17 Reasons Your Online Match Didn't Write You Back
People flake on each other on dating apps and sites every minute of every day, and there are a ton of reasons an online match didn't respond to you. The timeline is simple: Girl matches with girl or boy, girl texts girl or boy a pithy, smart message, and then . . . girl never hears back. Another common timeline: Girl is matched, girl sends a message to girl or boy (or receives one from said girl or boy), the two exchange witty repartee for the better part of a day or week, but sooner or later, girl's fun banter partner disappears. Forever. But why?
Someone dropping the ball during a fun conversation is disappointing, but it's part of online dating, and really shouldn't be anything but a temporary — like, two-second — setback. Seriously, don't get too hung up on it.
Of course it's hard to detach one's hopes and expectations completely from anything, but when it comes to online dating, everyone is way, way better off if they can do just that. Let your hopes and expectations kick in after a few dates, at very least. Though if you can stave them off even longer, all the better. Here are some reasons your online match didn't write you back.
1. They Forgot
Because they're annoying and super forgetful.
2. They're Just Not That Into You
This happens. It's OK. It's part of online dating, and you absolutely, 100 percent are going to experience this, even if you're the most lovely, likable, smart, beautiful, sweet woman on the planet. (And I'm sure you are.) Don't sweat it. Move on.
3. They're Scared
It's easy to text back and forth for hours, but some people in the online dating sphere generally get cold feet when it comes to actually meeting. That's why it's smart to suggest some face time right away. The only way to ascertain if you have good chemistry (or any chemistry at all) is to be in the same room.
4. They Met Someone Else
As I'm sure you've noticed, everyone on online dating is conversing with approximately 10,000 people every day. There's a very high chance that the gal or guy you've been chatting with just went on a date with someone else last night. And maybe it went well. So — for now, at least — they're not writing back to anyone. But I don't suggest patience here: If someone ghosts, write them off. It's bad manners.
5. They're Sick Of Online Dating
At some point, everyone hits a cyber-dating wall. It happens to the best of us. You just happened to come along just at the beginning of your match's online dating burnout. C'est la vie.
6. They're Having A Personal Crisis
And can't even fathom dealing with their OkCupid inbox, even if you did send the wittiest, nicest, most well-written note on the planet.
7. They Reunited With Their Ex
Happens every day.
8. Your Opening Line Was "Hey"
Yeah, this one is on you.
9. You Asked What Their Favorite Color Is
This one's on you, too.
10. They're Flaky
Some people come on hot, only to go cold. You've come across one. Good to know.
11. They're Looking For A Hookup, And You're Looking For Love
Or you're looking for some NSA fling, and they want heartstrings and turtle doves. Whatever the case may be, your profiles aren't well-matched, even if you both swiped right. Maybe they're trying to save you both some heartache.
12. They Already Went On Five Dates This Week
Do you really want to be their sixth?
13. They Prefer Brunettes
And you're blonde. Or they like redheads, and were thinking of dipping their toe into a new territory with you, a raven-haired vixen, but they changed their minds. Point is, sometimes people are especially superficial on dating sites and apps, and maybe they had a stupid and not-really-based-in-any-sort-of-reality change of heart. Better to know now.
14. They're Married
They were going to do Ashley Madison, but you saw how well that went for everyone else.
15. They Never Planned To Actually Meet You
AKA you have a virtual pen pal who just likes to text.
16. They're Actually A 75-Year-Old Man
And you thought you were chatting with a 30-year-old woman. That would've been a surprise when you met them at the coffee shop.
17. They're "Trapped Under Something Heavy"
In the inimitable words of Harry Burns from When Harry Met Sally, sometimes you mean to write back to someone, but then a bookshelf falls on you.
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