In Beverly Hills, the Real Housewives taglines are an enigma wrapped in diamonds and rosé. On Monday, Entertainment Tonight shared The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 9 taglines that will greet us at the top of every new episode, and not a moment too soon. This year’s batch of RHOBH zingers has everything you could want and more: a very Rinna pun, allusions to fame and fortune, a humble request to all backstabbers, and, of course, a shoutout to the 90210.
Season 9 of the Beverly Hills edition of Real Housewives will premiere on Tuesday, Feb. 12, and Bravo heads have been looking forward to this day ever since the Season 9 trailer kicked open the doors to the internet and made itself right at home like a swan in the Villa Rosa moat. It's the moment fans have been waiting for ever since the first whispers regarding what may or may not have happened after Dorit Kemsley supposedly rescued a dog from Vanderpump Dogs. The moment fans have been waiting for ever since the returns of Brandi Glanville and Kim Richards were confirmed. The moment fans have been waiting for since Denise Richards officially joined the cast. And, of course, it's the moment fans have been waiting for ever since word got out that Lisa Vanderpump was feuding with basically all of her RHOBH co-stars.
Suffice to say, there is a lot of buzz surrounding this show's return. But before we get to Tuesday evening's wildly anticipated premiere, here are some taglines to keep our ravenous appetites at bay.
“In The Game Of Life, It’s Rinna Take All.” — Lisa Rinna
Rinna’s tagline sure owns it, baby.
“Most People Talk About Their Fantasies. I’m Living Mine.” — Erika Jayne
And those fantasies aren’t ice. They’re diamonds.
“In Business And In Life, I Wear Many Hats… And Hairstyles.” — Dorit Kemsley
Oooh, it sounds like we’re in for another season of fantastic talking head looks from Dorit.
“You Can Stab Me In The Back, But Whilst You’re There, Kiss My A**.” — Lisa Vanderpump
LVP embraces any and all backstabbers, invites them to kiss her behind, and gives us a “whilst.” Whoa, this tagline is not playing around. This tagline is not here to make friends. This tagline wants everyone to know Season 9 is probably going to be messier than a fight in the SUR back alley.
“I’m Not Afraid Of Hard Work, But I’ll Never Do Your Dirty Work.” — Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave
The accountability coach is here to hold us accountable for our metaphorical and literal trash.
“My Problem With The Tabloids? My Real Life Is So Much Juicier.” — Denise Richards
More juice, you say? Let the cup runneth over. It's a terrific source of vitamins and scuttlebutt.
“In Beverly Hills, The Truth Always Has A Way Of Rising To The Top.” — Kyle Richards
A Kyle Richards tagline that doesn’t take a moment to highlight her hometown just doesn’t feel right. (You need look no further than the taglines she gave us in Seasons 5 and 7.) So glad Season 9’s keeping this grand tradition alive.
In the game of Real Housewives, it's taglines take all.