13 People Reveal The Moment They Knew Their Relationship Was Over

Ever seen signs that your relationship is over, even though it hasn't necessarily been said out loud yet? Many of us have been there. Behavior plays an integral role, though, in determining if something is no longer what it once was. Sometimes, people play games. Or they avoid the topic at hand, but you just know something’s off.

I encourage couples to check in with each other on a regular basis, typically weekly,” Jeffrey Sumber, MA, MTS, LCPC, tells Bustle. “That’s an opportunity to see whether things are going amazingly or if someone’s struggling.” (Sumber even has a free download on his website called The Check-In Dialogue).

Ah, great advice, if only it were that easy, right? That’s probably why ghosting’s become such a trendit’s easier to just disappear than tell someone we’re not into them and don’t want to see them again.

I do feel we get signs from our S.O. or person we’re dating that it’s the beginning of the end — like passive-aggressiveness or lack of sex. “Passive-aggressiveness in relationships is huge,” Dr. Suzana Flores, clinical psychologist and author of Facehooked: How Facebook Affects Our Emotions, Relationships, and Lives, tells Bustle. “It’s not the best way to communicate problems and certainly not the best way to end a relationship.”

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I’m sure many of us have experienced passive-aggressiveness from a partner. Something will be wrong, they won’t say anything, and it’ll make us do the dirty work. (Or maybe we’ve been that person.)

Of course, a decrease in physical intimacy is another telltale sign, I think. “Sex is always a big giveaway,” Tina B. Tessina, P.h.D. (aka "Dr. Romance"), tells Bustle. “If you're having trouble with sex, either you're dissatisfied and don't get enough, you feel your partner wants too much, or the sex is fading out of your relationship — it's a [bad] sign. Sex is just a physical form of communication.”

The old me sometimes missed the this-is-about-to-end warning signs in relationships. (Or perhaps I was just in denial.) But the me of today — having read lots of self-help books (like It's Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken , from Greg Behrendt, one of the writers of He’s Just Not That Into You , another great reminder read), talked to amazing friends, and gone to therapy — knows when to say goodbye to an ill-fitting relationship and also how to recognize the signs that things are going in the wrong direction. (At least, I hope I do!)

Bustle readers agreed about seeing signs before the breakup storm, and shared about the moment they knew their relationship was over.

1. Steve, 36

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2. Maggie, 33

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3. Aliya, 23

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4. Ali, 37

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5. Francesca, 31

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6. Anna Renault, 65

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7. Allison, 31

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8. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, 40

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9. Kristen, 46-55

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10. Katy, 48

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11. Joan, then-46

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12. Bonnie Gayle, SexButter.net, 51

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13. Jenn, GypsterVeil, 32

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Images: Fotolia; Giphy