Labor Day Weekend Means Summer Is Ending: How To Squeeze All of Summer Into 3 Days

If the summer officially starts with Memorial Day, then I think we can all agree it ends with Labor Day. That’s right: In America, you only have three months to make the most of your summer. If you fail, you have to wait nine whole months before you have another chance.

For those of you who didn’t live up to your personal expectations and dreams for an awesome summer, I’m sincerely sorry, because if you look at a calendar you’ll see some horrifying news: Labor Day is pretty much here. In other words, your summer is over and Superman isn’t going to show up and spin the earth backward to June just so you can do you right. You’re not Lois Lane. Again, I’m sorry.

If you happen to be one of those people whose summer was a bust (or you just want to do it all over again) then I’m here to help you. You can do all of summer over this coming Labor Day weekend. “Impossible,” you say? Oh, how wrong you are, my friend.

We’re going to start with Friday afternoon, to really make the most of it, and go right on through to Monday night. It’s going to be a blast. I promise.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON

First of all, you’re going to take a half-day. If you work at a company where Summer Fridays are simply part of the plan, then this is your last one until next year, so make sure you don’t hang around longer than you have to. If you work at one of those places that doesn’t believe in Summer Fridays (The horror!), then fake sick or some family drama around 12:30 pm and be out the door no later than 1 pm. Once you’re free, go directly to the closest park with some wine, a book, and your bikini.

FRIDAY NIGHT

Did someone say lobster? YES. If you’re too scared to cook your own lobster, you know, because the whole live lobster in boiling water thing, then find the closest place around that has lobster rolls. Summer was made for lobster, corn on the cob, and lemonade. For some reason, those things just as aren’t as delectable in the winter months.

After dinner, find an outside movie or concert that you can attend. There’s nothing like sprawling out under the stars on a blanket with a full belly.

SATURDAY

Go to the beach! Even if you don’t live near one of the glorious coasts of the world, I’m pretty sure you can find a lake or river where you spend the day in the sun, drinking summer ale (because we know this is probably your last weekend you’ll be able to buy it), and reading one of those books that is only OK as a “beach read.”

Swim in the ocean. Eat not one, but two ice creams from the ice cream truck. Play Frisbee or beach volleyball with your friends. Hell, make a whole day of it and stay until sunset. When was the last time you watched the sun set from the dunes of your favorite beach?

SATURDAY NIGHT

Enjoy some fireworks. With it being Labor Day weekend, you’ll easily be able to find firework displays going off all around you all weekend long. Make some homemade sangria, bring snacks, and settle in for the show.

SUNDAY MORNING

Have breakfast in a garden. I know, I know, the word “breakfast” isn’t in my vocabulary either, but we’re trying to make the most of these three days. Find a restaurant that has an outside garden and go there. Drink mimosas or whatever floats your boat, and enjoy one of your last weekends of iced coffee and iced tea.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Go to a baseball game! Nothing says summertime fun like ballpark food, overpriced bad beer, and heckling the opposing team. Drink a little too much. Why? Because you don’t have work tomorrow!

SUNDAY NIGHT

Don’t you just love a Sunday night that doesn’t really feel like a Sunday night, because you have Monday off? Since you’re already tipsy from your afternoon cheering, go to a carnival. Eat cotton candy and funnel cake. Ride the rollercoaster until you feel like you’re going to be sick. Go on the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars. Then eat more cotton candy.

MONDAY MORNING

Lounge around in bed, on your porch or on your stoop. If you have access to a hammock FOR GOD'S SAKE GO THERE. Finish reading your beach-read book.

MONDAY AFTERNOON

Head to one of the 10 cookouts to which you’ve been invited. Be the cool kid who doesn’t just bring their phenomenal potato salad, but also brings a Slip 'N Slide. Drink too much. Laugh too much. Get a dance party started. Don’t be shy to be the belle of ball.

MONDAY NIGHT

Say adieu by midnight. You do have work tomorrow, after all, so why be completely hungover? Just do your best to conveniently forget, for the moment, that your next long weekend isn’t until November. Honestly, that's the only way you'll be able to get through the week without crying.

Images: Giphy(9); Mlle-LeeLee/Tumblr