Ask any astrologer and you'll quickly learn there are light and dark sides to each zodiac sign. The light side is what we talk about when we examine our glowing personality traits, what makes us most lovable, and our favorite ways to show affection. But there's also the darker side of the spectrum, which includes
the most annoying thing about your partner.
"Every zodiac sign has its highs and its lows,"
astrologer Valerie Mesa tells Bustle. Although some signs are known to have more negative traits to others, Mesa says that these traits are often subjective, and depending on your own sign, your partner's traits may affect you differently.
In other words, depending on how your sign meshes with your partner's, their traits can seem frustrating — or totally NBD. It's all based on personal interpretation, Mesa says. And it's also important to note that zodiac characteristics don't always apply to everyone — while you might identify with your sign in certain respects, you may not see your traits in others. This can also go for your partner's sign, especially for those traits the zodiac identifies as annoying.
But if you're curious about what the stars say about your partner's quirks and individual qualities, zodiac predictions can serve as a guide. Here is your partner's most frustrating quality according to astrologers, how it can affect your relationship, and what you can do about it.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
If you're dating an Aries, have you ever noticed how it seems like they secretly enjoy arguments, or look forward to heated debates? If so, you might be on to something.
"It doesn't take the ram very long to get worked up," Mesa says. They may be quick to start arguments, or get a bit heated during them. If this sounds like your partner, it isn't the end of the world. Developing strategies that allow your partner to know when they may be getting out of hand in an argument can help, as well as
tools to fight fair when arguing does happen.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
The homebody of the zodiac, a Taurus is known to be incredibly stubborn. "Slow and steady wins the race, said every Taurus ever. This earth sign is patient and determined; hence their stubborn personality," Mesa says.
If you constantly feel like you're dragging your Taurus partner around, or reminding them to do things, it may take a toll on your relationship. So, in order to make things better, remind them that
a relationship is a partnership, and that you both need to contribute.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
If your partner is a Gemini, you might notice that they often pause, as if listening to voices in their head. And they may be. "Ruled by Mercury the messenger ... a Gemini's mind never stops," says Mesa. If this results in poor communication,
certain tactics that will help your partner out of their head, like trying something new together, or setting aside time to discuss things, can help your partner focus.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Have you ever walked into a dark room and found your partner crying over the cutest kitten YouTube video you ever did see? If so, you might used to
this outpouring of emotion. But that's typical of Cancer, astrologists say.
"Cancer is incredibly receptive and totally sensitive to their environment," Mesa says. "Anything and everything can make the crab shed a tear — they simply can't help it. From commercials to a childhood memory, it [can lead to] water works." So
make sure you're being extra supportive, as their partner. Cancer often needs a shoulder to cry on, and that's totally OK.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
If you aren't used to it, it may seem odd that your Leo parter is always "on," almost as if they're in a play and the world is their stage. "The star of the show and zodiac royalty, Leo is always ready for their big debut," Mesa says. "As a matter a fact, this fire sign is almost always in character. They shamelessly channel different characters from their favorite movies, and if you're lucky, they will fight you with their favorite accent." While it may seem a tad over-the-top, it's important to
accept your partner for who they are, and letting Leo have their moment will help them feel loved and supported.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
The frustrating thing about your Virgo partner? They are almost over-prepared for every situation. For example, they might have an almost endless stockpile of vitamins and drugs, and can cater to your every health need. (But seriously, where do they get it all from?)
As Mesa says, "This earth sign is constantly avoiding germs, washing their hands, and working diligently to boost their immune system." Of course this isn't the case for every Virgo, but if you notice your Virgo partner
obsessing in a seemingly unhealthy way about germs, it may be best to talk with them and show your support about seeking help from a therapist.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra can be difficult to read, as they have an ever-changing personality. "Those born under the sign of the scales mirror their surroundings, often unconsciously," says Mesa. "Their chameleon-like personalities morph accordingly, which is another reason why this air sign isn't the easiest to read."
If this is your partner, avoid any potential misunderstandings by keeping lines of communication open. If
your partner shares more about what they're thinking — instead of keeping it to themselves — you might feel less blindsided.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Astrologers classify Scorpio folks as pretty dark when it comes to the way they view the world, often feeling hints of jealousy, distrust, and suspicion. They are also known to be highly pessimistic. "They often treat everyone like a suspect until they’re proven innocent," Jaye, an astrologer at
Gifted Astrology, tells Bustle. "That’s a Scorpio POV."
While not every Scorpio is this way — and there are plenty of Scorpios who are trusting people — it's important to nip this issue in the bud early on if it may be something that will affect your relationship. Sometimes, seeing a therapist or talking with loved ons can help
someone who has trust issues, so they can learn how to open up and be accepting.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius may have a difficult time admitting when they're at fault. "And if they do finally fess up, you’ll walk away wondering if they were really being sincere," Jaye says. That's just the way they tick, astrologers say, and that's OK.
But if it's starting to cause problems in your relationship, it can help to have a debriefing session after arguments, where you go over what went wrong. By arguing and
apologizing in a healthier way, you can avoid this tendency.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn, for all their glowing, hard-working qualities, can be a bit controlling of the people in their lives. And as Jaye says, "Sometimes they don’t even know what or why they want to control, they just want to control it."
But if your partner's controlling nature is taking a toll on you, don't be afraid to speak up. While they may not know they're doing it, a partner who is being intentionally controlling
can potentially be emotionally abusive, and that is not a healthy situation to remain in.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Dating an Aquarius can be super fun, because they're all about adventure — they're always leading you off on last-minute getaways, and weekend trips. But Aquarius can also be quite closed off and cold, astrologers say. "They can dissociate way too easily," Jaye says. "Connections and empathy can come and go — with emotionless precision." That's why Aquarius folks are another one you need to communicate with constantly, so that you both be on the same page.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
As you know, Pisces can be empathetic, loving people. But they might also hide behind a "mask," Jaye says, and that can make it feel like your partner is hiding something. Pisces can also take a while to figure themselves out, and they often spend many years testing out different "personalities."
If you feel like you aren't connecting with your partner, or like you don't fully know them, try asking
questions that'll bond you together, such as "how are you feeling about our relationship?" Once they get to talking, and sharing how they really feel, the whole dynamic of your relationship will feel better.
Keep in mind, though, that what makes someone frustrating is totally subjective. And not everyone fits their zodiac sign perfectly. If your partner does have a few traits that make your relationship difficult, though, don't be afraid to speak up and figure out how you can work on them together.