January 7, 2018 Will Be Online Dating's Busiest Day of The Year, So Here's How To Have Better Conversations With Your Matches

Ad failed to load

As 2017 comes to an end and we look toward 2018, hoping that it will be better, many people may be examining their relationship. Or, if they're not in a relationship, they might be thinking about what their relationship status goals will be for the New Year. In other words, come January, there will be a whole boatload of people dusting off their online dating profiles and getting back out there — on January 7, 2018 to be exact. At 9 p.m., to be even more exact.

According to Match Group’s dating platform, Plenty of Fish, Sunday, January 7, 2018, is going to be the busiest day of the year when it comes to online dating. Signups for Plenty of Fish that day alone are expected to reach as high as 117,139, which is a 14 percent increase from their usual daily signup rate. That means a lot of extra people for a lot more opportunities to get matched.

But when you do get matched, the next step is figuring out how to have a good conversation. Since the launch of Plenty of Fish's conversation-oriented feature Spark Conversation in July 2017, one of the most common ways to get a conversation going has been to comment on someone's profile. But while anyone can type, "Hey!" the real challenge is in keeping that conversation alive, at least long enough so you can meet in person. Here are some ways to do that.

Ad failed to load

1Just Jump Right In

Ashley Batz/Bustle

As much you might be stressing about what to say once you get a match, it's best to quit dawdling and just go for it. Sometimes thinking too much can be a bad thing, especially in regards to online dating.

"It's best to jump right in without a formal salutation or greeting," Dating Coach and Licensed Counselor, Samantha Burns, tells Bustle. "So skip over the 'hellos' and 'how are you?' and go right for a comment or question."

2Tell Them What's Going On In Your Life

Hannah Burton/Bustle

If you start with something a bit more exciting that will initiate conversation, you can always ask how their day is going later on in the message, that is, if you're really hellbent on asking that question for some reason.

"The worst thing you can do is have a boring conversation in which you say, 'Hey, how's your day,' and the generic response is, 'good, you?' This is like a lame throw back to 'Hey, wuz up? 'NM, U? on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger for all you young millennials) where you're making it difficult for the other person to find common ground or something to chat about," says Burns. "Give [them] something easy to grasp onto by saying something fun and light currently going on in your life, like the fact that it's Taco Tuesday at work and you're so excited, or about shared interests evident from your profiles."

3Don't Get Too Serious Early In The Game

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

If you really put the time and effort into your online dating profile to convey who you truly are, you can avoid serious conversations because it's all there.

"You don't want to be having deep and serious conversations via message or text," says Burns. "That's why it's important you take the time to create a thoughtful and genuine profile so that people get a sense of what's most important to you, or what you're looking for, whether it's a serious committed relationship or casual dating — a lot can be interpreted from what you chose to write or leave out. That way you only need to exchange a few messages before moving offline to either an in-person date, or a phone call if you're still on the fence."

Ad failed to load

4Avoid Substantial Topics


As those of us who read "Cat Person" in The New Yorker know, texting can definitely confuse your feelings about someone and maybe even create something that's not quite there yet. As Burns advises, you want to wait on the real substance so as to avoid having your balloon of high (and false) expectations popped when you first meet. You'll have plenty of time to get to the nitty-gritty when you meet in person.

"Messaging and texting about everything can create a false sense of intimacy and set your expectations too high, only to fall flat when there's no chemistry in person," says Burns. "It's important to wait to talk about substantial topics, such as learning about each other's passions and interests, families, core values, past relationships, and what you're looking for in a partner until you're on a real date."

If you're thinking about blowing off all your plans on January 7 so you can stay in and focus on your online dating, then consider these tips. And if you want to make it to the stage of dating where you're meeting up IRL more, then working on your online conversation skills is the perfect place to start.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Everything Leaving & Coming To Netflix In March, So You Can Plan Your Next Marathon Now

Even though the groundhog saw his shadow — forecasting six more weeks of winter — a nice spring thaw is already on everyone's minds. Fortunately, Netflix has things squared away for March. Whether you're ready to cozy up in front of a fire or get you…
By Sophy Ziss

11 Thoughts That Mean You’re Not As Happy With Your Partner As You Might Think

Even if your current dating situation seems to be going well — you're hanging out, having fun, having sex, etc. — it's still possible that you might not be happy with your partner, and thus not truly happy in your relationship. This can be a gut feel…
By Carolyn Steber

25 Book Recommendations From Your Favorite TV Characters

Although the two may seem like natural enemies, the truth is, television and reading are a match made in bibliophile heaven. Not only are some of the best shows based on or inspired by literature, but whenever you turn on the tube you can be sure to …
By Sadie Trombetta

It Took Heather Graham YEARS To Make A Movie About Women Ditching Toxic Men. The Reason? Men.

They say you should write what you know. But in Hollywood, that age-old advice apparently needs an addendum: Write what you know — as long as men are into it. And for actor and newly minted director/screenwriter Heather Graham — a woman who swam thro…
By Kelsea Stahler

Bustle Editors On CPAC + 'Making A Murderer'

Adulthood is, essentially, just waiting until the weekend hits — which is why I know we're all glad it's finally Friday. Whether your plans are to catch up on all the Netflix content that'll be leaving the platform at the end of February, a weekend g…
By Danielle Colin-Thome

7 Signs Your Energy Is Closed Off To Love, According To A Psychic

Finding love requires more than just the actions of going on dates or setting up an online dating profile. It also requires opening yourself up to love and giving off the vibe that you're open. You may not even realize it if you're energetically bloc…
By Suzannah Weiss

Target Just Launched A Gorgeous New Home Brand — And Most Pieces Are Under $30

Design lovers rejoice! Everyone's favorite store for pretty much everything is about to make all your daring decorating dreams come true. Today, Target's corporate blog issued a press release that provides a peek into Target's new homeware line, Opal…
By Callie Tansill-Suddath

17 Brilliant Ways To Support Parkland Survivors Wherever You Are

Following the massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, survivors are demanding Congress take action. A large group of students who survived the shooting are opposing politicians' "thoughts and prayers," arguing that inst…
By Sarah Beauchamp

Here's Where Your Next Trip Should Be, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

If you've been craving a vacation, now is a good time to take the plunge. According to data collected by travel site Expedia, late winters and early spring are pretty much the best times of the year to go on vacation. Based on average airfare ticket …
By Callie Tansill-Suddath

How This Quadriplegic Beauty Lover Beat Cancer & Became A Professional Makeup Artist

In 2010, one day before she was supposed to start cosmetology school, Steph Aiello was involved in a car crash that left her paralyzed from the waist down with limited ability to move her hands and one of her closest friends dead. She would spend the…
By Sara Tan

7 Common Marriage Rules That Aren't Good For Relationships

When it comes to marriage, everyone loves to give their two cents, and with all the warnings and advice floating around out there, no wonder people find marriage intimidating. Luckily, you don't always have to play by the rules, and there's some bad …
By Carina Wolff

The Infuriating Way Hollywood Movie Sets Are Designed To Make Life Harder For Women

Whitney Cummings is fed up — with the way Hollywood treats women, and in particular, the way the it treats female directors who have children. While the entertainment industry may be working hard to get more women behind the camera, Cummings wants to…
By Casey Cipriani

Why Uggs Are Never Going Away, Whether You Like Them Or Not

Uggs. The word alone can conjure up memories of teenage years, regrettable outfits, and undeniable comfort. But if, like me, you thought that you've already said goodbye to those fleece-lined tan boots, you can think again. It seems fashion has adopt…
By Lauren Sharkey

Netflix's New Romantic Movie Will Have You Crying Like It's 'The Fault In Our Stars'

Cancer movies are a heartbreaking staple of Hollywood and have been for decades. It's almost a law of nature: new year, new cancer movie. This year, it's Netflix's Irreplaceable You, a heartbreaking original about a longtime couple who get thrown for…
By Olivia Truffaut-Wong

I Got A Breast Reduction & It Was About So Much More Than The Size Of My Boobs

As a young teenager, I pretty much reached peak physical maturity overnight. One day I was wearing my first training bra a la Lizzie McGuire, and the next I was sweatily fumbling around a Victoria’s Secret with 32DD boobs, trying to summon up the cou…
By Sierra Taylor Horton

Adam Rippon and Mirai Nagasu Have Matching Tattoos & The Story Is So Cute

Olympic season gives people the feels. From those shipping Canadian ice dancing pair Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir to Shaun White's gold medal win on Tuesday, the feels are real. Now, there's another reason to get all up in your emotions. Adam Rippon a…
By Shea Simmons

A New Study Says Being In A Relationship Could Change Your Taste In Wine — Here's How

I’d be willing to bet that for many of you, a nice bottle of wine is awaiting you in your near future — and if you’re planning on sharing that bottle with a partner, there might be more to your choice than meets the eye: According to recent research,…
By Lucia Peters

Carrie Brownstein On Why Even The Obama Era Should Have Enraged You

An icy January morning soon after Hollywood's show of solidarity for the #MeToo movement at the Golden Globes and almost exactly one year into the Trump Administration feels like a momentous time to be sitting across from Carrie Brownstein. The Sleat…
By Samantha Rollins

Here’s What The Upcoming Year Of The Dog Means For Your Chinese Zodiac Sign

On Feb. 16 the world will celebrate the Chinese New Year, welcoming the Year of the Dog in like the good doggo it is — we hope. A new year means new zodiac predictions for the 365 days ahead. So, what does the Year of the Dog mean for your Chinese zo…
By Brittany Bennett

7 Signs You're Ready To Get Into A Relationship, According To Experts

It can be difficult to tell when you're ready to start dating again. Maybe you're coming off of a bad breakup, maybe you've just been focused on other things. And, ironically, one of the signs that you're ready to be in a relationship is that you're …
By Lea Rose Emery

The 15 Best Fiction Books Of February Feature Tons Of Extraordinary Women

When the cold winds of February blow in, there's nothing I want more than to hide under my covers with a good book. Luckily, there's more than a few fantastic new fiction books coming out this month, so the only tough decision you'll have to make is …
By Melissa Ragsdale