Sex & Relationships
Time to properly embrace sleepy sex.
Humans can be chock full of conflicting emotions. We want to go to yoga, but we also want to sleep in. We want to make dinner, but we also really love take-out. And we often want to have sex but are tired at the same time — you know, that lazy in-between where you don’t really feel like leaving the duvet, but you're still in the mood.
Well, fear not. While it might be tough to muster the strength to go to yoga, you can definitely have great sex, even when you're out of energy. In fact, sleepy sex can still be great sex, Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and relationship coach, tells Bustle, especially since fatigue often takes the pressure off of performing.
When you're in a "hazy," half-awake state, she says sex can feel extra intimate, as you'll be focused on the sensations more than anything else. Of course, it's important to think about the sex positions that'll be easiest to do, too. To properly embrace sleepy sex, you won't want to be flailing around or maneuvering in a way that requires a lot of strength or effort.
Luckily, there are plenty of options that are perfect for a lazy Sunday morning or a late-night romp. Here are the best positions to try, that won't require you and your partner to get out from under the covers.
1
Missionary
How To Do It: With your partner on top, relax on your back with your legs slightly spread. Play around with different angles — like putting your legs closer together or further apart — to get more or less clitoral stimulation.
Why It Works: If your partner isn't as tired, they can provide most of the motion, while you close your eyes and enjoy. Missionary is also great when you want to pull the blankets over you, to stay warm.
2
Spooning
How To Do It: Get into a comfy spooning position, with your partner behind you. Position your hips slightly higher up than theirs — and use plenty of lube. Swirl your hips gently, and enjoy pressing against each other.
Why It Works: It's a position you can easily get into, without having to expend much energy. You'll also feel really warm and close while still experiencing moments of intensity, especially if you aim for some clitoral stimulation.
3
Face-To-Face
How To Do It: Face each other in bed and hook your top leg over your partner's hips, then pull them close while you guide them inside you. Use lube — or place a pillow under your hip — to find the right angle.
Why It Works: If spooning doesn’t feel intimate enough for you, this position might do the trick. It’s perfect for connecting with your partner — or for spicing things up with dirty talk — but you both get to be super comfortable.
4
The Plow
How To Do It: Get into the traditional missionary position, then have your partner lift one of your legs onto their shoulder. If that feels comfortable, bring up the other leg to match.
Why It Works: Just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you have to miss out on intensity. This position allows for super deep penetration, while still being surprisingly relaxing. Talk about the best of both worlds.
5
The Cross
How To Do It: While your partner curls up on their side, get on your back perpendicular to them, and rest your legs over their hips. Shimmy down and help guide them inside you.
Why It Works: This unusual position allows both you and your partner to remain lying down, while still mixing things up. You'll have a nice view of each other, plus easy access for great clitoral stimulation. And you can even pull out a favorite vibrator, and let that do most of the work.
6
Woman On Top
How To Do It: With your partner leaning back against the couch or headboard, swing a leg over and straddle them. They can lift their knees up to help hold you and bring you closer. If you'd like, you can even lean forward against the wall, for extra support.
Why It Works: This is a great position to relax into, but you still get to be in control. It’s intimate and intense — you can grind or bounce as much to your heart's content — but it’s less effort than traditional cowgirl, making it perfect for a lazy morning.
7
Side 69
How To Do It: Cozy up next to each other on your sides, while lying head-to-toe. Part your legs so your partner can rest their head on your lower thigh, while you do the same. Then proceed to have oral sex. (If your neck starts to hurt, place a pillow under your head.)
Why It Works: It's perfect when you don't want to move too much, but still want to make each other feel good. Side 69 also makes it easier to focus on all the amazing sensations of oral sex, so you can both get off — and then promptly fall asleep.
If you're sleepy but horny, pick a position that's cozy and comfortable. With the right moves, you can still have some great sex even when you don't feel like swinging from the rafters.
Expert:
Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexologist and relationship coach
This article was originally published on
