Between performance anxiety and body image, sex fears are common, but they can also get in the way of having a good time. It’s not easy to leave your inhibitions at that door and bare yourself, both physically and emotionally. But when you do, when you find the way to work with your hang-ups, as opposed to fighting them tooth and nail, a weight is lifted and suddenly you can make sex more enjoyable.
According to a 2015 study, 75 percent of people have sex in the dark. The study of 2,000 people found that for 14 percent it was because they were embarrassed by their “O” face, while five percent admitted that they wanted to imagine their partner was someone else. As for the remaining percentage, the reason wasn’t listed, but considering how many people struggle with body insecurities when it comes to sex, it might be safe to assume that some of those numbers were in the study’s results, too.
So how can sex become more enjoyable? A way to do that is to try out new sex positions that help you to embrace body positivity and make you more uninhibited in bed. Here are seven sex positions to help you do just that.
1. Girl On Top
How to do it: With your partner lying down, climb on top of them. From here, put one leg on either side of their body so you’re straddling them.
Why it will make you make you more uninhibited in bed: When you’re on top, you’re basically saying, “Here I am! Here’s all of me!” This is most especially the case if you sit upright, as opposed to lying on top of them. It’s hard to be inhibited when everything is exposed and you’re in control. It’s liberating AF.
2. The Cross
How to do it: First you want your partner to get on their side facing you, while propping up their head with their arm. (Basically, they're in a position where they looks like they're ready to relax and have a chat.) Next, you want to drape your legs over their hips, from a perpendicular position, while your partner (or you) penetrates you, which will entail a bit of adjusting and readjusting to get things just right.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: You’re pretty much hanging out, chillin’, with your partner inside you. It’s also a position that will make men last longer, so you can, well, talk, communicate, exchange some dirty words — all of which help in kicking inhibitions to the curb.
3. Sideways Straddle
How to do it: Have your partner lie on their back with one leg bent, their foot flat on the ground. Next, you want to straddle their bent leg, while facing away from them, lowering yourself onto them until you’re on your knees. This particular position is awesome for clitoral stimulation.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: Again, a position in which you are in control. Having control in a sex position is, in itself, a way to get over your inhibitions. You’re also facing away from your partner, giving them a perfect view of your backside which, for some, can evoke an, “OMG. I hope my ass looks amazing from this angle.” (Don't worry; it does.) These two aspects definitely contribute to this position being one that will make you more uninhibited during sex.
4. Reverse Cowgirl
How to do it: For this one, it’s just girl on top, but reversed. So, with your partner lying down, straddle them, while facing away and lowering yourself onto them and… voila! You’re in the reverse cowgirl position.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: Being on top gives you the power. People with inhabitations usually always want the power, because it’s like a spotlight shining down on them. There’s also the factor that, like the sideways straddle position, you’re exposing your backside to your partner, which can feel a little daunting. And, if you lie down, with your torso against their legs, you’re exposing even more of yourself, depending on how spread your legs are. When you show your partner your butt that up close and personal, you’ve definitely crossed over into a world where any and all inhibitions are just gone.
5. The Bridge
How to do it: Lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor, but legs spread enough so your partner can get their hips in there. From a kneeling position and between your legs, your partner is going to bring your hips up to meet their pelvis. This will require you to arch your back a bit and support yourself with your arms on the bed — or floor or wherever you’re performing this position.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: Similar to the on top position, physically, you’re totally exposed. And, because you’re facing each other, albeit from an angle, avoiding eye contact or not seeing each other’s “O” face are impossible. Which is actually great, because hello, intimacy!
6. In A Chair
How to do it: Grab a chair, for starters. Next, have your partner sit in the chair, as they normally would, then straddle them — either facing your partner or facing away — and lower yourself onto them. Talk about a whole boatload of hot.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: I’m of the belief that any sex position that gets you out of the bed is great for shaking inhibitions from our bones. You’re forced to confront your hang-ups, because you don’t have a sheet to hide behind. Also, because this one includes a chair, it involves communicating, both with your body and your words, to make sure you two don’t have an accident and end up on the floor. If you’re someone who usually stays mum during sex, then being so close can help you talk, making you more uninhibited.
7. Side By Side
How to do it: Lying side by side and facing each other, you want to pull yourselves in close. Your pelvis should be a little higher than your partner’s so you can lower yourself onto them. Then wrap your top leg around their waist.
Why it will make you more uninhibited in bed: This particular position is really intimate and, because it requires some finagling to get your hips in line perfectly for penetration, it opens up a dialogue about sex and can even lead to some giggles. Great sex should always include a laugh or two, and when you can get to that point of being that relaxed and comfortable, then you’ve definitely reached a level of being uninhibited.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle