Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: Me and my partner made up, but I still can't get over the fight. How do I move past it?
A: That’s truly the worst feeling. Even if you both apologized and agreed to move on, it doesn’t mean you’ll magically forget everything that was said during an argument. If you had a moody text exchange that lasted for days or a heated conversation in which choice words were exchanged, it can definitely take a while to cool off and get back to normal.
Making up with your partner is a great place to start. Hopefully, you’re both mature enough to apologize, admit your wrongs, and maybe even reach a compromise. If the fight revolved around insecurities, maybe you put some boundaries in place. If there was a misunderstanding, maybe you both agreed to work on your communication.
If you kissed, made up, but still can’t stop fuming, it suggests there’s something cooking beneath the surface. Perhaps it’s a concern left unsaid or a problem that feels too scary to name. Here’s what the cards have to say.
Why Can’t I Get Over The Fight?
The Ten of Wands represents major burdens, responsibility, and a need for balance. If you can’t stop thinking about the fight you had with your partner, it’s likely because you feel as if you had to compromise more than they did in order to reach a truce — and now you’re salty about it.
In the moment, you might’ve brushed a few concerns under the rug for the sake of moving on, but now that you’ve had a few days to think about it you’re like, “Hey, wait a minute!” It also suggests something came up in the fight that’s been a recurring problem for years. Even if you talked about it, there’s a good chance something is still unresolved.
It’ll be even more annoying if your partner seems totally unbothered by it all. It shows they aren’t carrying the same type of burden, and it can make you feel alone and misunderstood in your relationship. No wonder you haven’t been able to sleep.
How Can I Move Past It?
The Nine of Wands further confirms that your hurt feelings stem from something left unsaid, like a wound from the past. This card suggests you put up walls as a way to cope, and that you have leftover anger. To truly get over the fight, you’ll need to be 100% honest.
Even if you’re trying your damndest to avoid opening a can of worms by speaking up, you owe it to yourself to sit down with your partner and get everything out in the open. It’ll be stressful, but it’s actually a win-win situation.
By venting all your anger and sadness, you’ll give your partner a chance to apologize and support you in moving on. If they can do that, it’ll be easier to enjoy your relationship. If they can’t do that for you, then you’ll know the connection isn’t worth it.
Again, it’s so scary to think that a real, honest conversation could lead to a breakup, but that’s so much better than having anger brewing for months and years to come. Here’s hoping they hear you out, give you a hug, and help your relationship get back on track.
For more, check out your horoscope.
