It's hard to pass judgment on anyone's relationship, because the universal rule is no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. And celebrities are people, too. But to judge is human, and when famous folk talk so much about their romantic lives, you get a sense of who's good together and who isn't. There are those celeb couples that become infamous for their on-again, off-again trajectories of love, but there are some out there that should just turn it off for good. The summer of 2015 has seen the end of many a celeb match-up, including Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Sean Penn and Charlize Theron, and Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Is love dead? Not necessarily. Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes, it's what must be done.
In looking back on what has been a decidedly heartbreaking un-cuffing season, let's celebrate the breakups that we hope last forever. Because while there are still some celeb couples who we hope reunite in their salad days (here's looking at you, Justin and Britney), there are some that belong far, far apart forever.
For whatever reason they broke up, here are nine celebrity couples that should never, ever get back together, if they know what's good for them. Because clearly, I do. But really, these couples were, in the words of Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, the wooo-orst.
1. Rihanna & Chris Brown
HELL to the NO.
2. Selena Gomez & Justin Bieber
Bieber recently sent a subliminal shoutout to Gomez vis-a-vis some graffiti in his music video for "What Do You Mean," but I hope she doesn't take the bait, because she seems to have moved on from the Biebs once and for all.
3. Khloé Kardashian & Lamar Odom
I am very protective of Khloé Kardashian and anyone who hurts her the way Odom apparently did has no business being with her. Not on my watch.
4. Sean Penn & Charlize Theron
My heart grew three sizes when I first read the rumor that Charlize Theron broke up with Sean Penn by ghosting on him. May we all find courage and inspiration and cut the fat from our lives with such efficiency when we realize it's no longer good for us! Theron is a goddess and Penn is no good for her. 'Nuff said.
5. Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
So I never have to hear another word from Goop about consciously or unconsciously coupling or uncoupling. Amen.
6. Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey
Can we all admit that it was just too weird? I didn't even try to pick a weird photo of the couple that once was. They're all weird.
7. Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick
This might be a controversial pick, but sometimes you just gotta know when to walk away. I'm sure we will be Keeping Up with both of them for many years to come (they do have three adorable children together), but the Kardashian and Disick song-and-dance has hopefully ended for good. Besides, Kourt seems like she's doing great.
8. Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson
This is more just a PSA to the world: Stop trying to make R. Patz and K. Stew happen again. They're never gonna happen again.
9. Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise
What is he whispering to her in that photo?! I'm so proud of her for getting the heck out of there with little Suri.
Til death do them happily and forever apart, never to get together again.