Sometimes, I look at the everyday annoyances of our time and can't help but laugh, because we wouldn't have been able to comprehend the daily struggles of 2016 back in the '90s. We're talking about the days of cootie catchers and My Best Friend's Wedding; how complicated do you think life got? We weren't worried about how many likes our Instagram post got, or the fact that we couldn't take a selfie without looking like a potato. Give a gal some sidewalk chalk and a Lunchables pizza, and she's good to go.
But as Bob Dylan once sang, the times they are a-changin', and we're spoiled these days. We have a world of information at our fingertips, thanks to the iPhone; and technology has put us in a constant state of impatience, wanting whatever we want right now. You can get food delivered to your home within the hour without ever speaking to another human and simply logging into an app. You can give yourself a fake manicure using nothing but your phone. You can communicate with people on the opposite end of the world in less than a second, for free.
What happens when these things stop working? There are just so many struggles in 2016 that we never would've understood in the '90s.
1. When Someone You Want To Creep On Isn't On Facebook
Once upon a time, if you wanted to get to know someone, you would have to approach them in person and speak words face to face. It was widely referred to as "human interaction." You can now read about it in history books.
2. When Maps Won't Find Your Current Location
When I'm out and about and trying to get directions to my next location, nothing is more aggravating than when my iPhone can't determine my current location. I start to sweat a little, picturing myself permanently stranded in whatever parking lot I'm sitting in.
Remember when maps used to be printed on paper and we actually had to read them?
3. When Your YouTube Video Takes More Than Five Seconds To Load
In the '90s, if a video downloaded in less than 24 hours, we'd call our friends to tell them the crazy news.
4. When Your Mom Takes Your Smartphone Away
I'll tell you what sucked in the '90s: When you did something stupid and your mom told you that you couldn't go outside to play. That was torture.
5. When You Can't Get Your Bluetooth To Connect Your Phone To Your TV To Your Car To Your Toothbrush
In the '90s, there was a remote and a VCR. If you wanted to rewind something, you got up and pushed the button. If you wanted to know what was playing, you'd sit through the entire TV Guide network scroll, and if you missed the one show or channel you were looking for, you'd sit through the whole thing all over again. No one complained.
6. When Kylie Jenner's Lip Kit Sold Out Before You Could Buy It
Back in the day, Lip Smacker was all you needed. And you never posted pictures of your pout online. As a matter of fact, you didn't post pictures of anything online.
7. When Your Favorite Coffee Shop Messes Up Your Order
Things were easier when everyone drank chocolate milk and we didn't need our names on our cups.
8. When You Can't Find That Movie You Wanted To Watch Available Anywhere Online
Life in the '90s meant trips to Blockbuster, and the only crime you could commit was forgetting to rewind the VHS before you returned it.
9. When Your Xbox Kinect Isn't Kinecting Properly
When I was a kid, if your video game wasn't working, you blew in it. Did it actually fix it? No idea. But by golly, it was satisfying.
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