If you find that you and your partner bicker more than you like and aren't on the same page in regards to how you show and receive love, it could be that you two know your love languages. According to marriage counselor and pastor, Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. Also, according to his theory which he published in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate in 1995, each of us speaks only one love language, which tells us how we feel loved in relationships. It's not required that you speak the same one, but knowing yours — and your partner's — could be incredibly helpful in your relationship.
“I believe the relationship theory of love languages are very relevant to finding your perfect match, but not in the way that most people assume,” senior matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin tells Bustle. “People do not need to speak the same love language to succeed as a couple, rather they need to understand the love language their significant other speaks… [but] if it happens to be you speak the same love language, that is significantly easier!”
If you've realized you're in a relationship with someone whose love language is quality time, you might need some help in the gift-giving department. Here are seven ideas to get your brain churning in the right direction.
1. Plan A Romantic Weekend Away
Whether it's just for the night at a hotel in town for a change of scenery or jetting off to Paris for the weekend at the last minute, if your partner's love language is quality time, then this gift is sure to be a winner. It makes no difference if you're in a dilapidated shack in the middle of the woods or the George V in Paris, it's the quality time together that truly matters.
2. Take A Class Together
Taking a hands-on class together is also a great gift in more than one way. You're not only spending time together, but you're learning something new. Although I would suggest a sex class, like Babeland's Art of the Blow Job class that I took and really loved (because who doesn't want to improve their blow job skills?), any class will do as long as you're together.
If sex classes aren't your thing, then seriously consider a cooking class instead — good food is the only thing in the world that rivals sex in how great it is.
3. Dedicate A Chunk Of Every Day To Being Technology-Free
In a world where we're all so effing obsessed with our phones, to someone who's love language is quality time, shutting off the damn phone is probably the greatest gift you can give them. Especially if you give this gift with the promise of making it a daily thing. Even an hour a day, without the distraction of the phone, computer, TV, all of it, won't just make your partner happy, but it will help keep your relationship healthy.
4. Set Up The Same Sleep Schedule
You may think that sharing a bed with your partner is enough, but if their love language is quality time, then a gift they'll truly cherish is setting up the same sleep schedule. Granted, getting up at the same time might not be feasible because of work and as far as sharing the bathroom is concerned, but going to sleep at the same time is definitely a step in the right direction. You're not just giving each other time to talk right before bed, but cuddle, too. Cuddling releases dopamine and serotonin, which relaxes the body, something you definitely want if you're going to get a good night's rest.
5. Take A Road Trip
When was the last time you went on a road trip? It's definitely been a while, hasn't it? Being stuck in a car for a few days or, if you have the time, a few weeks with your main squeeze won't just give your partner the quality time they want, but will also test your relationship on so many levels. Not that your relationship needs testing, of course. But if your relationship can survive a week in a car, then it can survive anything — even the zombie apocalypse, and that's good thing to realize sooner rather than later.
6. A Box Set Of Their Favorite Movies Or Albums
The easiest way to spend quality time with your quality time loving partner? By setting aside hours to watch their favorite movies or just lounge around listening to their favorite band with them. Even if you're not the biggest Pink Floyd fan or can honestly do without seeing another installment of Star Wars for as long as you live, it's a sacrifice you make when you're in love with someone who needs to know they're loved by you through spending lots of time with you.
7. Make Date Night A Weekly Thing
No matter what you choose to do with date night, just make sure it's set in stone every single week. Even if that day is different each week to accommodate your work schedules, just make sure it happens. Quality time in front of the TV is great and everything, but quality time during date night is even better. You know, because you can communicate, something which is paramount in relationships.
When you think about it, gift-giving for a partner whose love language is quality time is actually pretty easy. As long as they're with you, they're happy as a clam. But while that may be the case, it doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort to spice it up a bit and take that quality time off the couch and out into the world every once in awhile.