Life
It's easy to look at other people's relationships and feel like yours is lacking in many ways. But the reality is, you can never truly know what's going on in a relationship unless it's your own. As numerous relationship surveys have found throughout the years, there are a lot of surprising things people do in their relationships. Many of which, people don't openly talk about.
"In world lived out on social media, not all relationships are as they seem," Dr. Catherine Jackson, licensed psychologist and board certified neurotherapist, tells Bustle. "Most couples post the best of their relationships online and share details about the most magnificent things their partner does. However, a lot of other things go on in relationships that many couples never share or speak about."
Fortunately, people have been conducting studies for years to find out what really goes on behind closed doors and what people really think about their relationships. For instance, a 2018 survey by UK-based relationship support charity Relate, found that over 50 percent of millennials say they pretend their relationship is better than it actually is. Just over 40 percent even admit to using social media to make their relationship look "perfect."
The reality is, no relationship is perfect. As surveys have found, people do some pretty surprising and sometimes questionable things whether it's with or without their partner's knowledge. So here are some things one in three people do in their relationships, according to studies.
1
Keep Their Salary A Secret
When you're looking to spend the rest of your life with someone, money matters should be discussed openly and honestly. It's even more important when you're actually living with your partner. But as a 2018 report from personal finance resource, Bankrate, found many people don't tell their partners how much they make. In fact, nearly a third of people who live with their partner keep their salary information to themselves. That amount doubled for people who are dating, but not living together.
2
Forget Their Partner's Birthday
A 2018 survey conducted by OnePoll and Evite found that one in three people say they've forgotten their partner's birthday. As it turns out, men are more likely to do this than women. According to the survey of over 2,000 adults, 52 percent of men say they've forgotten their partner's birthday while only 24 percent of women could say the same. The survey also found that one in five people got into a fight over a forgotten birthday and 12 percent have actually broken up over it.
3
Spy On Their Partner's Social Media Accounts
Trust is important to have in your relationship if you want it to work. But as a 2019 report by London-based lawyers Hodge Jones & Allen found, one in three people admit to spying on their partner's social media accounts to make sure nothing shady is going on. More than 40 percent even admitted to looking through their partner's phones to make sure they're not cheating.
4
Learn About A New Partner's Sexual History Within The First Month Of Dating
How many people your partner has slept with before you shouldn't really matter if everything else seems to line up. But as a 2015 survey by Lovehoney survey found, some people really do care. Lovehoney looked into the sex lives of over 6,000 adults and found that women tend to be much more concerned over a new partner's sexual past than men. In fact, over a third of women want to know about their partner's sexual history within the first month of dating. For 27 percent of women, they believe a person's sexual past can determine whether or not they'll make a good partner overall.
5
Revenge Cheat
People will cheat for a number of reasons. But as a 2018 survey by IllicitEncounters.com found, one in three people will cheat as a form of revenge. The survey of over 1,000 people even found that women are more likely to do it more than men.
6
Use Technology To Amp Up Their Sex Life
Some may argue that technology and social media are ruining relationships today. But as a large sex survey conducted by Dazed Digital found, over a third of people say technology has made their sex lives "more erotic." Nearly 50 percent of people say they send sexy selfies, while 34 percent say they've filmed themselves having sex and would do it again.
7
Delay A Breakup Due To Debt
It's no surprise that money is a big reason why many couples end up getting divorced. In fact, LearnVest’s 2017 Money Habits & Confessions Survey found that over a third of millenials have broken up with a partner due to money issues. But a 2018 survey by Lending Tree's Student Loan Hero found, more than a third of people with student loan debt choose to delay a divorce because it's just too expensive.
Surveys like these are pretty interesting because they shed a light on how people really act in their relationships. It also proves that nothing is really "weird" when it comes to relationships. Even if you think you're the only one who does a certain thing, chances are, you're not.
