Breaking up is hard to do, and especially hard if you don’t feel it was the right decision. Sometimes after ending a relationship we’re left wondering whether this person was “the one,” and if we accidentally let them slip by. There are ways to know your ex is your soulmate (or at least someone you should be with for a while) that you can take careful note of to help you accurately determine whether you and your ex were meant to be, or whether your relationship with him or her was simply a stepping stone to your best relationship yet that’s about to come your way.
For those of us who are romancers, the idea of finding our soulmate is often an idea we think upon with excitement. However, what if our soulmate is someone we have already dated and are now broken up with? Could our ex be our soulmate? It is quite possible. While some of our exes are exes for a reason — perhaps there were different core values in the relationship, infidelity, challenges over distance, etc. — sometimes an ex can be the person who is incredibly right for us in the world. If you’ve broken up with someone who you believe might be your soulmate, consider the points we’ll discuss below and whether these points speak to you or not. If they do, it could potentially indicate that it’s worth giving you and your ex another chance to make things right. He or she could be “the one,” after all. Here are 11 weird ways to know your ex is actually your soulmate.
1. You Get Each Other On Another Level
Sometimes you’re with a partner and the connection seems to be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It’s almost as if you and your SO get each other in a way no one else could understand. If this sounds like the connection you had with your ex, it’s possible they might have been the one. According to the Huffington Post, when you’re with a soulmate, you might find yourself completing each other’s sentences, for example, as you’re just that close. Was your ex this person for you? Are you having a hard time finding that same connection again?
2. You Can’t Imagine Sharing As Much With Anyone Else
You told your ex everything, and I mean everything. Now that you’re broken up, you’re realizing the amount of personal information you were willing to disclose to your him or her is far more than you’d ever be willing to share with someone else. The relationship experts at YourTango.com noted this as a sign your ex could be the one you’re meant to be with. Consider whether the intimate things you shared with him or her are things you’d be open to sharing with anyone else.
3. You Broke Up Over Something Little & Can’t Stop Thinking About How Silly It Was
Was your relationship wonderful for the most part? Then, at the end something minor caused a quick rift and before you knew it you were broken up. Seventeen suggested thinking about the reason you broke up — and if it was over something insignificant — consider if you’re now regretting it. If the answer is yes, it could mean it’s worth giving the relationship another go.
To get some more insight into this, I spoke via email to Mara Opperman, relationship etiquette expert, co-founder of I Do Now I Don’t, and Director of Communications and Client Relations at DEL GATTO. Opperman says sometimes couples will break up due to impulsive reasons. However, she suggests that if you're considering getting back together with an ex because your breakup was over something small that you still be certain to deal with the issue before jumping back into the relationship. "You can’t get back together with your ex without dealing with the catalyst that caused the breakup," Opperman says. "If the reason you broke up is no longer an issue, then you should consider giving it a second chance."
Oppositely, though, if the issue was larger and something ongoing throughout the span of the relationship, you should think twice about whether you're meant to be with this person as the issue will most likely continue to arise, Opperman adds.
4. You Don’t Feel As Though You Gave The Relationship Enough Time
Did you and your ex genuinely try to make things work, or did you give up on each other without much of a fight? Now, do you find yourself constantly wishing that you and your ex had tried harder and given it more time before calling it quits? Fox News Magazine spoke to Marina Pearson, founder of Divorce Shift and author of Goodbye Mr. Ex who offered her insight into whether it’s worth giving a former relationship another shot. “Sometimes people give up too easily and take the easy way out, which is to separate,” Pearson said. “By going back, you can move forward and enter what feels like a new relationship.” The outlet noted, though, that if you believe your ex to be your soulmate and want to give it another go, you should both thoroughly talk things out before making the final decision to start over.
5. You Can't Seem To Find Those Same Feelings With Anyone Else
When you were with your ex there was this undeniable feeling you had all the time, and it was amazing to say the least. Now that you've broken up, no matter who else you've tried to date you can't seem to get those same feelings again. Opperman stresses that before you mark this off as a sign your ex was your soulmate, you ensure you've really given yourself enough time. "You need to realize that after any breakup, there are always going to be some unhappy feelings," Opperman explains. "However, if you’ve tried seeing other people since the breakup and your feelings just weren’t the same as the ones you had for your ex, you may need more time to be alone and focus on yourself and your loved ones instead."
After you've given yourself that necessary time, then consider if those feelings you had for your ex have subsided or not, Opperman suggests. "If they don’t, you may want to consider reaching out to your ex again," Opperman says. "Sometimes, it can take a break from each other to realize you are better off together than apart."
6. You Feel As Though He Or She Made You A Better Person
Be as honest with yourself as you possibly can — do you believe your ex helped make you a better person? According to YourTango.com, if your ex had a very positive influence on you by making you the best “you” you could possibly be, he or she may have been the one you were meant to be with.
7. Your Friends And Family Agree
Every time you mention to your friends and family that you believe your ex might have been "the one," they're always in major agreement — they think he or she was perfect for you. Take their insight into consideration when determining if you believe your ex was actually your soulmate. Why? According to Opperman, sometimes it's these individuals who can provide the most impartial, honest opinion about your ex. "When you are the one in the relationship, it’s hard to have impartial feelings about your significant other," Opperman says. "I think outsiders — like friends and family — can provide an objective opinion and shed some light and important insight on both what went wrong and what went right in your relationship."
8. You’re Regularly Defending Him Or Her
You hear someone mention your ex is a negative way, and your very first reaction is to come to his or her defense. According to Seventeen, this instinct could be a sign that person was it for you. Stop and consider this: Does the idea of someone bashing your ex hurt you down to the core? It could mean you deep down know this person is a great human, and a great match for you.
9. The Two Of You Supported Each Other Immensely
A huge factor behind the idea of a soulmate is that you and this person have a solid support system for each other, according to expert David Wolfe, who wrote on the topic of soulmates on his site www.DavidWolfe.com. Wolfe noted partners are the “perfect team” when they’re able to fully support each other’s dreams. Was your ex this person for you? Signs could point to that he or she is, in fact, your soulmate.
10. You Realize You Were In The Wrong
You’ve been broken up for a while, but you can’t help but to constantly think about how you were in the wrong in the relationship. Was everything great, but you know you were the one who managed to mess it up? Be honest with yourself — this person may very well be your soulmate. If this resonates with you, you might consider admitting to him or her that you were wrong. Fox News Magazine also spoke to Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent, and she recommended being candid about your realization. “Simply put, swallow your pride and admit your were wrong,” Walfish said. “If you broke up with him or her and realize you made the mistake, own it.”
11. You Both Make Each Other Feel Secure
Another big aspect of a soulmate is that they make you feel secure, according to Huffington Post. This could mean they give you the sense that they would protect you under any circumstances. The opposite should be true, as well — you would be whatever you could to make them feel this way. Was your ex someone who you had this with? Would they never dream of bringing out your insecurities and making you feel worse about them? If so, they may have been someone you shouldn’t give up on.
After thinking long and hard about some of the points discussed here, it might guide you in best understanding whether you and your ex are soulmates. If you believe you might very well be and trust your gut instinct, it could be time to be open and honest with him or her about your feelings.
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