When it comes to making out, there is no "perfect" way to do it. But there are definitely some things that can go wrong when kissing. Whether it's a simple mistake (like forgetting to pop a mint) or something more shocking (like unexpectedly biting your partner's lip) there are quite a few things to consider if you want your kissing sesh to go well.
Of course, what's hot and what's not is all a matter of opinion. You, for example, may positively live for sloppy kisses while the same may be someone else's worst nightmare. The thing to keep in mind — especially when kissing a new partner — is it doesn't have to go well the first few times. It often takes awhile to get used to kissing someone new, so you should feel free to relax and focus on having fun.
"The beginning of a relationship is a really exciting time where you are figuring out so many different facets of your partner and kissing is no exception," says NYC-based relationship and wellness coach Shula Melamed, MA, MPH. With that in mind, read on for some things you should try to avoid if you want to make out like a pro.
1. Kissing Off Your Lipstick
Nothing's more annoying than perfectly applying lipstick, only for it to smear off on your partner when kissing. That's why, as Three Day Rule matchmaking expert Nikki Hurst tells me, you should do a test run first. Make sure your new lippy doesn’t crack, dry out your lips, or transfer. Then you can go forth and kiss with confidence.
2. Forgetting To Pop A Mint
While it may be more comfortable to kiss your long-term partner with less-than-fresh breath, it's not always a great idea with someone new. That's why Hurst suggests popping a mint first, especially if you just ate a ton of garlic. Because again, it's all about ensuring you have lots of confidence.
3. Never Thinking About The Other Person
When making out, it's easy to get swept up in your own world. But you should (obviously) think about your partner, too. "Going at your own pace and intensity without acknowledging how your kiss is being received is a no-no," says Melamed. It can make your partner feel like a "tongue receptacle," and that's not cool.
4. Using Too Much Saliva
Like I said above, some people live for extra sloppy kisses. But others don't like it at all. Some people even consider it a major turn off, Melamed tells me. So until you know what's up, it's best to try to keep your spit to yourself.
5. Darting Your Tongue In And Out
Do you French kiss by quickly darting your tongue in and out of your partner's mouth? While that can be OK, some people may find it a bit distracting, Melamed tells me. It's often too fast and can thus take your partner out of the sensual moment.
6. French Kissing Right Away
While it may be tempting to French kiss immediately, try to hold back at first and gauge what your partner wants. "It’s important to take your partner’s kissing temperature by easing your way in, instead of forcing it," couples therapist and dating coach Samantha Burns tells Bustle. I promise they'll appreciate it.
7. Forgetting About The Rest Of Their Body
Some people like to focus solely on their partner's lips when kissing. But it's important to remember there's a whole body attached, too. "That means using your arms to hold them close, putting one of your hands on their face, or running it through their hair," Burns says. It really can take your kissing game to the next level.
8. Biting Too Hard (And Unexpectedly)
If your partner is into it, biting or nibbling their lips can be super sexy. But this isn't always the case, especially if you do so too fast or unexpectedly. That's why, as Burns tells me, it's a good idea to test the waters and then build up from there.
9. Using Too Much Pressure
While it can be sexy to kiss forcefully, it's not the only way to be kiss passionately, psychiatrist and relationship expert Ayo Gathing, MD tells me. And it can even be a letdown. "Using too much pressure while kissing can be a major turn off as it may actually hurt the other person or shut down their ability to participate in the action," she says. Never a good thing.
10. Not Using Enough Tongue
If you've ever received a tight close-mouthed kiss, then you know it can be all sorts of disappointing. As Gathing says, "Not using enough tongue can leave your partner wanting more." So go ahead and slip it in for just a second, and see how they respond. Again, you can always build up from there.
11. Letting Your Nerves Get The Better Of You
You're certainly allowed to be nervous. And yet, when it comes to kissing, confidence really is key. "Being too timid in the kiss can be a turn off," sex and intimacy coach Tiffany Yelverton tells Bustle. "Make it count. Confidence is sexy."
Get in there and do your thing, but remember that kissing is all about balance. As you and your partner get to know each other, you'll figure out what feels best.
Images: Pexels (11); Unsplash, Matheus Ferrero
