How December's Mercury Retrograde Will Affect You If You're Dating Someone New


Although research has found that the holidays are a popular time for breakups, some people are just meeting and, dare I say it, falling in love. Yes, somehow amongst all the stress of the holiday season, family obligations, and work holiday parties that you kind of want to avoid, but also kind of don't just in case your boss gets drunk and starts dancing a la Elaine Benes, there are those who manage to weed through the chaos and let a new relationship begin to bloom. Which, of course, sounds terribly romantic and dreamy... until you toss in the fact that we're in the middle of Mercury Retrograde and we all know that component can really throw things off kilter.

While this particular Mercury Retrograde is in Sagittarius, meaning it's those born under the Sagittarius zodiac sign who are most likely to feel the effects this time around, it doesn't mean the rest of us are going to get off scot-free. We will all, in our own ways, feel the effects of this Mercury Retrograde and because of this, signing contracts, making big decisions, breaking up, and even falling in love can be risky. Naturally, no one decides or choices to fall in love at specific times, as it's not something one can control, but if you do find yourself in a new relationship during this holiday season, here are seven things you absolutely need to know.


You May Not See The Relationship Clearly

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When entering into a new relationship, you want see things clearly — or as clearly as someone newly in love can see things. It's bad enough that we're blinded in those early stages of lust that start a new relationship, so Mercury being in retrograde just adds to that — as does the stressful holiday season. Basically, this could result in missing red flags you might have seen before Mercury Retrograde started or after it. Being aware of the fact that you're doubly blinded right now, is something to take seriously.

"Some say a retrograde planet’s purpose is to link us to past lives and revisit our old karmic issues that need tweaking and, in the best case scenarios, clearing," Jaye at tells Bustle. "Mercury rules the mind and when it’s in reverse (retrograde), it can make life and relationships hazy, but it gives us the opportunity to see things from a different perspective."


You May Second Guess It

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Mercury Retrograde tends to bring on introspection in high doses, which can actually be a saving grace in regards to the fact that you're not seeing things as clearly. However, these moments of reflection can make you second guess this new relationship.

"Mercury rules the mind, mental energy and communication," says Jaye. "When it is in retrograde, it’s main purpose is to temporarily change how we think about things — to help us grow and approach our lives in new and different ways."


You Definitely Want To Take It Slow

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Between your inability to see clearly and your doubts, it only makes sense that you proceed with caution. While it's fun to occasionally throw caution to the wind, this is not the best time to do that. Instead, don't be afraid to take it slow. There's no finish line you need to rush to, so putting on the breaks a bit will actually be a good thing.

"Instead of jumping feet first, take the time for self analyzation, prioritize self-love, and give yourself the space to try fresh approaches in love," suggests Jaye.


Consider This A Testing Period


If you think you can handle it, instead of just taking it slow, you might want to consider keeping it casual. In fact, seeing this as a trial period could actually be a good move for both you and the future of your relationship.

"To use Mercury Retrograde to your advantage," says Jaye, "use these three weeks as a testing ground in this new love combination, to further define what’s important to you and what will truly make you happy."


It Actually Might Be Best To Hold Off On Defining The Relationship


It's hard to ignore the fact that maybe, even if you've met this fantastic, amazing, wonderful human being, and can't wait to start your life with them, you should think about waiting until Mercury Retrograde is over and done with for the year before making things official. We only have a few weeks of it, so it's something to consider if things are getting off to a rocky start. Focusing on you during the chaos of the holidays might be the healthiest move you make.

"While it may not be the most comfortable time, to make the best of any Mercury Retrograde, pay attention to areas in your life where you’re hard on yourself and activate self-love in place of old, negative thoughts," says Jaye. "When the planets move forward again you’ll have created a clear, loving space to view the world from."


Keep Your Faith


As Jaye explains, once Mercury Retrograde is over, "regardless of relationship status, you’ll understand yourself on a whole new level!" And, if there's one thing we've all heard hundreds of times, it's that we can't love and understand someone else until we love and understand ourselves first.

Being told to hold off on starting this new relationship, or take things slower, might be the last thing you want to read, but in the end it will have been worth it — as least according to the stars. As one of my favorite poets, Pablo Neruda, wrote: "Because love cannot always fly without resting," there's nothing wrong with pulling back right now if you're feeling unsure. In fact, it seems to be the less risky choice to make.