11 Surprising Differences Between Needing Space Vs. Falling Out Of Love With Your Partner

It's healthy for couples to create space in a relationship. But you'll know you're falling out of love if you don't bother to discuss this need with your partner, or consider how they might feel about it.

Instead, you'll move forward with whatever feels right for you. "You start making unilateral decisions that only consider what is in your best interest versus what is in the best interest of both partners," therapist Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT, tells Bustle.

If you were still in love, you'd approach your partner and be honest about your need for a little space, and include them in the process of establishing a few healthy boundaries.

"When you need a little space in a relationship, but are still in love, you enjoy doing things on your own (whether it’s hanging out with friends, reading a book, or going for a walk) but [would] still rather share important moments with your partner and love being in their company," Irina Baechle, LCSW, relationship therapist and dating coach, tells Bustle.

Once you see your friends, read the book, or go on the trip — and get your much-needed dose of alone time — you return to your usual routine feeling refreshed and happy to spend time with your partner.

Taking a little time for yourself doesn't mean blocking your partner from your life, or acting like they don't exist while you're away. It simply means setting up a boundary, and focusing on yourself for a while.

So it may be a sign you're falling out of love if you're becoming distant, and don't really care. "You begin the emotional detachment, which leads to behavioral detachment, which manifests in engaging in solo activities and pursuing individual interests that exclude your partner," Dr. Alsaleem says.

Instead of simply creating space and having a little downtime, you may even stop viewing yourself as a part of a couple.

It's great if your partner enjoys your company, but you may need space if they've been overdoing it lately.

"While you like being close, and spending time with them, you may just want them to give you space so you do not feel suffocated," relationship expert and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport, tells Bustle.

Maybe they text you 24/7, or spend every single weekend with you. If that doesn't feel right, let them know. Healthy relationships are all about setting up boundaries. If you're willing to be honest about your needs, it's a sign you still love them.

"Needing a little room in a relationship is normal," Baechle says. "However, if you are not enjoying your partner's company, don’t respect them, and don’t want intimacy anymore, you may be falling out of love."

Of course, all couples go through ups and downs when it comes to intimacy, including how it pertains to their sex life. But if you've talked about it, worked on the issue as a couple, and still don't feel a desire for connection, you may be falling out of love.

As relationships go on, many couples fall into unhealthy patterns, such as expecting too much of each other, or spending every waking moment together. So if you're feeling a little cramped, you may want to break that cycle by asking for some space, Rappaport says.

Breaking the cycle, possibly by creating more space, shows you actually want the relationship to work.

There's a big difference between needing space on occasion, and simply not wanting to talk to your partner. So if the latter is true, take note, as it may be a sign you're checking out.

"If you are falling out of love with your partner, you may just want them to leave you alone, even when you don’t need space," Rappaport says. "You may find that you get stressed when they are around you."

Let's say you've been craving some alone time, and decide to go on a trip, or spend an evening by yourself. Do you find that you miss your partner? Does the time away give you a fresh perspective (and appreciation) for your relationship?

"If you take the space and realize you miss the person more than you thought you would, then you are probably still in love," Caitlyn Paltsios, relationship expert at Grapevine Gossip, tells Bustle. "A little space can make the heart grow fonder."

On the flip side, "if you decide to take some space and enjoy it more than you thought you would, it may mean that you are falling out of love," Paltsios says.

Of course, it's totally possible to have a great time by yourself, and still love your partner. Plenty of couples value spending time alone, and it has no negative impact on their relationship.

But if you find "there are more positives when you are apart rather than together, that is a [...] sign that you may need to end the relationship," Paltsios says.

Remember, spending time apart isn't a bad thing. And it's perfectly OK to maintain separate lives outside of your relationship.

"If you’ve been with your partner for awhile, it can sometimes feel like you’ve lost your individual identity," Bennett says. "That can lead to wanting your own hobbies and accomplishments. This is normal and not indicative of any relationship problems."

"One of the biggest signs you’ve fallen out of love is that you and your partner basically live separate lives," Bennett says. "This occurs when 'alone time' becomes so frequent that you are pretty much disconnected from all of your partner’s hobbies, interests, and time."

Of course, the only person who will know how you feel, is you. Needing some alone time can be perfectly natural and healthy, but it can also be a sign you're falling out of love. To figure it out, talk with your partner, and do some introspection — and you'll eventually be able to zero in on what you truly need.