The “2-2-2 Rule” Is The Easiest Way To Spice Up Your Relationship

Getting cozy with your partner is one of the best things about being in a long-term relationship. You know you’re in love when you don’t mind staying in on Friday nights, watching the same shows over and over, and falling into a predictable weekly routine.

It feels good to find a rhythm as a couple, but over time, it could potentially lead to a sense of boredom, and it might even cause you to lose your spark. To keep their relationships happy, exciting, and healthy, many couples are practicing the 2-2-2 rule, which is currently going viral on TikTok.

On the app, creator @gem_raye showed herself getting ready for a date, which is something she does every two weeks with her fiancé — without fail. “We practice the 2-2-2 rule,” she said in the clip. “So that’s a date every two weeks, a weekend away every two months, and a [vacation] every two years.”

They take turns organizing the dates and surprising one another, and feel that it’s an important part of what keeps their connection strong. At the time the TikTok was posted, they had already been practicing the 2-2-2 rule for six months, and she noted how it really did keep things exciting. This trick is so simple, yet it seems to work like a charm. Here, a therapist explains why.

The Magic Of The 2-2-2 Rule

According to Rebecca Howard Eudy, Ph.D. LMHC, a sex therapist, licensed mental health counselor, and couples therapist, it’s incredibly common for couples to fall into a rut, especially after they’ve been together for a few years.

“It can show up as stress, boredom, irritability, lack of time, or losing sight of making the relationship a priority,” she tells Bustle. “Sometimes it feels like ships passing in the night.” In other words? Instead of connecting and enjoying each other’s company, you end up just going through the motions. The 2-2-2 rule is one way to prevent this from happening.

“I think it’s pretty brilliant to have guidelines like this, and any couple would benefit from it,” she says of the viral hack. “Too often, we treat our relationships like low-maintenance cactuses, expecting them to thrive with little attention while we focus on everything else. The 2-2-2 rule is a way to build in some intentional care and remind each other that the relationship matters.”

On TikTok, creator @blissful.kristen said she stopped going on dates with her partner because they both have busy schedules and work full-time. When they decided to try the 2-2-2 rule, it had been a whole year since they last went out. “I really want to go on more dates, and he does, too,” she said in the clip, before saying she hoped it would make a big difference.

According to Eudy, it will. Implementing this rule in your relationship instantly makes you prioritize one another. It also sends the message that you care, you’re still in love, and you’re ready to reconnect. “That alone can shift things,” she says. “On top of that, having regular touchstones to look forward to helps couples stay connected and feel like they matter to each other.”

How To Practice The 2-2-2 Rule

Another great thing about the 2-2-2 rule? It’s completely customizable. “It can be as simple or as creative as you make it,” Eudy says. Every two weeks could be a date night at home with takeout or a fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant. Every two months could be a staycation at a local B&B or a weekend road trip. And every two years, you could drive an hour away to the beach or fly abroad for a romantic weekend in Paris.

“It may not be realistic for all couples, especially those on a tight budget or without family support, but [this hack] can be adapted,” she says. To make it happen, Eudy recommends treating your dates and trips like appointments. “Decide what’s realistic for your life, put it on the calendar, and follow through,” she adds.

Talking about it and making the 2-2-2 rule a goal to work toward can also be fun, even if you have to start slow. As Eudy says, “It’s less about the exact frequency and more about the commitment to prioritize your relationship.”

Source:

Rebecca Howard Eudy, Ph.D. LMHC, sex therapist, licensed mental health counselor, couples therapist