The 2014 Oscar Superlatives For Most Confused, Selfiest Selfie, & Many More
Pat yourselves on the back, America: because you've done it. You made it through the end of the 2013/2014 awards season. Congratulations! Because as of right now, the 2014 Oscars are over at last, and the fanciest celebrities of the year have trickled of the Dolby Theater and over to the Roosevelt Hotel to party on Robert DeNiro's dime, before ending the night dancing away their cares at the Vanity Fair soiree.
And now it's time that we put all our snark aside and reflect on the superlative moments of the evening. And we're not just talking about Ellen's jab at Liza Minnelli, Jared Leto falling in love with June Squibb, Jennifer Lawrence falling (again) because of course, Kristen Bell's purse burrito, Jimmy Kimmel's awkward sketch, the return of The Hat, Benedict Cumberbatch's LupitaTears, and the World's Most Historical Selfie. No, no, no: we're talking about moments big and small, embarrassing and amazing, and anything random in between.
Because while it's all fun and games for the 3952943 people sitting in a room clapping for nearly 4 hours, for those of us on the front e-lines, it's work. Let's take a look at who "won" what last night:
Sparkliest Bellhop: Ellen Degeneres
Most Likely to Shame Taylor Swift in a Dance-Off: It's a Tie Between Meryl...
Most Likely to Hear "You Can't Sit With Us!" at the Oscars: Liza Minnelli
Cutest QT: June Squibb
Most Enthused: Harrison Ford
Most Likely to Reveal Themselves to be Living Kewpie Dolls: Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Emma Watson
Worst Use of a Frank Underwood Moment: The 2014 Oscars
Loudest: Darlene Love
Best True Detective Season 2 Casting: Leto & Squibb
SELFIEST SELFIEISH SELFIE TO EVER SELFIE IN THE HISTORY OF SELFIE #SELFIE: The Ellen selfie
BEST: Lupita Nyong'o
Bill Murrayist: Bill Murray
Most Confused: John Travolta
Cumberbounciest: Benedict Cumberbatch
Daddiest: Brad Pitt (a.k.a. DAD PITT)
Most Likely to Be Feeling Alright Alright Alright: McConaughey
So here's to movies, America. And we'll see you back here... this fall when the cycle starts all over again.