Jonathan Bennett Says ‘Mean Girls’ Reunion Won’t Happen But, Unlike Fetch, It Should Happen For These 9 Reasons
I thought that there was nothing more that I wanted in this world than a Friends reunion. That is, until I thought about the idea of a Mean Girls reunion. Don't get your hopes up yet though because, according to Jonathan Bennett, a Mean Girls reunion is "not going to happen." Despite what Bennett a.k.a. Aaron Samuels might have to say, I refuse to give up hope. I have compiled a list of 9 reasons why we need a Mean Girls reunion because Aaron Samuels clearly doesn't know what's up.
Though I could probably go on to list at least two or three thousand reasons why a Mean Girls reunion MUST happen but, because I don't want to reveal the full extent of my obsessive tendencies, I decided to just stick with 9 reasons so I could relate better to the rest of you normal people.
I would sacrifice my first born child for LiLo and the gang to perform a mondern-day rendition of the "Jingle Bell Rock" choreography that changed the world. I am being personally victimized by a lack of Regina George and that's a transgression that needs to be righted. It doesn't need to be a full sequel, it doesn't need to be anything elaborate, but a Mean Girls reunion needs to happen. Sorry, Aaron Samuels, but your attitude towards the reunion just ain't grool. Here is my carefully executed list of reasons why a Mean Girls reunion needs to happen.
We Need to See the Mean Girls in Contemporary Fashion
As much as I loved the tiny Louis Vuitton purses, Von Dutch trucker hats, and Tiffany choker necklaces of yesteryear, I would love to see the plastics take on contemporary fashion trends. I wanna see our leading ladies rocking high waisted jorts, crop tops, and mermaid hair.
Seeing the Plastics Use Contemporary Technology Would Be Hilarious
Imagine the fights the would occur under the comments section of Regina George's Instagram. Ponder the epic Snapchat stories the would be expertly crafted by the Mean Girls.
I Need Some New Plastic-Approved Slang
As much as I hate to admit it, the sun has officially set on 'grool.' I need a Mean Girls reunion so I can have a vocabulary full of more dope slang because I can't seem to pull off "on fleek" without sounding like a moron. I need more accessible slang stolen straight from the lips of Regina George because that's the slang that has gotten me by for the past eleven years.
It Would Be Good For the Careers of the Cast
Look, I get it. It's been 11 years since Mean Girls came out. I'm sure the cast is tired of being asked about it, especially the cast members who are still known best for their appearance in Mean Girls. But let's get real for a second. It doesn't seem like Lindsay Lohan has been up to much lately. I haven't really heard anything about Lacey Chabert recently. I only found out that Jonathan Bennett was the name of the guy who played Aaron Samuels on this very day. I know that Amanda Seyfried and Rachel McAdams have been very successful since their days in Evanston, Illinois but, for the rest of the cast, it seems like a Mean Girls reunion could help get them back into the spotlight.
It Would Be Easy to Do It On an Episode of SNL
The brilliant masterminds behind Mean Girls were some of our favorites from SNL. Mean Girls was produced by SNL creator Lorne Michaels, the screenplay was written by SNL favorite Tina Fey, and the cast also featured the familiar SNL faces of Amy Poehler, Tim Meadows, and Ana Gasteyer. How easy (and awesome) would it be to have an SNL short that was a Mean Girls reunion? It'd be short and sweet, it wouldn't take too much time for the cast members, and it would be greatly appreciated.
WE NEED MORE MEAN GIRLS QUOTES
Mean Girls quotes have become so ubiquitious that I often find myself using them without even realizing that I'm doing it. They're almost their own language, a code held sacred by fellow basic bitches everywhere. We need more Mean Girls quotes. WE MUST HAVE MORE MEAN GIRLS QUOTES.
We Need New Sex Ed Tips from Coach Carr for the Next Generation
I like to think we have grown up as a society a bit since 2004. Our youth are able to handle a more true-to-life sex education course, one that strays a bit from the fire-and-brimstone tactics of Coach Carr in Mean Girls. Don't worry, kids, if you have sex and use protection, you probably won't get chlamydia and die. We need up-to-date information from our favorite sex educator! Bring back Coach Carr!
I've Gone Far Too Long Without Damien
It's been ages since I've worked a good "Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!" into conversation. I can't remember the last time I dropped a "That's why her hair is so big... It's fulle of secrets." Clearly, I have gone too long without Damien in my life. Damien was ahead of the curve; he was the cool gay best friend before gay best friends were so highly coveted by straight girls everywhere. He was also comfortable with his sexuality and was a great example of loving yourself for who you are and not being afraid to be you. We NEED more Damien.
I Need a New Dance to Perform When I Get Drunk at Christmas Parties
It's high time for me to accept that my Christmas party rendition of the Jingle Bell Rock dance is old news. I need some new talent show level choreography to use to impress friends and co-workers after I've consumed my 7th Gin and Tonic. Merry Christmas to my audience. You're welcome.
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