Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or seeing where things go with someone you just started dating, shooting them an unexpected steamy text message is a great way to keep things spicy between you two. If you’re looking for a new way to excite your partner, why not try sending them flirty dares over text? You never know where things may lead.
“Flirty dares are well, flirty, and that makes them fun!”
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. “Anytime you can flirt, you are building a romantic relationship and solidifying the attraction and spark. Everyone needs to learn to flirt, and what better way than to send flirty dares? It's a welcome break from monotony.”
There’s an endless amount of
dares you can send over text. For instance, if you just started seeing someone, dating coach Blaine Anderson suggests sending a “lightweight” dare that moves the relationship forward. For example, “ I dare you to call me” or “I dare you to FaceTime me.”
“Experts estimate that
90 percent of communication is non-verbal, so we miss out on 90 percent of the texture, richness, and pleasure of communicating with a crush when we relegate our dialog to SMS,” Anderson says. “It may not sound like much of a dare, but it is, because most people default to SMS.”
If you were always more of a “truth” person and don’t know what to send, here are some ideas for flirty dares over text to get you started.
“Send me a pic (devil emoji).”
There’s nothing wrong with starting off with a simple request. However, the “framing here is important,” Anderson says. If you’re looking for something hot, be sure to include an emoji to spice up the ask. Otherwise, you may end up with a photo of them making a funny face. Cute, but not the mood you were going for.
“Narrate one of your fantasies to me.”
This is an example of a dare that will keep the flames burning, Anderson says. It’s an especially good one to send if you’ve already been
sexting back and forth. If you’re going to send your partner flirty dares, be sure to remember that timing is everything. “Waiting to make the dare until you're both 100 percent present with each other can help ensure success,” she says. In other words, this isn’t one to fire off right before their big meeting or while they’re out with their friends — in that case, it might not land. “Tell me your favorite thing about me.”
This text could work for someone in a long-term relationship or for a newer couple too, and depending on the recipient’s response, it could lead to a sweet, romantic convo or something more risqué.
“I dare you to make out with me in the back of the movie theater this weekend.”
Dares are a fun way to express your fantasies, especially if you’re still in the getting-to-know -you stage of your relationship. According to Trombetti, a dare like this can help maintain the excitement and
chemistry between you two until the next time you see each other, without being so over-the-top that it intimidates your partner. After all, who hasn't made out in the back of the movie theater? “Tell me the naughtiest thought you’ve had about me today ;)”
This is another example of a flirty text that’s good to send earlier on in a relationship. As dating coach
Callisto Adams, Ph.D., tells Bustle, “It’s a great way to start communicating about fantasies and kinks.” Plus, it can lead to more overt sexting or even a phone call with flirty banter. “Say something that would make me show up at your door in a sexy outfit right now.”
This works because it gets the recipient involved in a creative, imaginative way. According to Trombetti, it is a risky one, especially if your partner isn’t in the mood. However, you’ll be greatly rewarded with a sexy scenario if they do respond well to it.
“I dare you to drop everything and meet me for a romantic weekend at the beach.”
If the timing is right, why not? According to Trombetti, “This text is spontaneous, fun, and sounds like a welcome chance to get away with someone you care about it. It also gets you out of your environment.” Even if it’s not said with 100% seriousness, your partner will probably appreciate the sentiment.
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone before.”
Asking your partner to share a secret with you can help build trust for a newer couple, and for a pair who’s more established, it’s a good reminder that there’s
always more to learn about each other. “Send me a pic of the naughtiest thing you’ve seen today.”
There’s a lot of room for creativity with this text. According to Adams, this prompt can turn into a hilarious back-and-forth or a
swapping of sexy photos, depending on the recipient’s mood or sense of humor. “Either one adds fun to the text conversation, and is a little bit out of routine,” Adams says. “It definitely helps in adding that ‘spice’ a couple could be looking for.” Sources Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking Blaine Anderson, dating coach Callisto Adams, Ph.D., dating coach