The 8 Best Sex Positions For When You're Tired Or Lazy
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto this week’s topic: the best lazy sex positions.
Q: “My partner and I love having wild, explosive sex. But sometimes I just feel lazy and sleepy and get home after a long night out and don’t want to put in all of that effort. I still want to be intimate, but I also want to take it easy. What are some good sex positions for when you’re tired, sleepy, lazy, or drunk?"
A: Thanks for the question! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with craving some low-intensity, low-effort sex. Lazy sex can feel just as fulfilling as intense sex, and it can be a really refreshing change of pace to take things slower, or incorporate 69 positions.
In fact, SKYN Condoms' 2019 Sex & Intimacy Survey of 2,000 people ages 18 to 38 in the U.S. and Canada, revealed that the top sex positions aren't anything fancy or acrobatic. Fifty-seven percent of survey participants rated doggy style as their favorite sex position and 46% stuck by the classic missionary position. So if you don't feel like preparing for a marathon before getting down, you are definitely not alone.
How To Do It: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. Lift your top leg, and have your partner enter you. Once they’re in, lower your leg and scoot your butt closer to their crotch. If it feels like they’re slipping out too much, you can change the angle by bending forward at the waist.
Why It Works: Both of you get to relax in this super comfy position, slowly grinding away.
For Peak Relaxation: Take turns being the one in charge of the movement. You can tease each other by seeing how slow you can go, or by seeing how small you can keep your movements.
2. Seated Oral
How To Do It: Sit on a comfy sofa or chair. Have your partner sit on the ground cross-legged in front of you, with a pillow under their body for extra cushiness. They perform oral on you.
Why It Works: Receiving oral sex is about as easy as it gets, but this position makes it easier on your partner, too. Most people perform oral while lying down on their stomachs on the bed, which can be a really uncomfortable position (hello, stiff neck). This position is much more enjoyable.
For Peak Relaxation: Try this position out on a bed. Your partner gets to stay seated, and you can sprawl out on your back. (Definite risk of falling asleep here, though.)
How To Do It: Have your partner sit up, with their legs crossed or outstretched. Straddle your partner, facing them, and lower yourself onto their penis or dildo. Sit in their lap, and wrap your legs around their body.
Why It Works: You can’t move around that much in this position, which makes it great for lazy sex. Fortunately, even the most subtle grinding can feel great. It’s a really sweet and intimate position.
For Peak Relaxation: Take a page from Tantric sex and practice breathing with each other and making eye contact. Try squeezing your PC muscles, and pulling your partner even deeper into you.
How To Do It: This is similar to Side-by-Side, only your leg is up. Both of you lie on your sides, facing each other. Lift your top leg, and have your partner enter you. You can rest your ankle on top of your partner’s ankle, or keep your legs closed.
Why It Works: You may have to change the angles of your bodies and the positioning of your legs to find the right fit, but once you’re in, it’s easy to gently rock back and forth. This is another incredibly romantic and sensual position.
For Peak Relaxation: Try draping your top leg over your partner’s body. You can pull them deeper into you simply by squeezing your leg tighter.
5. Side 69
How To Do It: Lay on your sides, facing each other, but with the opposite head-to-toe orientation. Your partner’s head should be in your crotch region, and their head should be in yours. Both of you can go to town on each other with your mouths and hands.
Why It Works: Traditional 69 positions can be tough for the partner on top. You’re precariously balanced in the air, trying to focus on giving, receiving, and not falling over. This version is much easier on both parties.
For Peak Relaxation: Bend your top leg, and rest the weight on your foot. Your partner can do the same. This will allow more access while you perform oral on each other.
6. Sofa Straddle
How To Do It: Have your partner sit on the sofa. Straddle your partner, facing them. Lower down onto your knees. Hold onto their shoulders or the back of the sofa for leverage.
Why It Works: Like in Lotus, even the most subtle grinding feels amazing. This position basically feels like a super sexy cuddle sesh.
For Peak Relaxation: Have your partner fully recline against the sofa, so you can fully recline against their chest. Or see if you can actually lean your head over their shoulder, onto the back of the sofa.
7. Mutual Masturbation
How To Do It: Easy peasy. Lay down in bed together and do your thing as you normally would when you’re on your own!
Why It Works: Most of us already have our lazy masturbation routines down pat. This position requires minimal effort, but it’s something that not a ton of couples do together. Tenga's 2019 Self-Pleasure report, which surveyed 10,000 men and women across nine countries, revealed that 91% of American men say they masturbate and 78% of American women say they masturbate — so there's a pretty good chance your partner does, too. Why not do it together? It's low-effort and pleasurable, but will still feel novel and exciting.
For Peak Relaxation: Let a vibrator do all of the work for you!
8. Sofa Doggy
How To Do It: Kneel on your sofa, facing the back of the sofa. Drape the top of your body over the back of the sofa. Have your partner stand behind you and enter you.
Why It Works: You’re essentially lying on top of one of the cushiest surfaces in your home. Nuff said.
For Peak Relaxation: Bend over so you can rest your head on the top of the sofa. Just try not to fall asleep!
This article was originally published on