9 Date Ideas That Will Make Both Introverts And Extroverts Happy
You’re dating and met someone you really like… however, then you realize your idea of a fun date is different than theirs. Perhaps you’re an extrovert and they’re an introvert, or vice-versa. Many such couples have successful relationships, but it’s all about understanding what each person wants and needs. And, in actuality, there are several date ideas that’ll make both introverts and extroverts happy.
Adam C. Earnheardt, Ph.D., chair and professor of the Department of Communication at Youngstown State University is an extrovert and has been with his introvert wife for more than 20 years. “I really think these kinds of pairings are best suited for long-term relationship success,” he tells Bustle. “Keeping lines of communication open is important, which is something that may be a little difficult for new couples, but all it takes a lot of good conversation and negotiation.”
When it comes to where to go on dates, Susan Golicic, Ph.D., certified relationship coach and co-founder of Uninhibited Wellness, says compromising is key. “Where to go really requires a conversation between the two of you as to what places fuel you both (beyond the more group setting for extroverts and quiet setting for introverts),” she tells Bustle. “For instance, you can go to a quiet dinner first, then somewhere more extrovert-friendly. That way, you’ll both get what you need.”
Extrovert Or Introvert?
Of course, only you know what date venues make you the happiest, and some will be better suited to your personality than others. If you’re not sure if you’re more an extrovert or an introvert, you can always take the Meyers-Briggs test so you can figure out your personality type, and you can even do the test online.
Without further ado, here are nine date ideas that are perfect for introvert-extrovert couples, according to relationship experts.
1. Pub Trivia
Pub trivia is great for both extroverts and introverts since you’ll have alone time and people time all in one. “It’s often a good mix of being social and around people with plenty of time for an introverted person to focus on time with their partner or team,” David Bennett, counselor and relationship expert with Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle.
2. Go To Dinner, Then Dancing
Jessica Cline, psychotherapist at Cline Counseling & Consulting, LLC, specializing in relationship therapy/coaching with experience working with introverts and HSPs, feels that dinner-and-dancing is a great introvert-extrovert date. “Go out for a quiet romantic dinner and then take dance lessons afterwards,” she tells Bustle. “The advantage of having the higher energy activity last is that, when it is over — and possibly when the introvert is hitting the point of too much arousal — the evening ends at home, giving the introvert an opportunity to recharge.”
3. Go To A Bar, Then Stargaze Or Watch Airplanes
Another extrovert-introvert date idea is going to a bar (whether it’s a low-key one or a more crowded one), then doing something lower-energy. “Go to a pub, with or without friends, and then take a blanket somewhere quiet to look at the stars or go near the airport to look at the planes taking off and landing,” Cline says. The order of events can also be reversed, she says, depending on if you stargaze or airplane-watch. Plus, there are phone apps, like SkyView, that can help you find stars and constellations.
4. Go To An Amusement Park
While amusement parks may be full of crowds, they won’t be if you don’t go on peak days or times. And, even if you do, you can still find areas to be alone. “Amusement parks offer a chance to do a lot of things privately as a couple, such as riding roller coasters as a pair,” Bennett says. “However, they also have shows, concerts, and plenty of opportunities to be around people.”
5. Go To Happy Hour, Followed By A Quiet Dinner
Happy Hours are fun not only because of the great food and drink deals, but also because of all the energy in the room. Dr. Golicic suggests going to Happy Hour at a hip, crowded bar, followed by dinner at a quiet restaurant. “The extrovert will love the scene at the Happy Hour, and the introvert will be rewarded with a quiet dinner,” she says.
6. Double Date With Another Couple At A Coffee Shop, Followed By Live Music
Cline suggests planning a double date with the introverted partner’s friends. “This can be an excellent way to meet the needs of both partners,” she says. “The introvert often feels ‘at home’ with their friend and does not feel pressure to engage in small talk, while the extrovert will enjoy getting to know new people.” She says to make sure the date activities please everybody, and says that a unique coffee shop, followed by live music, would work well.
7. Go To A Comedy Or Action Movie
In introvert-extrovert partnerships, seeing a comedy or action movie is a good compromise, too, Dr. Golicic says. “The extrovert will appreciate a movie if it is something that the crowd gets into (e.g., laughing out loud and collective reactions) while the introvert will appreciate that they don’t have to interact with anyone but their partner.”
8. Bike Ride To And From A Social Event
The key to a successful introvert-extrovert date is compromise, so combining a walk or bike ride with a more high-energy activity is a good idea. “Bike riding or walking to and from an event is a great way to combine some low-key alone time as a couple before and after a larger event,” Bennett says. “This gives the introverted partner time to warm up and wind down from social time.”
9. Go On A Trip Together
While traveling with a date is a big step, you can start with a day out of town or overnight trip before you go on a full-on vacation. No matter what you choose, a trip will meet the needs of both the introvert and extrovert, Cline says. “Travel — as long as it isn’t too stressful — can often be downtime for the introvert, and being somewhere new is often exciting for extroverts,” she says. “While on a trip, you’ll have a lot of options, from something intense like ziplining, followed by something less intense, like a couples massage.”
After reading the above, hopefully you have plenty of inspiration when it comes to introvert-extrovert date ideas. Of course, you can probably think of many more date combinations, too.
“The trick for me has always been to listen to my wife’s needs about crowded spaces and public events,” extrovert Dr. Earnheardt tells Bustle. “It took me a while to learn, but it’s actually physically and emotionally draining for her to be ‘on’ for other people, as it is for most introverts.” He and his wife even have a “safe word/phrase” when they are out socially and she’d like to leave, which is a genius idea.
“Healthy relationships are not without conflict, but are, rather, how couples navigate conflict,” Cline says. “Dating someone with a different temperament can lend itself to meeting the needs of only one partner, when, in reality, with careful planning, dates can encompass the needs of both individuals. Introverts and extroverts can become complimentary partnerships.”
For dates, Cline recommends having a lower arousal activity and a higher energy one, so both people’s needs are met. “The timing of these activities is important and may be different for each couple, which is why it is important to communicate openly about each person’s experience and needs.”
Once again, communication is a big factor when it comes to figuring out the most ideal dates for you and partner.