Although it shouldn't hurt to have sex, as it's supposed to be pleasurable, as many as three-quarters of women report having painful sex at some point in their lives, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. While the reasons for this painful sex vary, anything from dryness to endometriosis to untreated STIs to a handful of other reasons, the point is painful sex exists for some women — and that's a problem, because everyone deserves pleasure. Fortunately, sex toys for painful sex can help provide some relief.
"It's both surprising and unsurprising that 75 percent of women will have painful sex in their lifetime, but the collective silence around it causes so many of us to not even speak up to a parter or professional — and just deal with it," Emily Sauer, Ohnut's CEO and founder, tells Bustle. "But new products allow us to take matters into our own hands, to feel worthy and capable of enjoyable sex, and to learn about our bodies instead of just saying 'he's too big.' It's time for a change in the way we speak up for ourselves and one another, because let's be honest — who hasn't had pain during sex?"
Whether you experience painful sex regularly or just occasionally, it doesn't mean you should go without. Instead, here are nine sex toys to help you out.
For those whose painful sex is rooted in deep penetration, for whatever reason, Ohnut puts an end to that. The rings allow partners to still enjoy penetration, but at a comfortable level for whosever on the receiving end. Ohnut describes their product as feeling "like a gentle hug," and something that takes the worry out of penetration so partners can focus on pleasure and intimacy.
2. Eva II
For some women, painful sex is because of vaginal dryness. Women can become dry for a myriad of reasons: medication, stress, menopause, and, of course, not being sufficiently aroused.
We must always remember that, unlike those with penises, vaginas don't go from zero to 60 in just a few seconds; it takes, on average, 20 minutes for a vagina to become fully aroused. Because of this, wearable vibrators like Eva II, can get you to a place of arousal and keep you there during penetration. Also, never forget the lube. A lot of pain can be alleviated by using lube.
3. Vaginal Trainer Set
Vaginal Trainer Set
As a way to help with painful intercourse, Vaginismus.com, a resource for people with the pelvic floor disorder, created a trainer set for the vagina. With the first dildo starting as small as a tampon, you can gradually make your way up in size. This trainer set can be used solo, as you try to become more comfortable with each size, or the experience can be shared with a partner. But, once again, don't forget the lube and, because it is going in the vagina, don't rush it. Take it all step by step.
4. Complete Le Wand Original Pleasure Set
Complete Le Wand Original Pleasure Set
In getting the vagina aroused and engorged with blood, Le Wand is a great choice. The complete set, with the different heads, not only provides for clitoral stimulation, but G-spot stimulation too. If it's deep penetration that's causing the pain, then G-spot stimulation just might the ticket. Gently, of course.
6. We-Vibe Sync
7. Hot Octopuss Queen Bee
Hot Octopuss Queen Bee
According to Hot Octopuss, the Queen Bee uses its PulsePlate Technology to stimulate the clitoris, which can help avoid painful penetration. Queen Bee, with its six vibration patterns and intensity levels, has something to offer everyone — even those who have an extra sensitive clitoris.
8. Ultra Bullet
Since my very first bullet vibrator, I recommend them to all my friends — especially those who experience pain during sex. Bullet vibes, like the Ultra Bullet, are small, discreet, and powerful. They're ideal for people who want to enjoy clitoral stimulation with their partner (or alone), without being overwhelming, as some of the bigger toys can be.
9. Womanizer Liberty
As a toy solely created to stimulate the clitoris, Womanizer has been helping people orgasm with its Pleasure Air Technology for a few years now. Not only has it been used to help women with orgasm difficulty, but women who experience pain during sex will also benefit from the clitoral stimulation that's less vibration and more suction-like in the way it feels.
If you have painful sex, sex toys that focus on your clitoris or limit deep penetration are your best bet. Of course, if you're experiencing it often, it's important to get to your doctor and see if there are any unresolved problems that they can help with.