Subtle Signs That Someone Is Good In Bed
Like the great T-Swift, wolves, and a number of bird species, I’m very much a monogamous creature by nature (I’m also very much in a monogamous relationship right now, and I dig it). None of this has made me any less fascinated by sex studies, though, because human sexuality is rad; in fact, the more sex studies researchers conduct, the more we learn exciting facts that improve our sex lives, like how to tell if someone is good in bed just by spending time with them. That’s right! You can kind of tell if someone is a great lay (or not so much), just by hanging out with them.
I say “kind of” because, obviously, the only way to know for sure what someone is like in bed is by having sex with them. That said, multiple studies and surveys have shown that everything from a person’s sense of humor to their drinking habits to their feelings about politics can affect their sex life. So if you’ve got a date with someone new coming up and you feel like doing a little bit of sexy research — or you’re just curious about how everyday behaviors can impact human sexuality — then read on.
1. They Booze In Moderation
If your date stops drinking after one or two beers, that could mean you'll be having some quality sex with them later on. Heavy drinking messes with sex in all kinds of ways, and it's also just bad for your health, so a person's drinking habits can potentially tell you quite a bit about their behavior in bed.
Don't get me wrong — drinking in moderation pre-bang can sometimes enhance sexual experiences. (For me, at least.) After all, boozing lowers our inhibitions and can make it easier to relax during sex. Plus, research has shown that consuming red wine in moderation can boost sexual satisfaction among women.
That said, too much alcohol can increase anxiety, work as a depressant, and cause temporary erectile dysfunction in men. All of those things are literal mood killers, so if your crush/partner/potential sex friend drinks responsibly, that just might mean they're a quality lover.
2. They Don’t Shy Away From Eye Contact
I think we can all agree that eye contact is weird sometimes. Personally, my ability to hold eye contact with people usually depends on a number of variables. Some days I'm great at it, but on the days that I'm feeling particularly anxious or vulnerable, eye contact can be hard. What I'm saying is this: If you're on a date and the person sitting across from you is having a little bit of trouble meeting your eyes, that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't dynamite in the sack. They might just be shy or a little bit insecure.
Studies do show that eye contact is crucial for fostering both sexual attraction and social connections, though. So if you notice that the person you're interested in rarely ever makes eye contact with anyone, that doesn't bode well for their sex life. Moreover, being able to make eye contact during sex is super important too. As sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini told Bustle last summer, "A great lover makes you feel as though you’re 'escaping' your worries and totally engaged with them. Engagement with eye contact, the way you touch them, and slowing down helps build excitement, making climax easy to achieve."
3. They Make People Laugh
As Psychology Today reported back in 2015, research suggests that funny men bring women to orgasm (vaginally, anyway) more often than men who lack a solid sense of humor. These findings were the result of a study that included 44 female students who were dating men. According to Psychology Today, "Women with partners who had a great sense of humor enjoyed more orgasms and stronger ones as well."
It's a bummer this study only includes men and women in heterosexual relationships, but since women orgasm more if their partner is funny, it's probably safe to assume that funny women give their ladies more orgasms, too. At any rate, if your Tinder date makes you genuinely giggle, then you may be in for a great time.
4. They’re Passionate About Politics
If you're a feminist killjoy like me, then you probably avoid discussing politics with people you don't know super well. This might be a mistake, though — as Mashable reported earlier this year, being passionate about politics is actually a great way to signify that you're good in bed.
This sexy discovery was the result of Match.com's "Singles of America" survey, which included 5,500 singles between the ages of 50 and 70+. According to the survey, people who feel passionately about politics and political issues reported having 13 percent more orgasms; and 32 percent of those surveyed reporting having multiple orgasms during sex. What's even more interesting (to me, anyway), is the fact that these results were consistent, regardless of a person's political affiliations. So no matter how liberal or conservative someone is, if they feel passionately about where they stand politically, then it's quite likely they would rock your socks right off.
5. They Don’t Smoke Cigarettes
According to science, non-smokers have happier sex lives than smokers for several reasons. Since smoking decreases blood flow to the genitals, smoking cigarettes can decrease libido for both men and women. Moreover, due to the potent vasoconstrictor in nicotine, smoking cigarettes can also seriously damage the blood vessels in a dude's rig. On top of that, smoking makes it more difficult to be physically active, and more often than not, quality love-making gets pretty athletic.
6. They Read For Fun
If you don't like to read for fun, I'm definitely not saying you're bad at sex. Not everyone likes to read for fun, and for people who struggle with dyslexia, reading can be downright unpleasant. But reading can pay off big time in the bedroom. (Or the car, or the kitchen, or literally anywhere else you're comfortable getting freaky.) Studies show that people who read fiction are better at empathizing with others, and a strong sense of empathy is pretty much required for good sex.
Research has also shown that people who read are less stressed out, which could mean readers are more relaxed during sex. Plus, people who read are typically nicer and smarter than people who don't, and nice smarties are usually fun to have sex with. As more than one of my past lovers have proven, though, reading for fun doesn't automatically turn someone into a considerate or mind-blowing lover. Just like everything else in life, there will always be exceptions to the rule.
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