Listen — I know that society has this whole cliché about every little girl dreaming about becoming a princess, and while that is a totally valid desire and everyone should follow their bliss, I think a lot of us would also argue that we grew up dreaming primarily about nachos. This fantasy is extremely relevant today, because the internet just unearthed that the true fairy tale of Meghan Markle's life lies not in her ties to royalty, but in the blissful, salty crunch of tortilla chips. Look no further than this Tostitos commercial featuring a young Meghan Markle from 2009 if you need proof.
Honesty hour, do you even remember 2009? Let me take you back for a hot second: it was a time when we were still making Harry Potter movies from the original books. A time when most of us were still texting from keypads. A time when college campuses were a sea of Northfaces and skinny jeans tucked into Ugg boots. Now that you're properly primed to remember the era, picture this: Meghan Markle, pre-Suits fame, pre-royal engagement, even pre-The Tig, her old lifestyle website that I definitely spend an embarrassing number of hours reading the web archives for (what is the point of having an American millennial princess if we're not going to drink exactly like her??). Because before the glitz and the glamour and the people tweeting about her past dabbling in calligraphy, she starred in a Tostitos commercial that is, frankly, iconic.
The ad was recently unearthed by various YouTube accounts, but has gained some traction after it aired on today's episode of the Today show.
THOSE FACES! THAT VIBE! I've never experienced such a rollercoaster of emotions in a fictional grocery aisle before, but trust Meghan to take me there, y'all.
And now, a dramatic retelling.
"Thirteen ingredients?" says the narrator, in a voice that is (criminally!!) not Meghan Markle's. "That's more people than I invited to the party. Unless ... Denise brings Gary. Ugh, Gary. With his short shorts."
(Side note: how dare Tostitos besmirch the honorable mayor of Pawnee, Indiana.)
Then Meghan picks up the Tostitos bag, and the non-Meghan voice says, "White corn, vegetable oil, and salt. Yeah. Three ingredients is good."
So, in summation, I'm not sure if this ad is trying to promote chips with fewer ingredients or throwing parties with fewer people (a tip that Meghan Markle may need, considering how many people are scrambling for royal wedding invitations), but I do know that it just made me weirdly hungry for chips at 10:30 in the morning. So clearly Meghan did her job.
Given how long Meghan's been in the acting biz, this is, of course, far from her only commercial. A quick search on YouTube pulls up a ton more — commercials where she even gets to speak in her own human voice! Like this Lexus ad, where we see Meghan's true foodie passion shine:
And this gem of an ad from Reitman jeans, where Meghan low key flirts with her own window clone (same, girl, same).
But the most iconic video on the internet involving Meghan Markle and commercials has already gone mega viral, and for good reason — it features an 11-year-old Meghan Markle speaking out against a sexist ad for Ivory soap, which boasted that "women all over America" were using it. Markle wrote to Proctor & Gamble about the ad, saying, "So I was wondering if you would be able to change your commercial to 'people all over America?'" Not only did Proctor & Gamble change the ad, but we have this iconic video of Meghan talking about it on Nickelodeon to boot.
NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR MY PRINCESS!
Anyway, that 2009 commercial is arguably the best investment Tostitos ever made, because you can bet your bottom dollar I am now serving Tostitos at every royal wedding-themed party I am having between now and May 19 (which, to be clear, is a lot). Raise a chip to Meghan and Harry, y'all, and all 600 of their ingredients — er, I mean guests.