7 Bombshell Revelations From Britney Spears’ 20-Minute Conservatorship Monologue

“My life has been far from easy, and you’re not alone.”

7 Revelations From Britney Spears’ Deleted 20-Minute Conservatorship Monologue
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Britney Spears is opening up more than ever before. On Aug. 28, the Grammy-winning singer posted — then quickly deleted — a 22-minute monologue on her YouTube page, in which she detailed her 13-year conservatorship from start to finish. “I woke up this morning and I realized that there's a lot going on in my head that I haven't really shared with anyone really,” she began. “I'm here honestly just to open myself to others and try to shed a light on — if anyone out there has ever gone through hardships — just to put a light on it so that person doesn't feel alone because I really know what that feels like.”

The now-deleted YouTube video comes just days after the release of her first single in six years, the Elton John duet “Hold Me Closer,” which also marks her first new music as a free woman since the conservatorship was terminated in November 2021. She concluded her audio recording by stating her gratitude for the collaboration. “I have an amazing song right now with one of the most brilliant men of our time, and I’m so grateful,” she said. “But if you’re a weird, introvert oddball, like me, who feels alone a lot of the time, and you needed to hear a story like this today so you don’t feel alone, know this: my life has been far from easy, and you’re not alone.”

Read everything we’ve learned from Spears’ monologue below.

1. Britney Has Rejected Interview Offers — Even From Oprah

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In her audio recording, Spears said she’s received “tons of opportunities,” including a long-rumored interview with Oprah Winfrey, to share her story on a larger platform, but she has yet to accept any of those offers as she feels weird about accepting money. “I really don’t think any of that is relevant, getting paid to tell your story,” she said. “I feel like it’s kind of silly. I have offers to interview with Oprah and so many people, lots and lots of money, but it’s insane. I don’t want any of it. For me, it’s beyond a sit-down, proper interview.”

However, the singer is now choosing to speak out via her social media platforms in order to heal from her experiences, explaining that she was previously afraid of the thought. “I’ve always been scared of the judgment and definitely the embarrassment of the whole thing, period, and the skepticism and the cynical people,” she said. “[I'm] in a place now where I’m a little bit more confident that I can be willing to share openly my thoughts and what I’ve been through.” Spears will continue to tell her story in further detail through her upcoming tell-all book, which is set to be published by Simon & Schuster in a “record-breaking” multi-million dollar deal.

2. Britney Says The Conservatorship Was “Premeditated” By Her Family

Spears recalled the beginnings of her conservatorship, explaining that she still doesn’t “know what really I did” to this day that led to her 2008 hospitalization which seem to have kick-started the legal arrangement. “None of it made sense to me,” she explained. “I literally spoke in a British accent to a doctor to prescribe my medication, and three days later, there was a SWAT team at my home, three helicopters. I remember my mom’s best friend and my two girlfriends, we had a sleepover the night before. They held me down on a [gurney]. The extent of my madness was playing chase with paparazzi, which is still to this day one of the most fun things I ever did about being famous, so I don't know what was so harmful about that.”

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The singer went on to allege that her conservatorship was “premeditated” by her family and an unspecified woman. Fans suspect that Spears is referring to her former business manager Lou Taylor, who Spears’ lawyer has accused of having a role in creating the conservatorship. (Taylor has denied any involvement in its creation). “A woman introduced the idea to my dad, and my mom actually helped him follow through and made it all happen," she said. “It was all basically set up. There (were) no drugs in my system, no alcohol, nothing — it was pure abuse. And I haven’t even shared really half of it.”

Spears’ father Jamie became her primary conservator after the arrangement was made official, and she alleged that “he loved to control everything” she did. “I remember the first day, he said, ‘I’m Britney Spears and I’m calling the shots,’ and I’m like, ‘Alrighty then,’” she said.

3. Britney Says She Was Called Fat “Every Day”

Spears reflected on her experience working through her conservatorship, saying her first jobs after being “traumatized” by her hospitalization were recording her 2008 album Circus and guest-starring on How I Met Your Mother. She went on to record three more studio albums and undergo a four-year Las Vegas residency starting in 2013. “All I do remember is I had to do what I was told,” she said. “I was told I was fat every day. I had to go to the gym. I never remember feeling so demoralized and just, they made me feel like nothing. And I went along with it because I was scared and fearful.”

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She called her performances during this time “horrible” and said “living under my father’s rules” in her 30s eventually got to her. “I was just like a robot honestly,” she said. "I just didn't give a f*ck anymore because I couldn't go where I wanted to go, I couldn't have the nannies that I wanted to have, I couldn't have cash, and it was just demoralizing. I was kind of in this conspiracy of people claiming and treating you like a superstar, but yet they treated me like nothing.”

4. Britney Found A “Spark” In 2016, Which Scared Her Team

Spears said she “started to get a spark back” while recording her 2016 album Glory and slowly started vocalizing her creative demands, but she was still afraid to speak out too much. “I think with confidence comes enlightenment, which makes you think better, and that’s the last thing they wanted me to do – was to actually be better, ’cause then, who would be in control then?” she said. “But it was really tricky because I just had to play this role that everything was OK all the time and I had to go along with it because I knew they could hurt me.”

Eventually, as she previously explained in a June 2021 court testimony, she became emboldened enough to reject a dance move during rehearsals for her second planned Las Vegas show, which she claims got her sent to a rehab facility against her will. After it was revealed that she checked into a treatment center, the #FreeBritney movement was born.

5. Britney Said She Had To Be Let Out Of Her Facility Due To #FreeBritney

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During Spears’ rehab stint, fans started the #FreeBritney movement after suspecting that she was being held against her will at a rehab center. Spears confirmed as much in her 2021 testimonies and affirmed in her new video that she did not want to go to rehab, but checked into a facility after her father allegedly threatened legal action, claiming he told her: “Now, you don’t have to go, but if you don’t go, we’re gonna go to court and there’ll be a big trial and you’re gonna lose. I have way more people on my side than you. You don’t even have a lawyer. So don’t even think about it.”

However, Spears revealed that the owner of the treatment center was forced to let her out in public to quell the online chatter. “He had to let me go because the #FreeBritney campaign came out with all the pink t-shirts,” she recalled. “I saw it on a lot of the morning shows and people (spreading it) by word-of-mouth and just by my fans knowing by heart that something was up.”

6. Britney Had A “Secret Relationship” & Planned To Leave The Country

Toward the end of her monologue, Spears shared that she had a “secret relationship” with an unidentified man at an unspecified time during the conservatorship, and at one point, they were planning to flee the U.S. “I was talking to a guy, and he wanted to just leave the country with me,” she recalled. “We had it all set up to just leave, and it was a secret relationship.”

Spears ended up backing out because she feared her team “would lock me up or really hurt me,” but recalled that one of her former assistants urged her to go through with the plan, reportedly telling her, “Are you kidding me, Britney? Your dad would never do that to you.” However, she said that assistant was quickly proven wrong when she was sent to the treatment center.

7. Britney Said Her Family’s Lack Of Support Was “The Main Thing” That Hurt Her

While Spears was grateful for the fans that fought for her freedom, she reiterated how hurt she was by her mother Lynne and sister Jamie Lynn, who she’s previously spoken out against, for not standing up for her against Jamie. “The whole thing that made it really confusing for me is, these people are on the street fighting for me but my sister and my mother aren’t doing anything,” she said. “To me it was like they secretly, honestly, liked me being the bad one, like I was messed up and they kind of liked it that way. Otherwise, why weren’t they outside my doorstep saying, ‘Baby girl, let’s get in the car, let’s go?’ I think that’s the main thing that hurt me. I couldn't process how my family went along with it for so long, and their only response was, ‘We didn't know.’”

After Spears deleted the monologue, Lynne responded to her daughter on Instagram, sharing a black-and-white throwback photo of the pair. “Britney, your whole life I have tried my best to support your dreams and wishes!” she wrote. “I have tried my best to help you out of hardships! I have never and will never turn my back on you! Your rejections to the countless times I have flown out and calls make me feel hopeless! I have tried everything. I love you so much, but this talk is for you and me only, eye to eye, in private.” Spears has yet to respond to her mother’s post.