't hesitate to do if they're really in love, one of them being honesty," Trombetti says. "It goes without saying that honesty is a key factor to a loving relationship, but showing complete transparency and letting your guard down is one of the most showing factors that they really are in love."
If they do something wrong, they'll want to tell you right away. And if something's bothering them, they'll find a way to bring it up. "It is one of the hardest things for most people to do," Trombetti says. And yet they'll make it a priority, because they know how important honesty is to maintaining a strong relationship.
3. See Things From Your Point Of View
If your partner has your best interests at heart, and really cares for you deeply, then they won't hesitate to see things from your point of view. Or at least try to, even if they disagree.
"Someone who is completely in love with you will allow themselves to take a step back and put your ideas at the forefront," Trombetti says. They'll consider what you're saying not only because your thoughts are important to them, but because they understand being in a loving relationship means both of you need to be fair.
4. Make Time For You
Again, it's important that you both have your own things going on, in terms of hobbies and interests and friends that don't revolve around the relationship. And yet, you'll still want to put each other at the top of your lists.
As Trombetti says, "so many times we see partners putting priorities in front of one another. If you are truly in love with someone, you will never make them a second option!"
This is especially true when it comes to the big stuff, like attending important events together, holiday dinners, birthdays. Your partner won't hesitate to put those things on their calendar, and make them happen, simply because they're important to you.
5. Help When You're Sick
Seeing someone all wrapped up in blankets and surrounded by boogery tissues isn't always easy, and yet a loving partner won't hesitate to march on up to your bedside and attempt to help you feel better. Whether it's bringing you soup, supplying more tissues, or looking for blankets, they'll be on the case.
As Trombetti says, "If they are willing to stick around and bring you back to health when you are at your weakest, they are undoubtedly there because they care and love you."
6. Support Your Dreams
Whether it's your newfound dream of procuring tacos for dinner, or a lifelong dream of going to grad school, your partner will be all about it. "A partner who loves you will always do [their] best to truly support you in pursuing your dreams," Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle.
And this is true even if these dreams seem "out there" or unattainable. "Everyone has dreams and aspirations for life," Bennett says. "Sometimes they might seem far-fetched." But a loving partner won't be the person who drags you down or says you can't do it. Instead, they'll offer support, and maybe even find ways to help along the way.
"A partner who loves and respects you will be willing to make adjustments to their own schedules, forgo certain commitments to meet one of yours, and meet you halfway on big important decisions," Kara Lissy, LCSW, a NYC-based psychotherapist who specializes in relationships and attachment, tells Bustle.
Basically, they'll be willing to compromise. "The key here is that they see you as an ally in decision making rather than someone with whom they need to compete," she says. And that makes it a lot easier for them to open up and be fair.
8. Push You To Be Your Best
"A partner who is in love will always see the best in you and won’t settle for you to see anything less than that in yourself," Lissy says. This is why they support you in your dreams (both big and small). But also while they'll encourage you to do little things on a daily basis, in order to feel good.
"This may show up in the form of them challenging an unhealthy or self-destructive habit of yours, or helping you set up a plan to achieve one of your long-term career goals," Lissy says. Again, it's all about wanting to offer support.
9. Share Their Feelings
One way to know your partner loves you, is if they have a strong desire to open up and share their feelings. After all, "intimacy is a key component of deep, fulfilling romantic love," Lissy says. "Your partner won’t hesitate to be emotionally intimate with you and share important details about how they are feeling when they’re in love with you."
10. Be Reliable
A loving partner won't show up and do things simply because you asked them to, but because they want to, and that can result in them being extremely reliable. They won't forget important dates, or leave you hanging — and if something comes up and they do, they make up for it.
"When we know with certainty that we can rely on someone, it enables us to feel safe and secure," Lissy says. "Your partner will show up when they say they’re going to show up and follow through on important commitments to you, which shows love and respect."
11. Hang Out With Family
If you and your partner enjoy hanging out with family, that's great. But not everyone's guaranteed to like, or even get along, with their family, Bennett says. But a loving partner will grin and bear it, and be as supportive as possible.
For example, they won't leave you hanging when it comes to attending awkward get-togethers or holiday parties, and they'll be there if you need to vent about something your parents said. Of course, there's no need for anyone to suffer through toxic family situations, just to be a good partner. But you might notice yours is down to do whatever they can to help.
These are just a few of the things a loving partner won't hesitate to do. It shows not only how much they want to offer support, but how focused they are on contributing to the overall happiness of your relationship.