When you're a beginner, sex can feel really overwhelming, so there's no shame in finding some easy sex positions to help you find your feet. It takes time to learn what you like, what your partner likes, and even just how things fit together sometimes. And don't even get me started on what to do with your hands if you're on top. I may never get that right. I've just sort of given up.
If you're not sure where to start, just remember that one of the most important things is to slow down and allow yourself to relax. “One of the best things to do when your partner has limited sexual experience is to pay attention to your pace,” Tristan Weedmark, global passion ambassador for We-Vibe tells Bustle. “There’s no reason to rush into something in bed that might provoke anxiety. Read your partner’s body language and stay mindful of how quickly you’re moving.” And if you're both new to it that's no problem— you can discover what you like together.
So take it slow with positions that won't be too challenging, moves where you can focus on figuring things out, and positions that feel intimate, safe and connected. Here are some great ones to try if you're a beginner:
How To Do It: Laying on your sides and facing each other, move slightly higher up on the bed— so your hips are above your partner's. Wrap your top leg around them and guide them inside of you. Lube can help if it's an awkward fit.
Why It's Great For Beginners: If you're new, you're going to be in tune with your partner to make sure you're both comfortable. This is an intimate position that you can relax into — with deep penetration.
How To Do It: If you start in missionary, have your partner move their hips higher up the bed while you wrap your legs around them. This will give you a lot more stimulation than traditional missionary.
Why It's Great For Beginners: Missionary is a great go-to for beginners, but this variation is a better position for orgasm. Plus, you're both in a comfortable position to just focus on each other and make sure you're both getting what you need.
3. On Top (Modified)
How To Do It: Have your partner lean against the wall or a couch while you straddle them and lower down. For even more closeness, they can bend their knees so they're helping prop you up.
Why It's Great For Beginners: On top is a great position, but some women feel a little exposed or uncomfortable — especially when they're inexperienced. This allows you to be in control, but with a more intimate and connected option.
How To Do It: Rest on your hands and knees and spread your legs so your partner can kneel behind you. You may need your legs further apart or closer together, depending on your height differences.
Why It's Great For Beginners: Even though you're new, you may like more intensity. This position lets you experiment with deeper penetration and leaves a hand free for clit play.
5. Modified Doggy
How To Do It: Either transition from doggy style down onto your elbows, or start by laying on your stomach. A pillow under your hips can help you find the right angle.
Why It's Great For Beginners: If doggy is too intense for you, this is softer— but just as sexy. It's also great for any whispering or dirty talk you want to try.
How To Do It: Lay in the spooning position with your hips above your partner's. Lift your top leg slightly so your partner can enter you. If it's an awkward fit, try some lube.
Why It's Great For Beginners: Another option for G-spot stimulation, but this is the most comfortable one. Once you get the fit right, you can just enjoy it.
How To Do It: Once you're feeling more comfortable and a bit more confident, you can go for full cowgirl. Straddle your partner and guide them inside you. You can always use your hands to help balance.
Why It's Great For Beginners: You can lean forward, back, bounce, grind, etc. It's a great position for a beginner to learn what they like, and it offers great views and eye contact.
If you're a beginner, there's no shame in taking your time to figure out what you like. Move slow and follow what feels good — there's plenty to choose from.