Whether you're a beginner or a seasoned vet, oral sex mistakes happen to the best of us: Sex can be unpredictable, and since every body is different, you never know what will/won't work to your advantage in the oral department with a new partner. You probably know by now that the number one oral rule is "no teeth," but there are other oral sex mistakes that you might also want to make a mental note of.
While there's obviously not one "correct" way to give oral, there are definitely tips and tricks to make it infinitely hotter. If you're feeling like oral sex has become monotonous or lackluster, it might be time to spice things up by adding a toy into the mix, or maybe you should switch to 69'ing so you both get to experience the pleasures of oral sex. Whatever you decide, know that there are myriad ways to make sure your partner leaves thanking his or her lucky stars that you're so accomplished at oral.
If you're aiming to impress, here are seven oral sex mistakes to avoid — but remember, the ultimate key to good oral (and sex in general) is open, honest communication about what does and does not feel good. No tricks there.
1. You're Not Making Eye Contact
No matter how much you enjoy giving oral, you have to admit it: It takes a lot of concentration. I know it can be difficult in the moment to remember to look up at your partner while going down on them, but if you really want to turn them on, don't treat it like a chore. Even something as simple as locking eyes with your partner during oral can add intimacy, and remind them that you're enjoying yourself and genuinely want to see their reaction to what your mouth is doing.
2. You're In A Rush
Orgasms don't happen instantly — we all know that much. However, I think there's a bit of a misconception when it comes to blow jobs: Women assume all men (in theory) love BJs, so they must come quickly from oral, right? Wrong. Just like women, some guys are more sensitive to oral than others, so don't get discouraged if you're going down on someone for five minutes and they have yet to pop. Obviously if you're getting tired and need a break, that's totally OK, but just don't stress if things are taking a little longer than you imagined. It's the same with ladies, too: Women generally take longer than men to get aroused, so if it's taking a while for her to reach orgasm, don't worry.
3. You're Using Only Your Mouth
I think this is pretty much the most well-known "trick" for good oral sex: Use your hands and your mouth. Not only does it enable your mouth to take a (literal) breather, but using your hands switches up the sensations your partner is feeling, which will result in a better orgasm. For men, the wetness of your mouth paired with the firm grip and friction of your hand makes for an orgasm-worthy combo. And for women, using your fingers to stimulate the G-spot while focusing your tongue on the clitoris is basically a one-way ticket to O-Town (Get it? Like the band).
4. You're Not Addressing The Whole Package
Hey, balls need love, too. Although they can be a little intimidating — they're sensitive and we don't want to hurt them! — it's still important to pay attention to the balls, especially during oral sex. Whether you choose to gently lick or suck his balls (or both), I guarantee it'll make the BJ one of the most memorable he's ever had. Similarly, if you're going down on a woman, you should leave no area unexplored: Kiss and caress her thighs, breasts, and butt during oral to make sure every inch is stimulated.
5. You're Not Using Toys
Although you may not want to whip out a vibe every time you give oral, that doesn't mean you can't every once in a while. Going down on a woman is just that much more amazing if a toy is involved: Try inserting a small vibe while you perform oral externally. And who says vibrators are just for women? During a blow job, use a small bullet vibrator behind his balls — the combination of oral and vibration will send him over the edge. Alternatively, if he's comfortable with anal play, you can use a prostate massager while you go down on him.
6. You're Not Pleasuring Yourself Simultaneously
OK, so maybe you don't have enough hands to please your partner and yourself at the same time, but you know that vibrator I just mentioned? If you place that inside you before you start giving your partner oral, I guarantee it will make things a lot more fun for the two of you. First of all, you'll be super turned on, which will, in turn, make your partner more aroused. Hearing you moan while he or she is in your mouth is a sure-fire way to really up the sexual ante.
7. You're Using Teeth
It can't be emphasized enough: No. Just no. Unless you and your partner have discussed it and he or she enjoys the sensation of teeth or biting on their nether regions, try your best to keep your teeth firmly tucked behind your lips where they belong.
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