13 Things You Should Never Say To A Female 'Game of Thrones' Fan

You may have encountered a die hard Game of Thrones fan before — perhaps you actually are one of those individuals who cannot make any plans for ten Sundays between early April and mid June. Perhaps you staged a funeral in your apartment for the Starks after the debilitating Red Wedding. Perhaps you blasted "Happy" after Joffrey kicked the bucket. If you've done the above, it's likely that you're not alone — it often seems like everyone is a Game of Thrones fan, right?

Wrong. There are always a handful of people who are dismissive of the show, and who worse — and I cringe when I write this — turn their noses up at women who dig the show. What, like nerdy fantasy shows are strictly for boys? Come on. Girls can be geeks, too! And besides — fans of Game of Thrones (or Throne-heads, as I like to call my comrades), know that the show is about way, way, way more than bloody battles and dragons. The dragons are cool, but there's way more to the series than just that. It's about fucking people. No, not "fucking people" as in people having sex — and yes, there's plenty of that if that's your favorite flavor of television! — but human fucking beings interacting with one another as they fight for power and what they believe is right.

So if you're dismissive of the show in general — or if you just haven't jumped on the Westeros-bound boat yet, here's a pro tip: never say these things to a lady Game of Thrones fans. Fans of the show will likely agree.

Why Would You Want To Watch A Show About Incest?

GAAAH. The show isn't about incest. It's not called Game of Inbreeding. A kid catching an incestuous encounter is actually just a catalyst for a whole slew of action to begin. It's show about power, relationships, sex, war, and human interactions.

That Cersei Is Such A Bitch

OK. She may be vengeful and she may seem evil, but she's also a mother who has lost her son . Wouldn't that make a television character seek vengeance? Sure, she's super power hungry, but she's after something — she has an objective. Don't just call her a "bitch." That's so two-dimensional. And besides — if she was simply a bitch, do you think the Emmys would have tipped their hats to Lena Headey with a nomination?

It's About Sex And Guts

Obviously, you're watching the show without the sound, or you don't know how to distinguish the words "it's about" from "it features." Yeah, sex and guts are on the show, but it's not called Game of Porn. (If you want Game of Thrones that's solely about the porn, don't worry! There's something for ya!)

There Are No Strong Female Characters On The Show

Are you kidding?! Some of the most kick-ass characters on the show are women. In fact, one of them is a teenager — lookin' at you Arya Stark (Maisie Williams). And let's not forget Danaerys Targaryen, who is the personification of the act of dropping the mic.

I'm Sure Jon Snow Knows Something

It's a joke!

If You Can't Wait Til Season 5, Why Don't You Just Read The Books?

STOP. You don't understand. And while you're at it, please don't spoil the show for us sadistic non-book readers who wait ten months for a new season.

You Like The Show!? That Means You Didn't Have A Problem With That Rape Scene?!!

Actually, no, that doesn't mean that. Fans of the show were bothered — disgusted, really — when they saw that scene. It was despicable. Just because we love a show doesn't mean that we won't have occasional problems with it.

I Can't Watch The Show Because I Hate Lysa

Well, good news for you! She's dead! But also — that's part of Game of Thrones. You hate some of the characters to the point that they make you cringe, and you love others, and you don't really care about a handful of them (ahem, Bran Stark). And then you cross your fingers and hope that your favorite characters don't die. (Good luck with that one.)

I Watch The Show, And Don't Get Why Dany Would Bone Daario. Khal Drogo Had Such A Sick Beard.

It was a power play, and she flipped the show's usual sexual antics on its head. And lest we forget Daario #2's butt shot. (But okay, you're right. That was a pretty sick beard.)

It's dumb. It's nerdy. And it's for boys.

I'm so glad that you watched like 30 seconds of a trailer without sound or visuals. Where did you ever get into your head that a show about power is for boys?

I can't believe you were crying over a guy getting his eyes gauged out. How un-feminist of you.

Um, actually, how arbitrary of you to bring up "feminism." Everyone was simply reacting to good writing and good acting. If you have a pulse, good writing and good acting will make you feel things, no matter what your gender happens to be. I'm sorry that you're a stolid, unfeeling tree.

It's a Sunday in April at 9 PM and I'm hogging the television. Nothing pressing, just re-runs. But too bad! You'll have to wait!



Do you see the above? That's what you're doing to us all EMOTIONALLY, so seriously — STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. THAT'S CRUEL AND USUAL PUNISHMENT.

Images: HBO; Giphy (11); thefirstwomanonthewall/Tumblr; Ah-marzing/Tumblr