If you’ve been with your partner for a while, there’s a good chance you’ve developed something of a routine when it comes to sex. Maybe your brain isn’t a catalogue of 900 different sex position names with instructions on how to do them, but you generally know what works for you both and what to expect. Knowing exactly how to get yourself off is great, but throwing down in the same spooning-to-doggy routine every time you do the dirty can get repetitive. Keeping your sex life exciting can be tough, but it's important to make sure you're happy with that area of your relationship. If you or your partner start to feel bored, it can affect your bond.
“A relationship is like a bicycle — when one of the wheels is flat, it will still go, but not well," Eric Marlowe Garrison, sex and relationship counselor and author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex, tells Bustle. "Even if only one partner is in that sex rut, it's going to affect the relationship sexually. When you need something that your partner doesn’t need, it's difficult to understand why they don't need it.”
How do you keep the spark alive? Part of it involves keeping things interesting in your sex life — and one of the easiest ways to do that is by trying new locations and new positions. “Trying different positions implies a sense of curiosity and comfort in a sexual relationship, and some let you feel things differently,” Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle. “Don't think you have to try them all on one date (unless you're with someone who is as eager to do that as you might be),” they add. “Many people find there are several positions that become their go-tos, and they leave others on the table — that's OK! But it's great to try a variety because that's how you discover which suits you and your partner/s best.”
So, here are 31 sex positions — thirty freaking one. Use them as you please, whether you do a month-long challenge or just want a database of sex positions to have on hand. These are the best sex positions you can try with a partner — or two.
In A Chair
How to do it: While your partner sits in a chair, lower yourself down while facing them. You can bounce or grind on them, and it's a great position for dirty talk.
Why it's worth a try: An easy way to mix things up, this position has a kinky feel while still being super easy. “Choose a stable, sturdy chair, please,” urges Queen.
Cowgirl (Or Rider)
How to do it: Straddle your partner and slowly lower yourself down. You can lean forward and rest your weight in your hands or lean back instead, whichever is more comfortable.
Why it's worth a try: You get to be in total control in this one. You can go for some clitoral play or just enjoy setting the pace and providing much of the movement. “This can help build arousal higher for those who are accustomed to lying prone, on the bottom,” Queen says. “[This is] one more reason why so many cowgirls (or cowfolks) find it easier to orgasm in this position.”
Reverse Cowgirl (Or Reverse Rider)
How to do it: Lower down onto your partner but facing their feet. It's a sexy position, but because you can't see your partner's face, make sure they're comfortable — things can get messy quick. “A lot of times the direction of an erection can dictate which penetrative sex positions are feasible or not,” explains sex educator Lola Jean. “Add that to the list of reasons strap-on play is beneficial! Reverse cow-person is best for those who don’t have a more exaggerated north facing erection or dildo.”
Why it's worth a try: It's got all of the benefits of regular cowgirl, but with a kinky twist.
How to do it: It's just doggy style, but with an edge — a third partner playing with themselves. And of course, you can switch up the threesome sex positions so everyone gets a try.
Why it's worth a try: Hey, if you're going to mix it up, mix it way up. “Some people like watching, some like being watched! Ask each person what it is they enjoy out of their position and how they’d like to interact while in it,” says Jean. “Perhaps across the room doesn’t feel as intimate as right underneath both of your bodies.” A third party totally changes the dynamic.
Weak In The Knees
How to do it: One partner straddles the other's face and lowers down onto them. You can take turns controlling the pressure and play around with fingers and toys, as well as oral sex.
Why it's worth a try: Just go for it. “Face sitting is all the rage these days, but as playful as it may seem, this is a form of breath play! Be conscious of how many air pathways are being blocked and establish non-verbal communication (like pinching or multiple taps on the other person’s body) to signal when they need more air,” offers Jean. This is a position that is carnal in all the best ways. It's really intimate but also really sexy.
X Marks The Spot
How to do it: Laying toward the edge of the bed while your partner stands, rest your legs on their chest. Cross at the ankle or the knees, whichever is more comfortable.
Why it's worth a try: It's an unusual position where you both get a great view of what's happening. Plus, by playing around with how you cross your legs, you can mix up the intensity. “Crossing your legs tighter can add pressure that might feel really good,” notes Queen. “And if you think it could feel even better, this is an excellent position to add clit play.”
Doggy With Vibrator
How to do it: Go for doggy but add your favorite sex toy into the mix. You can control it or let your partner take the reins.
Why it's worth a try: It's all of the G-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation all at once. “This might be a great one to try wearable vibes with; face-to-face positions can sometimes shift or dislodge them, but this is less likely to do that,” Queen tells Bustle.
How to do it: Face your partner with your feet slightly apart, then slowly lift one leg over your partner's hip while you guide them inside of you. If you're new to this position, stay close to the bed or to a wall for balance.
Why it's worth a try: It's a tricky position, so you'll feel great when you nail it. “Standing sex gives you a whole new angle, but it can also activate muscles you aren’t used to using,” notes Jean. “Don’t be afraid to pop a leg or two into an over-the-door sex swing for support.” Plus, once you get the hang of it, it will be perfect for quickies.
How to do it: With your feet flat on the bed, lift your hips into the air. Your partner should be on their knees and can use their hands to help guide you. “This position requires far less muscular strength than balance oriented ones,” explains Jean. “Our hips are a strong part of the body. While it may be tempting to focus on up-and-down or in-and-out, try also experimenting with side to side and ‘around-the-world’ hip swings.”
Why it's worth a try: A great view, clitoral stimulation, and a glute workout — what more do you need?
How to do it: With your partner on top of you, you can play around with different leg positions or even put a pillow under your lower back to change the angle.
Why it’s worth a try: It's the old standby — and it deserves a spot on your sex bucket list. “People think of this as vanilla, but eye contact and dirty talk put the lie to that,” says Queen. Intimate, intense, and with plenty of ways to mix it up, there's a reason missionary is a favorite.
How to do it: Lay in the classic cuddle position, with your hips slightly higher than your partner's. If it's too tight of a fit, lube or lifting your top leg a bit can make all the difference.
Why it’s worth a try: It's a great position for the morning or when you're feeling lazy — it's cozy and intimate, but you can still get G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Queen says spooning is also “a much more accessible position for people with chronic pain or other mobility issues."
How to do it: Laying close to the edge of the bed, rest your legs on your partner's chest. Both of you should have your hands on your hips — and you can use your ankles to brace as they lift you just slightly off the bed. “Height differentials can make some penetrative sex positions tricky, so adding a bed (and blanket and pillows) can be a good equalizer,” suggests Jean.
Why it’s worth a try: “This position is great for the giver because they can use momentum to generate movement by pulling their person's hips into them,” Jean adds. It's unusual and it offers a great view for both of you. Plus, your partner does most of the work.
How to do it: You're on all fours with your partner behind you. “If you’re the receiver, you can bring your legs closer or widen them to adjust your height to match to your partner’s,” advises Jean. “You can also arch your back (think cow pose in yoga) to lengthen your pelvic floor and provide more depth. The opposite of that (cat pose in yoga) will shorten the pelvic floor, which you can adjust to hit one of your spots. Either party can drive in this position, with the giver staying still while the receiver backs into them or vice versa.”
Why it’s worth a try: If a vibrator isn't your thing, there's no reason you can't just stick with plain ol' doggy. “Doggy style is one of the most versatile and adjustable positions out there for both parties,” says Jean. It's intense and amazing.
One Person On Top
How to do it: With your partner leaning against the couch or wall, you'll want to climb on top them. They can lift their knees up for a more intimate feel. “Less is more here,” offers Jean. “[In] such a connected and close proximity position, you don’t have to move as much as you think you do. Focus on rocking as opposed to [moving] in and out.”
Why it’s worth a try: You're still in control, but it's a quieter and more intimate option than traditional cowgirl.
Coital Alignment Technique
How to do it: It's almost like missionary, but slide down a bit so you can grind against your partner’s pelvis. You can hook your legs around your partner’s calves and squeeze your legs to grind upward on each thrust. “This allows the bottom to pull the top up toward them; the goal is to get the penis (or dildo) riding higher and contacting the clit more directly,” Queen explains.
Why it’s worth a try: It's a great, missionary-type position for an orgasm since it ensures you'll get clitoral stimulation. “The combination of penetration, grinding, and squeezing — and releasing — can lead to powerful orgasms,” sexologist Jess O’Reilly previously told Bustle.
How to do it: Facing away from your partner, straddle one of their legs while they lift their knee up. Slowly lower yourself onto them, using lube if necessary. “You also don't have to open your knees as widely as you do with Cowgirls, since you are only straddling one leg,” notes Queen, “Another more mobility-friendly position.”
Why it’s worth a try: It's a great way to mix things up — you get to be in control and they get an amazing view of you.
How to do it: This position is similar to doggy, but you're performing oral instead. Of course, you'll want to make sure you both get a turn.
Why it’s worth a try: Mixing it up with some oral sex can be just as intense as penetration. This position allows each partner to provide undivided attention and focus on pleasuring the other while they can relax and enjoy it.
How to do it: You know the drill. You both perform oral on each other — but this version, lying on your sides, is a lot more comfortable than having one of you on top. While regular 69 is hot, it’s not the most practical, and the person on top might fatigue quickly.
Why it’s worth a try: You're both enjoying yourself, but in this 69 variation, you can stay there way longer.
How to do it: While your partner lays on their side, you should lay perpendicular to them with your knees over their hips. “For an added assist, do this near a wall or somewhere you can get steady leverage as the receiver,” Jean suggests. “Use that to push and pull to move your body.”
Why it’s worth a try: It's a relaxing option that's still unusual. Once you get it lined up properly, you can both just lay back and enjoy the ride.
How to do it: Your partner should sit down cross-legged, then you can lower yourself onto them. Once you're comfortable, then you can wrap your arms and legs around them for a more intimate feel.
Why it’s worth a try: Once you get into it, it's a relaxed and comfortable position that's perfect for grinding and deep penetration. “Lotus is also a really intimate and connected position — great for slow sex, eye contact, [and] upper-body touch,” Queen tells Bustle.
Advanced Crab Walk
How to do it: While your partner sits in the crab position, scoot your way over to them. Once you're comfortable, lift one leg at a time over their shoulders. Take your time. If needed, you might benefit from using a sex pillow or cushion so you’re not doing a tricep workout the whole time.
Why it’s worth a try: This is a sex position with a really unusual twist. If you can nail it, you'll feel like a rockstar — or at least a professional gymnast.
How to do it: Starting in missionary, your partner can sit back on their heels and then rise up while you rest one leg on their chest.
Why it’s worth a try: It's a great twist on missionary that should feel intense and still give you room for clitoral play. “This is a great move for those looking for deeper penetration,” adds Jean. “The elevated hips allow for deeper play and you can use the upright leg as a fulcrum to either control the depth or change the shape of the pelvic floor as it contracts.”
How to do it: Lie facing each other on the bed and make sure your hips are slightly higher than your partner's. Then, hike one leg over their hip while you guide them inside of you. “You can look into each other’s eyes to heighten intimacy and experience the feel-good pleasure of full body contact,” says sex coach Amy Levine.
Why it’s worth a try: It's an incredibly intimate position that feels like a hug, and once you get it right, you should be able to relax into it for as long as you like.
How to do it: While in missionary, lift your knees onto your partner's shoulders. If you're not very flexible, then take it one leg at a time.
Why it’s worth a try: It makes missionary so, so much more intense. “This is great for those that want to flaunt their breasts and experience G-spot stimulation simultaneously,” notes Levine. “It’s also helpful if you’ve had a long day and want to relax since it requires [the penetrating partner] to do most of the movement.”
How to do it: Think of it like doggy style, but with an added partner lying underneath. Make sure you mix it up so everyone gets some attention. “If you’re looking to do a penetration conga line, this is one that looks like it’s going to be much more difficult than it is,” says Jean. “Have the middle person first penetrate the bottom person before the caboose joins in. The caboose will likely dictate the rhythm, but it rumbles through the line like a wave!”
Why it’s worth a try: If two is good, three is better. There are different variations on how you can do this one. “This one is a safer sex challenge if the top plans to penetrate both bottom and middle,” says Queen. “Make your safety plans upfront!”
How to do it: On a sofa, rest your weight on the arm while your partner comes up behind you. “Check the stability of the sofa before you get busy,” warns Queen. “We don't want it falling over backwards from the power of your thrusts.”
Why it’s worth a try: It's like doggy, but more snug. Plus, the support of the sofa can make it feel less intense.
How to do it: It's missionary — but with a toy to really intensify the feeling. You can definitely apply this to other modifications of missionary and other positions altogether (duh!). Try a vibrating cock ring or couples toy.
Why it’s worth a try: Using a sex toy is a great way to have more orgasms during sex with a partner.
How to do it: Legs slightly apart, bend over while your partner enters you from behind. It's another position where you might want to stay near the wall or a bed so you don't topple over. Having something like a handrail to hold on to definitely helps.
Why it’s worth a try: If you get it right, it should be really intense, with great G-spot stimulation.
Backwards In A Chair
How to do it: Back to the chair. This time, face away from your partner and lower down — they can help guide you — and play around between bouncing and grinding. Again, to echo Queen’s words of wisdom, use a sturdy chair.
Why it’s worth a try: It's a kinky twist on the chair option, and it can feel like a more controlled version of reverse cowgirl. Plus, you can play with your clit while having your G-spot stimulated.
The Tag Team
How to do it: It's the butterfly position with someone straddling your face. There's a lot happening in this one, but it's all good.
Why it’s worth a try: Go big or go home. “For those who like to be overwhelmed with sensation and bodies, or if you just enjoy feeling a part of a team, this one has your name on it,” says Jean. You can get the intensity of stimulation and clitoral play, all while giving oral.
Mixing up sex positions keeps your sex life fresh, so if you feel like this area is lacking, it's worth trying out some new moves with your partner. Just stay hydrated, because there's a lot to try this month.
Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations
Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure
Lola Jean, sex educator, instructor, coach, and writer
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