14 Sex Positions That Build Intimacy

“Skin-to-skin contact allows for the release of the 'bonding' hormone oxytocin and helps you build trust.”

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If you’re looking to form a deep connection, there are plenty of sex positions to feel closer to your partner. From sitting sex to the famed face-off position, these moves don’t just bring you physically closer to your partner — they bring you emotionally closer to them, too. Allowing for slower movement, eye contact, and maximum body contact, these positions will build intimacy and really strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

“Sex can be the perfect conduit to build intimacy between a couple because it addresses both the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy. Skin-to-skin contact allows for the release of the 'bonding' hormone oxytocin and helps you build trust — an important component of intimacy,” relationship and sex expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk tells Bustle. “Emotionally, sex can help you learn to open up and become vulnerable with your partner by being willing to try new things and discuss sensitive topics related to your sexuality."

But with seemingly countless sex positions to choose from, finding the ones that offer the most closeness can be hard. So, if you're feeling a bit of distance between yourself and your partner or just want to get extra snuggly, here are 14 positions that will make you feel closer to your partner.


The Face-Off Sex Position

How to do it: While on your sides, facing each other, pull yourself extra close to your partner so your hips are basically hugging each other. Then lift your upper leg and drape it over their hip so your partner can penetrate you.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: With your legs intertwined and all that eye contact, it's hard not to feel close to your partner. You have the great vantage point of watching each other's face and how each movement affects you both.


The Lotus Sex Position

How to do it: First have your partner sit on a sturdy surface with their legs crossed. Next you want to get into the same position, but sit in their lap with your legs wrapped around their waist. So it's like they're holding you in their lap, as you both begin to grind and rock in a way that allows for fantastic feeling penetration.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: You're not just in your partner's lap, but giving each other a hug while having sex. Your entire body is wrapped around theirs; it's not like you could possibly get any physically or emotionally closer even if you tried.


The Bridge Sex Position

How to do it: Lying on your back, bend your knees with your feet on the bed (or floor!), and lift up your hips. Have your partner approach facing you also on their knees, and stimulate or enter you as they kneel up.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: This sex position allows for the deeper penetration you’d get from doggy, but lets you and your partner keep eye contact as you go along. Being able to see each others’ faces, you can more easily communicate and see how the other is feeling. You’ll quickly be able to see what types of movements feel best for you both.


Modified Doggy-Style Sex

How to do it: After starting in the doggy style position, lower yourselves down until you're pretty much flat against the bed.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Modified doggy gives you the G-spot stimulation that comes with regular doggy style, but allows for kissing and feeling your partner's entire body against yours. It's really intimate, but still has the primal aspect that people tend to love about traditional doggy style.


Sex In A Chair

How to do it: With your partner sitting in a chair, straddle them and the chair, then lower yourself into their lap.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: When you get outside the bedroom, things become not just more exciting but a bonding experience. Also, there's the fact that you're both working to make sure you don't fall out of the chair, while grinding and looking into each other's eyes.


Mutual Masturbation

How to do it: Although this sex position can be done anywhere, as long as you have a view of each other, I always opt for the bed because it's comfortable there. Once you're both settled into your spots, begin to masturbate.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Although your bodies aren't locked in an intense embrace, mutual masturbation is an intimate act in that you're showing your partner something very few people get to see. Because of this, and the bonding that comes with it, you'll feel closer to your partner.


Spooning Sex

How to do it: While in the spooning cuddle position, have your partner penetrate you. This might take a little finagling and involves you lifting your upper leg a little bit so they can get in there.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: This position is essentially a cuddle with a little something extra — intercourse. Cuddling has several benefits, one of which is that it strengthens the bond between the two people doing the cuddling, making this position perfect for when you want to feel closer to your partner.


Seated Oral Sex

How to do it: While one partner sits, the other partner gives oral. Then you can switch.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: No matter how you slice it, oral sex is one of the most intimate sex acts out there. It immediately makes you feel closer to your partner, while both receiving and giving. And once you add in the chair factor, it's even hotter.


On Top Sex Position

How to do it: As the name suggests, get on top of your partner. Have your partner lie down, then straddle them and voila!

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Again we have a position in which you and your partner can look into each other's eyes. It's also perfect for clitoral stimulation because, in being on top, you get to control your orgasm. Lock eyes with your partner when you orgasm to feel even closer.


Side Straddle Sex Position

How to do it: Have your partner lie on their back with one leg stretched out and the other bent. Straddling over the bent leg, slide down meeting your partner’s pelvis.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Unlike traditional reverse cowgirl, this position lets you get more intertwined with your partner’s body. They’ll get a sultry view of your backside, and you’ll get to wrap yourself around them. Additionally, as you balance on their bent leg, you can look back at them and keep eye contact steady.



How to do it: There are a few ways to slide into a 69. Have your partner lie flat on their back, facing up, and straddle over them, facing their feet. Or try your partner lying on their side, facing you, and approaching them on your side, facing them, but with your head at their feet.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: 69 isn’t the easiest position to get into. While it can feel a bit daunting, the silliness can break the tension and have your and your partner laughing and feeling safe with each other. Additionally, receiving oral from a different angle, as you’re giving oral yourself, can feel vulnerable and exciting.


Seated Doggy

How to do it: Find a sturdy chair that can hold two people. Have your partner sit down with their legs a little apart. Sit back, as though you’re sitting on your partner’s lap. From there they can enter or stimulate you from behind.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: This seated sex position allows for maximum skin-to-skin contact, deep penetration, and open access to your clit. Your partner can kiss your neck and dirty talk to you, and they feel all of your body.


Sex With A Toy

How to do it: Get into your favorite sex position or a position that’s comfortable for you. Note: Something like doggy or you on top may allow for better access with a toy, however, if you wiggle around, you can fit a toy in most positions.

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: You and your partner may spend sex thinking about when you’re going to finish or feeling pressure to climax faster. Adding a toy to the mix, you can relax into the moment and just enjoy each other’s company. It can take a big weight off and just let you both feel close.


Anal Sex Or Anal Play

How to do it: Grab the lube and get into whatever position that's most comfortable for you. Next, have your partner penetrate your ass with either their penis, finger, or a sex toy. The choice is yours! (But do not forget the lube.)

Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Anal is a sex position that builds intimacy because it requires a lot of trust and an extra amount of communication. Secondly, you're engaging in something that still gets a bad rap (although it shouldn't!) which is bond-building in itself.

“[Anal] develops a certain amount of sensitivity and communication in order to make it a comfortable and arousing experience for everyone,” relationship and sex expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk tells Bustle, “It may make you feel more intimate with your partner because it is considered so taboo.”

Sex positions that make you feel closer to your partner have so benefits. Between the bonding and intimacy factor, you're not just enjoying the moment but strengthening your relationship. And anything that will do that is definitely worth trying.

Additional reporting by Griffin Wynne


Dr. Kat Van Kirk, relationship and sex expert

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